Maggie - seems like something has got to give and there is a reason for all this madness. I pray that this little surgery gives answers and a fix to the problem so you can be on your way!
Gsalsa - Hey welcome back. As for at home ICI i'm not positive but if you have the ability to get it slightly inside I would say that's best - as that's what an IUI is. I think i've heard 24 hrs on the OPK as well!!!!
Yes the CCB friends page is around but it's a secret group that you have to be invited to. Are you part of the ccb group? If so message me on fb Natalie not Tommie and i'll request to add you.
I think some of the best ways to find info out is through others, the ccb pages would be good.
I haven't been checking this board, mainly from when it was down for maintenance for so long etc. Natalie and Tommie, did I lose you? I've checked your blog from time to time and it hasn't been updated in a long time... How did October go?
After the failed IVF I had that surgery to take a look at my ovaries. My left ovary was slightly embeded in my body cavity wall so he freed it and removed a slight amount of scar tissue... nothing major. OF COURSE! No endometriosis, my uterus looks great, my ovaries are fine etc etc etc. RE went ahead and flushed out my tubes again while he was in there. I took a little longer to recover from that procedure and needed more rest cycles. When I was finally ready, we used that extra vial and leftover drugs to do another hybrid cycle. It, of course, failed. BFN.
They haven't been able to find anything wrong with me and now with 8 failed IUIs and a failed IVF under my belt we've been discussing egg donation. It's definitely not the route I had originally planned, but I think there's way more benefits to it than straight up adoption. I've gotten info and met with the program director who explained the process and I'm left with the decision. Give up on my eggs or give them one last chance.
We've decided on one (probably) last IVF. I can be in my 40s and still have children with egg donation, but if I want to use my eggs, they're on a timer so to speak... I'm probably looking at the end of January before picking up and trying again. Downtime hasn't been ALL bad. I feel normal again. Thanksgiving was rough though. We were supposed to be hosting a 1st birthday party from my first miscarriage way back when. Back when I was so naive about the emotional toll of this process. I swear, it's still hard to believe all that we've been through. It still feels like someone else's heartbreak, someone else's story...
Natalie, thanks... LOVED his little picture!!! Your life plan of action is just about identical to ours. I can't help but be jealous that you get to live it out before us. We are literally doing the exact same thing, just without the success you've had... Doing both IS stressful!
Maggie, I just can't believe it. I told Tommie she should donate her eggs to you, I think her eggs are at the same point yours are as she turns 38 soon.
My heart is so heavy for you guys, we have been thinking about you and figured you took a much needed break from the site. And for us too, when the site was down we kinda lost touch.
I was asked to check on the donor registry and thought I'd pop over to check on you and poof there you were.
I'm glad that nothing is wrong in a way, but like you said it's bittersweet because there's no medical reason why this isn't happening for ya'll.
My aunt did an egg donor, twice! They have a set of boy twins and a single boy. They got to use the same donor twice and they used my aunts wifes brothers sperm - get that? lol...So don't give up! Even though Thatcher isn't biologically mine, he is 100% mine.
Where are ya'll living? I forgot and don't feel like going through all these posts. Ya'll really should consider keeping in touch with us, we feel so invested with ya'll.
Well anyways, we are STILL praying for ya'll!!!!!!
Thanks for the prayers, we need all we can get! :)
We haven't ruled out egg donation. I was never against adoption in the first place. Egg donation gives me the opportunity to actually carry which is a major part of this process for me. Maybe I'm just being greedy about it but that's a life experience I definitely want to have.
I don't have much of a christmas spirit this year, not sure why. It's not like I'm not thankful for what I already have or anything like that. I didn't decorate this year at all so that might be part of what's dragging me down. That, all these failures, the feeling of just spinning my wheels for 2 years and not getting anywhere. Like I said, totally jealous that your moving on with your life plan. I know I shouldn't be, but I am!
I JUST read your blog and couldn't help but burst into tears. Thank you so much for the well wishes. I'm trying so very hard to be as optimistic as possible. It's SOOO difficult at times. I have to be realistic and keep in the back of my mind that this may not happen for me, for us. It's the most hurtful thing I can think of, but it may be a reality. I have to stay grounded. Our finances, our patience, our emotions may not be able to survive this journey. I have so much stock in this upcoming IVF it isn't even funny. Our finances have us down to basically a yearly shot at this if we go the IVF route every time and even though I'm about to turn 37 my RE always reminds me that "I'm not getting any younger". I've got an upcoming birthday and it doesn't feel like anything to celebrate at all. I feel young, why can't my eggs be if that's the problem? Why can't the RE TELL ME what the problem is and fix it? I don't wish this kind of pain, frustration or anguish on anyone...
Oh Maggie, I can honestly say you are a stronger woman than both Tommie and I. I don't know that we would have kept going. The first time around of 5 cycles was stress enough and to be honest we have now had two failed cycles and it's devestating - especially to Tommie. She is more tender hearted than I am, but I am also more optimistic than she is, so that helps me get through it.
The thought of not having another is devestating so I can't even imagine the thought of none. Does your IVF dr not have a guarentee of pregnancy with the IVF? In california near San Fran there is a dr that guarentees pregnancy and will do transferes for free till you get pregnant. If you run out of frozen embryo's i'm not sure if they do the next IVF free or not but thats a great deal to get transfers free till pregnant - just pay for meds.
So when's the next IVF cycle? Sorry we don't get on here much, or do much blogging - we really have tried to keep these cycles to ourselves because it just sucks telling everyone, "nope, it's a negative." seems less stressful to us, but we aren't trying again for a bit cuz we are going on a vacay that would fall right on the IUI soooooo we shall see what happens.
It will happen! You just have to find the right route!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Maggie - any news as of lately? Good, bad or ugly? It's been a long time since we've gotten on here. We've built a house, moved in, and have been crazy busy. We're about to go for another set of IUI's here - 3 failed gonna try atleast 3 more times. Just wanted to see how you were!
It's ugly. We did another IVF in March. Tweaked the drugs slightly and stim a full 10 days instead of 8. The results were SO much better. I thought my embryos from the first IVF looked good but now that I have something to compare it to, they seemed mediocre. I had 3 beautiful 8 and 9 cell embryos. One of them was preparing to divide again! None of the others made it to blast. I haven't had embies make it long enough to freeze yet. That IVF was a bust. We were SO positive and SO hopeful but it wasn't meant to be. Seeing my egg quality improve so much gave us renewed hope for another try. My insurance paid for a good portion of this one so we are financially able to try again THIS year. After some rest cycles, I'm quickly approaching the critical day 1!
We worked out a new plan of attack which included some suppliments and adding Femara. I've been taking DHEA and CoQ10 for 3 months now. The studies I've read about them have promising egg quality results. RE also suggested a D&C right before my IVF cycle so I said let's do it. WOW. That hurt like a SOB!!! Advil was NOT enough for that!
My day 1 is less than a week away and I'm trying to get pumped up for it. Drugs are ordered and on the way! RE also helped me with a couple samples since my drugs aren't covered at all. Saved me about $400ish, hey I'll take what I can get!!! We're back in positive mode and we are throwing EVERYTHING possible at this IVF! And I mean EVERYTHING plus the kitchen sink!!!! The only thing left I haven't tried is acupuncture. I've looked into it and I'm just not sure I can afford all the visits they recommend plus this cycle's fees all at once. That being said, I've got no regrets! I've done everything I can possibly do to make this work! It's in God's hands now...
Congrats on the house! You're so ahead of us on the life plan. We're waiting on houses to sell before we can build. :(
You have got to be friends with me on Facebook!!! Maggie we are praying for you so hard. You and your partner deserve the joys of parenthood. I can't believe it hasn't worked for you yet but I'm so glad you haven't given up and I'm happy to see the renewed sence of hope!!!!!!!
With this new home came crappy gb restricted Internet so it's hard to upload pictures these days!!
We are thinking about you, please keep us updated! When is day 1 and how long before transfer!
Correction, we are not adding Femara. I was discussing the drug plan with a nurse over the phone and she thought that was a new request but it's not.
I went in on day 3 for my baseline and we ran into our very first bump in the road (when it comes to starting a cycle anyway). I had a very large follicle in my left ovary that was still there. RE said if I stimulate now, my left ovary might not produce anything at all so now I'm on the pill for the next 2 weeks till everything calms down, it self absorbs, and both ovaries are quiet again. That kind of delay is a first for us. I was REALLY bummed out about it but I'm better now. Have a follow up 7/3 to get the all clear. If I'm good to go, I'll start my shots that night!
April's birthstone is diamonds :) I'm good with that!!!! LOL
I'm in the habit of checking your blog once or twice a week now LOL. Thanks so much for the pics, he is absolutely adorable!!! I'm diggin' the red hair! He looks so happy too. Maybe we'll be prego together this second time around! I'd rather you guys be a little ahead of us anyway so we can ask you questions on what to expect LOL!
From what little I can see in the pics, your new house looks very nice! Love those dark floors!!! So jealous! We are searching for land now in the hopes we sell soon...I'll update this site with the 7/3 follow appt results. Enjoy every second of this you guys!!!
We can't wait to hear the details of your appointment! Diamonds are a girls best friend! Everything happens for a reason, maybe diamonds is your reward for having to put up with so much!
The house is wonderful, we are definitely enjoying it!!!! Building was fun but we definitely learned a lot! We can give you the 411 on that too!!!!!
I'm as impatient as ever, hoping the next few days fly by. Today was the first day my left ovary didn't flare up and burn. I think that's a great sign of healing. I'm REALLY hoping that we'll get good news wednesday and be able to start taking shots that night.
I've gotten a few gifts along this going on 3 year journey for all the stuff I've had to go thru and yes, diamonds ARE a girl's best friend! :) All our birthstones will be my favorite jems and colors!
Did you go with a local builder or a national company? Do you feel like it was a struggle at all? Meaning, harder to not be taken advantage of because you're girls? I've worried about that while we're looking for a builder...
How come pushed back another week? We are at the drs office now waiting on our US.
We went with a local builder who's very energy efficient conscious and builds above the future building standards as far as efficiency. He's well respected in the area and only does custom homes. We had no problem with him in any way. My opinion would be to go with someone who strictly does custom homes. It's also my opinion people who don't strictly do custom presale homes are not as tedious with the quality and detail as those who are just throwing homes together and trying to get them done as quickly as possible to get them in the real estate market to sell them. That's just my opinion. Our house inspector told us our house was impeccable perfect and he rarely rarely ever sees that. So do your research, ask around and go with a local who is energy efficient - shows you they care about quality!
I'm glad your ovary is feeling good this time around, praying for you every step of the way!
That's exactly who we're considering, a local builder who only does custom homes on your land! We've got 2 or 3 floorplans we've narrowed it down to but still need to sit down and hammer out a more exact price. Did you have price increases with a custom builder after they broke ground? We just can't wait to move forward and get out of this rut of spinning our wheels for so long!!! We both feel like our life is temporarily on hold and we're sick of it!!!
Got pushed back another week because I have some of the worst luck of anyone I know. I ended up with a bad case of poison ivy and had to clear it up first. I mean, really? What are the odds? Everything feels more and more stacked against us. We need a break already!!! LOL
Well you could write a pick me up book if nothing else works! It will work, the man up above is just waiting for the perfect time!!!
So any new news?
As far as the house, don't get too stuck on a plan, the most important thing is the lay out. Our builder told us to find a plan that we liked the layout but look about 3-500 sqft smaller. Said it's easier to add sqft than to take away. We actually designed our own house - I could email you our plan. It's a 4br/3 bath with a huge covered back patio. Open concept with huge laundry and walk in pantry. Only one eating area which is dining, besides a 5 seat bar. Split floorplan all with walk in closets. You should find a program to design your own...that way you can get an idea of what you want and draw it out - either way, design from internet or one you design or a hand drawn idea has to go to a draftsman and you pay the same amount for the plan (even if you buy all the plans online.)
We signed a contract that had everything in it - the kind of foundation, windows, doors, trim, fixtures, faucets, etc etc - everything was spelled out and the specifications of it. We didn't get the exact price till we hammered allll the details out.
It went like this: We gave him plan with a few modifications or ideas, he sent to draftsman, gave back to us, we modified some more then gave back to draftsman. Showed us final and we approved. He got our price point we wanted to be at and drew up the specification sheet with price based on that. Then we added or took away (he wanted to bury a 500g propane tank and we only wanted a 250 that we could get for like an 1/8 the cost so we had that removed. We wanted an upgraded AC unit. We wanted a deck. We wanted surround sound. We wanted crown molding in additional places. etc) So he deducted and added the costs of those details we changed which came up with the new price. So thats what we paid, if after we signed that contract we had any additional changes we either paid cash or he made an addendum to the contract. He told us if the changes were more than 5k worth he charged a 50$ fee. Something like that.
If you have a good builder he will be there explaining everything every step of the way. Make sure to ask about energy efficiency because our guy said the gov was about to change the standards - this will affect if you ever sold your home - it wouldn't be to standard. So to us it was important that we had a house built to a high energy standard for ourself now and for the future. Know what we mean?
We had our US the other day and there's one baby in there, HR was 120.
I had to change the settings on my blog because of some legal things - sucks this blog is all searchable on the web. I have to be careful what I type on here. Let me know if you want to see the blue prints.
Comments
Gsalsa - Hey welcome back. As for at home ICI i'm not positive but if you have the ability to get it slightly inside I would say that's best - as that's what an IUI is. I think i've heard 24 hrs on the OPK as well!!!!
Yes the CCB friends page is around but it's a secret group that you have to be invited to. Are you part of the ccb group? If so message me on fb Natalie not Tommie and i'll request to add you.
I think some of the best ways to find info out is through others, the ccb pages would be good.
After the failed IVF I had that surgery to take a look at my ovaries. My left ovary was slightly embeded in my body cavity wall so he freed it and removed a slight amount of scar tissue... nothing major. OF COURSE! No endometriosis, my uterus looks great, my ovaries are fine etc etc etc. RE went ahead and flushed out my tubes again while he was in there. I took a little longer to recover from that procedure and needed more rest cycles. When I was finally ready, we used that extra vial and leftover drugs to do another hybrid cycle. It, of course, failed. BFN.
They haven't been able to find anything wrong with me and now with 8 failed IUIs and a failed IVF under my belt we've been discussing egg donation. It's definitely not the route I had originally planned, but I think there's way more benefits to it than straight up adoption. I've gotten info and met with the program director who explained the process and I'm left with the decision. Give up on my eggs or give them one last chance.
We've decided on one (probably) last IVF. I can be in my 40s and still have children with egg donation, but if I want to use my eggs, they're on a timer so to speak... I'm probably looking at the end of January before picking up and trying again. Downtime hasn't been ALL bad. I feel normal again. Thanksgiving was rough though. We were supposed to be hosting a 1st birthday party from my first miscarriage way back when. Back when I was so naive about the emotional toll of this process. I swear, it's still hard to believe all that we've been through. It still feels like someone else's heartbreak, someone else's story...
My heart is so heavy for you guys, we have been thinking about you and figured you took a much needed break from the site. And for us too, when the site was down we kinda lost touch.
I was asked to check on the donor registry and thought I'd pop over to check on you and poof there you were.
I'm glad that nothing is wrong in a way, but like you said it's bittersweet because there's no medical reason why this isn't happening for ya'll.
My aunt did an egg donor, twice! They have a set of boy twins and a single boy. They got to use the same donor twice and they used my aunts wifes brothers sperm - get that? lol...So don't give up! Even though Thatcher isn't biologically mine, he is 100% mine.
Where are ya'll living? I forgot and don't feel like going through all these posts. Ya'll really should consider keeping in touch with us, we feel so invested with ya'll.
Well anyways, we are STILL praying for ya'll!!!!!!
We haven't ruled out egg donation. I was never against adoption in the first place. Egg donation gives me the opportunity to actually carry which is a major part of this process for me. Maybe I'm just being greedy about it but that's a life experience I definitely want to have.
I don't have much of a christmas spirit this year, not sure why. It's not like I'm not thankful for what I already have or anything like that. I didn't decorate this year at all so that might be part of what's dragging me down. That, all these failures, the feeling of just spinning my wheels for 2 years and not getting anywhere. Like I said, totally jealous that your moving on with your life plan. I know I shouldn't be, but I am!
I'm trying so very hard to be as optimistic as possible. It's SOOO difficult at times. I have to be realistic and keep in the back of my mind that this may not happen for me, for us. It's the most hurtful thing I can think of, but it may be a reality. I have to stay grounded. Our finances, our patience, our emotions may not be able to survive this journey. I have so much stock in this upcoming IVF it isn't even funny. Our finances have us down to basically a yearly shot at this if we go the IVF route every time and even though I'm about to turn 37 my RE always reminds me that "I'm not getting any younger".
I've got an upcoming birthday and it doesn't feel like anything to celebrate at all. I feel young, why can't my eggs be if that's the problem? Why can't the RE TELL ME what the problem is and fix it? I don't wish this kind of pain, frustration or anguish on anyone...
The thought of not having another is devestating so I can't even imagine the thought of none. Does your IVF dr not have a guarentee of pregnancy with the IVF? In california near San Fran there is a dr that guarentees pregnancy and will do transferes for free till you get pregnant. If you run out of frozen embryo's i'm not sure if they do the next IVF free or not but thats a great deal to get transfers free till pregnant - just pay for meds.
So when's the next IVF cycle? Sorry we don't get on here much, or do much blogging - we really have tried to keep these cycles to ourselves because it just sucks telling everyone, "nope, it's a negative." seems less stressful to us, but we aren't trying again for a bit cuz we are going on a vacay that would fall right on the IUI soooooo we shall see what happens.
It will happen! You just have to find the right route!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We worked out a new plan of attack which included some suppliments and adding Femara. I've been taking DHEA and CoQ10 for 3 months now. The studies I've read about them have promising egg quality results. RE also suggested a D&C right before my IVF cycle so I said let's do it. WOW. That hurt like a SOB!!! Advil was NOT enough for that!
My day 1 is less than a week away and I'm trying to get pumped up for it. Drugs are ordered and on the way! RE also helped me with a couple samples since my drugs aren't covered at all. Saved me about $400ish, hey I'll take what I can get!!! We're back in positive mode and we are throwing EVERYTHING possible at this IVF! And I mean EVERYTHING plus the kitchen sink!!!! The only thing left I haven't tried is acupuncture. I've looked into it and I'm just not sure I can afford all the visits they recommend plus this cycle's fees all at once. That being said, I've got no regrets! I've done everything I can possibly do to make this work! It's in God's hands now...
Congrats on the house! You're so ahead of us on the life plan. We're waiting on houses to sell before we can build. :(
With this new home came crappy gb restricted Internet so it's hard to upload pictures these days!!
We are thinking about you, please keep us updated! When is day 1 and how long before transfer!
I went in on day 3 for my baseline and we ran into our very first bump in the road (when it comes to starting a cycle anyway). I had a very large follicle in my left ovary that was still there. RE said if I stimulate now, my left ovary might not produce anything at all so now I'm on the pill for the next 2 weeks till everything calms down, it self absorbs, and both ovaries are quiet again. That kind of delay is a first for us. I was REALLY bummed out about it but I'm better now. Have a follow up 7/3 to get the all clear. If I'm good to go, I'll start my shots that night!
April's birthstone is diamonds :) I'm good with that!!!! LOL
I'm in the habit of checking your blog once or twice a week now LOL. Thanks so much for the pics, he is absolutely adorable!!! I'm diggin' the red hair! He looks so happy too. Maybe we'll be prego together this second time around! I'd rather you guys be a little ahead of us anyway so we can ask you questions on what to expect LOL!
From what little I can see in the pics, your new house looks very nice! Love those dark floors!!! So jealous! We are searching for land now in the hopes we sell soon...I'll update this site with the 7/3 follow appt results. Enjoy every second of this you guys!!!
The house is wonderful, we are definitely enjoying it!!!! Building was fun but we definitely learned a lot! We can give you the 411 on that too!!!!!
I've gotten a few gifts along this going on 3 year journey for all the stuff I've had to go thru and yes, diamonds ARE a girl's best friend! :) All our birthstones will be my favorite jems and colors!
Did you go with a local builder or a national company? Do you feel like it was a struggle at all? Meaning, harder to not be taken advantage of because you're girls? I've worried about that while we're looking for a builder...
We went with a local builder who's very energy efficient conscious and builds above the future building standards as far as efficiency. He's well respected in the area and only does custom homes. We had no problem with him in any way. My opinion would be to go with someone who strictly does custom homes. It's also my opinion people who don't strictly do custom presale homes are not as tedious with the quality and detail as those who are just throwing homes together and trying to get them done as quickly as possible to get them in the real estate market to sell them. That's just my opinion. Our house inspector told us our house was impeccable perfect and he rarely rarely ever sees that. So do your research, ask around and go with a local who is energy efficient - shows you they care about quality!
I'm glad your ovary is feeling good this time around, praying for you every step of the way!
We've got 2 or 3 floorplans we've narrowed it down to but still need to sit down and hammer out a more exact price. Did you have price increases with a custom builder after they broke ground? We just can't wait to move forward and get out of this rut of spinning our wheels for so long!!! We both feel like our life is temporarily on hold and we're sick of it!!!
Got pushed back another week because I have some of the worst luck of anyone I know. I ended up with a bad case of poison ivy and had to clear it up first. I mean, really? What are the odds? Everything feels more and more stacked against us. We need a break already!!! LOL
So any new news?
As far as the house, don't get too stuck on a plan, the most important thing is the lay out. Our builder told us to find a plan that we liked the layout but look about 3-500 sqft smaller. Said it's easier to add sqft than to take away. We actually designed our own house - I could email you our plan. It's a 4br/3 bath with a huge covered back patio. Open concept with huge laundry and walk in pantry. Only one eating area which is dining, besides a 5 seat bar. Split floorplan all with walk in closets. You should find a program to design your own...that way you can get an idea of what you want and draw it out - either way, design from internet or one you design or a hand drawn idea has to go to a draftsman and you pay the same amount for the plan (even if you buy all the plans online.)
We signed a contract that had everything in it - the kind of foundation, windows, doors, trim, fixtures, faucets, etc etc - everything was spelled out and the specifications of it. We didn't get the exact price till we hammered allll the details out.
It went like this: We gave him plan with a few modifications or ideas, he sent to draftsman, gave back to us, we modified some more then gave back to draftsman. Showed us final and we approved. He got our price point we wanted to be at and drew up the specification sheet with price based on that. Then we added or took away (he wanted to bury a 500g propane tank and we only wanted a 250 that we could get for like an 1/8 the cost so we had that removed. We wanted an upgraded AC unit. We wanted a deck. We wanted surround sound. We wanted crown molding in additional places. etc) So he deducted and added the costs of those details we changed which came up with the new price. So thats what we paid, if after we signed that contract we had any additional changes we either paid cash or he made an addendum to the contract. He told us if the changes were more than 5k worth he charged a 50$ fee. Something like that.
If you have a good builder he will be there explaining everything every step of the way. Make sure to ask about energy efficiency because our guy said the gov was about to change the standards - this will affect if you ever sold your home - it wouldn't be to standard. So to us it was important that we had a house built to a high energy standard for ourself now and for the future. Know what we mean?
We had our US the other day and there's one baby in there, HR was 120.
I had to change the settings on my blog because of some legal things - sucks this blog is all searchable on the web. I have to be careful what I type on here. Let me know if you want to see the blue prints.