Hey Mrg, how are you? I am still temping and trying to keep track of this cycle to be prepared for the next. Something inside of me just can't accept that we are not trying this month and I keep having a fantasy about quietly going to the RE on my positive opk day and not telling anyone. Somewhere in that dream is that if only I know about it, there will be no stress and no expectations and if it is positive it would be a lovely surprise. The rational part of me says that is a really stupid idea!! I think I am just so bummed to miss this month, plus this time of year is really hard for us with our family so geographically spread out and all of them always making us feel guilty!
That's my rant for the day over! Bring on mid January, I can't wait for the next month to be over!!
I'm okay, finished my clomid last night. Gave me wicked hot flashes lol. I know the feeling of skipping a month, we had to previously before my first iui. I assumed we was skipping this month as well due to Christmas and having 2 young boys that want everything on tv lol but the wife decided to go ahead and try this month. We are not telling anyone as well, too many people were disappointed when I had the early miscarriage. Follow your heart and do what you think is best is all I can say :) I do know the holidays can be very stressful with traveling, ect. I will stand by you whatever your decision is and follow your story :) I hope all else is well.
I hope you get your Christmas BFP - that would be wonderful! I think for some reason It just hit me over the weekend that i really don't want to miss a month and I ended up feeling emotional about it this morning which is really not like me a all. Most of our reasoning behind the wait was that I will need to take a number of flights over the holiday period and my wife was worried that might cause a problem. I know the sensible thing is to wait until new year, but it just seems to be hitting me harder than I would have expected.
I know what you mean re the kids wanting everything! I have a 13 year old and while his gift lists have got much shorter, everything on it seems to be much more expensive!! FX for you - when do you expect to be going for your insem?
Oh yeah, we have a 7 and 5 year old. With technology these days they want everything they shouldn't even know about lol. Well I go for the u/s on the 14th to check if the clomid worked. If so she will tell me a time to do the trigger shot and when to come back in. Hopefully a deal or 2 after the 14th. I don't like waiting lol. This will be my first time carrying a child. My wife carried our 2 boys.
We are doing it this cycle and I have such mixed feelings about it. I don't want our TWW over the holiday but it could be our Christmas miracle. We do an ultrasound this Friday and probably insemination next Monday or Tuesday. We are doing two inseminations this round. I just want to do clomid already. Our Doctor is being conservative and we have to do two failed rounds before stepping up intervention. At least after this cycle we have one more cycle if we don't get pregnant before we hit our four out of pocket for insurance and then it will kick in. Hopefully we are pregnant after this cycle. I'm tired of all the appointments. Trying to hang in there.
Hey Julie, I totally understand that fantasy! And your desire to try this month despite the hectic circumstances! You and your wife need to decide what is best for you. Sometimes I think a month off might be good for my mind and body, yet I can't bring myself to follow through.
Mrg92, sorry to hear about the clomid side effects. It has never seemed to bother me, but I have heard that for some people, it is a bad experience. I hope you have plump follies growing in there!
Elliejo, keep hope! The first 2 times we conceived were natural, with no intervention. One resulted in the 18 month old that is currently running around my kitchen, and the second was unfortunately lost around 8 weeks. Either way, it can totally happen...if all of the stars align! Good luck this month. Christmas miracles are real!
As for us, I begin clomid on Thursday with my first follie check on the 18th. Our iui should be the week of Christmas!
Thanks Rebecca, my wife talked me off that ledge haha, we are accepting the one month break and looking at the positives. As she pointed out, if we were lucky this time, we would be worried about all the flights, and I would never forgive myself if we did conceive but something happened because of the hectic and strenuous month. We are unexpectedly managing a short trip to the Caribbean (just the 2 of us as my son has opted to stay with his grandparents) so we are focusing on chilling by the beach and drinking free beer and hopefully coming back ready to rock!
Rebecca - have you selected your new donor? Was it a tough choice, or did the right one just shine out for you? Mrg, Elliejo and Rebecca, I am keeping everything crossed for your Christmas BFPs and hope to join you in the new year! (oh and, ladies who have taken clomid - which days do you take it? I am going to have a conversation with my RE about this, she refused last month but I am going to bring it up again.Thanks!)
I just found out my donor is a carrier for galactosemia, which is a serious genetic disorder that means major lactose dietary restriction and possibly developmental delays!! I don't know what to do...I haven't been genetically tested and I am afraid of passing this down...Just wanted to share and see if any of you had experience.
Livvy, I'm so sorry. I had this experience in September with my donor being a carrier for a chromosome disorder - which I found out in the TWW. It was a BFN month anyway but I had to think hard about it and it is a horrible situation to be in. I had the luxury of moving to another donor but I think the most important to consider is getting tested yourself, then you will know if the baby is likely to just be a carrier or have the disorder (I'm sure chances are you don't carry it so the baby would just have a chance of being a carrier) That's what I would have done if I had been pregnant after that TWW. We have SO much information doing it this way, most people never know all the things they or their partners carry when they conceive the 'normal' way. Try not to worry (stupid advice, I know) and get a test, no point worrying about something that is likely not an issue. At least if the baby is a carrier, you and they will know in advance and be informed for the future. So sorry again, the last thing you need is this stress. Julie
Thanks, Julie. I really appreciate your kind words, b/c I am feeling ANGRY. Good thing I am off to running club in a few...
The disclaimer I got about this donor from Cali Cryo said the average person carries 5-10 genetic mutations (recessive) and that it is impossible to test for all of them...so I feel like if I say no to this guy and move on to another, hell, he could have something that ALSO has a chance of happening.
Any given baby has a 3-4% chance of being born with some genetic defect (I know, I hate that stat) so part of me says, fuck it, the odds of me having this as a Caucasian woman are 1/140, do I really want to wait another month? And the other part is like, watch, we'll be the couple to have the poor baby who is born with this disorder.
I guess I will just have to see what my wife wants to do, but I am so utterly sick of all of this!
Livvy, if you end up deciding to go with a different donor, they will just exchange the vials you have. That's what I did although as you say - who knows if the next one carries something too!! I suppose we came to the conclusion that we couldn't knowingly using the guy when there is a definite possibility of a problem. Good luck with your decision!
Thanks so much for the information Mrg, I am going to make my case to my RE as I really feel like we have been doing this unmedicated long enough, next time will be #5!! although to be fair, our timing was out last time.
Hey Julie-That's exactly what my wife & I decided...we love this donor but we can't knowingly risk having a child with this condition. If I test negative for this recessive gene, which I am sure I probably will, then we'll move forward b/c he's too cute to pass up:)
Question? When do you usually get inseminated after the trigger. Our doc has us trigger at night then two days later in the morning come in for the insemination. Just curious. Want to get timing right.
Just got really bad news. We missed this cycle. We ovulated already. :( super bummed because we wanted a Christmas miracle. I'm feeling pretty hopeless with this process.
Elliejo, I am so sorry to hear that. I understand the hopeless feeling, but trust me, as someone who has a perfect little girl ask a result of this process, it is so worth it! I hope you both will be able to enjoy your holidays together! Maybe Santa will bring you a New Year miracle.
Hey everyone! just a quick update for us: we have made our new donor selection and have an appt to check follie progress tomorrow morning. Hoping the timing works out for a try early next week. Our office is small and isn't open on weekends, so there is a chance that we won't be able to make it through this weekend without missing it, but guess we will have to wait and see.
How is everyone else doing?
Mrg, did you iui already this month?
Livvy, did you all pick a new donor, or decide to stick with your current one? Are you trying again this month?
Julie, I hope you are enjoying a less-stressed December! How are you and your wife doing?
Chelsea, your transfer should be fast approaching! How are you feeling?
Hi Rebecca! It sucks that the office is not open at the weekend but you seem to be very together about it, I'm glad you were able to select your donor, was it an easy choice or did you both agonize over it? Were you on Clomid again this month? We are good, I am knee deep in packing right now and not organized at all - flying tomorrow!! I am determined to just chill out and enjoy this month! Can't wait to hear how everyone is doing this month, everyone has been very quiet! Julie
Hi all!!! My AF came which is so lame because it has nothing to do with getting pregnant since my wife is carrying. So for me just an annoyance. So I'm trying to focus on Christmas while waiting for Abby's AF starts so we can begin trying again. I did find us a support group to attend for other couples going through artificial insemination. It's on Tuesday. I'm a therapist and completely believe in this type of thing. I hope we can find additional support throughout this process with people in Chicago where we live. Anyways happy holidays to all of you.
So, as it turns out, Monday is going to be perfect timing based on ultrasound and bloodwork. But my doctor told me yesterday that he would meet us at the office on Saturday or Sunday to do the procedure if that's what was needed. Definitely made me like our doc even more and realize that he really wants to help us get pregnant. So anyway, we will trigger tomorrow and iui on Monday afternoon. Finger crossed that Santa brings us an extra special, somewhat delayed present for Christmas!
As for selecting a new donor, it wasn't nearly as difficult as the first time. First we narrowed the options by matching our daughter's donor's physical characteristics as closely as possible. Then we eliminated anyone who had a donor ID that came before our previous donor, thinking if we didn't pick him before there was a reason. And that left us with a reasonably small amount to look through. CCB was nice enough to extend us a 30 day complimentary subscription so that we could see all of the donor information, which was awesome! And within one night we had made our selection, and a couple back ups in case this donor runs low or out of vials before we get out BFP. So all in all, not too bad. In having our daughter for 18 months, I think we have realized that who our children become is more dependent on who we are as parents, then who the donor may be.
Julie, I hope you managed to get everything packed! Safe travels and happy holidays! Enjoy!
Cari, that support group sounds great! I would love to have something like that in my area. For now, I rely on you gals and my friends! Fingers crossed that Abby's AF arrives as a welcome holiday guest!
Pols, good luck!! I'm excited for you and hope you get that extra special Christmas present this year;)
My wife and I both got genetically screened this past week and we'll know in 2-3 weeks if either of us carries the rare recessive gene our favorite donor carries. He really is the best--I can't even imagine choosing another one. If all is clear, and neither of us has the gene, we'll move forward and my next IUI will likely be January 15th. Thanks for asking:)
Elliejo, let us know how the support group goes. I am a counselor and also a big believer in this kind of thing. That's why I'm on here!
Julie, have a wonderful trip and check in with you all soon!
Holiday wishes from Scotland!! I am enjoying some family time before Christmas before rushing off for a nice beach vacation for just my wife and myself! Waiting for CD 1, hurry up AF!! Hoping once we get back from vacation we will have our insem mid January. Rebecca, did you go for your insemination over the weekend? I am so glad you found it easy to choose the donor, we found it much easier the second time we had to choose too! I hope it all goes well and this is a quick TWW - keeping everything crossed for you, this is your month!! Good luck everyone and the happiest of holidays to all!
So we had our IUI yesterday! Back in the TWW...hoping the holidays help to make it pass quickly! I will keep you updated if I have any symptoms to feelings! Just keeping our fingers crossed that this is our month!
Hope everyone else enjoys time with family and friends celebrating the holidays!
Comments
That's my rant for the day over! Bring on mid January, I can't wait for the next month to be over!!
I know what you mean re the kids wanting everything! I have a 13 year old and while his gift lists have got much shorter, everything on it seems to be much more expensive!! FX for you - when do you expect to be going for your insem?
Mrg92, sorry to hear about the clomid side effects. It has never seemed to bother me, but I have heard that for some people, it is a bad experience. I hope you have plump follies growing in there!
Elliejo, keep hope! The first 2 times we conceived were natural, with no intervention. One resulted in the 18 month old that is currently running around my kitchen, and the second was unfortunately lost around 8 weeks. Either way, it can totally happen...if all of the stars align! Good luck this month. Christmas miracles are real!
As for us, I begin clomid on Thursday with my first follie check on the 18th. Our iui should be the week of Christmas!
Baby dust to all!
Rebecca - have you selected your new donor? Was it a tough choice, or did the right one just shine out for you?
Mrg, Elliejo and Rebecca, I am keeping everything crossed for your Christmas BFPs and hope to join you in the new year!
(oh and, ladies who have taken clomid - which days do you take it? I am going to have a conversation with my RE about this, she refused last month but I am going to bring it up again.Thanks!)
I just found out my donor is a carrier for galactosemia, which is a serious genetic disorder that means major lactose dietary restriction and possibly developmental delays!! I don't know what to do...I haven't been genetically tested and I am afraid of passing this down...Just wanted to share and see if any of you had experience.
-Livvy
That's what I would have done if I had been pregnant after that TWW. We have SO much information doing it this way, most people never know all the things they or their partners carry when they conceive the 'normal' way. Try not to worry (stupid advice, I know) and get a test, no point worrying about something that is likely not an issue. At least if the baby is a carrier, you and they will know in advance and be informed for the future.
So sorry again, the last thing you need is this stress.
Julie
The disclaimer I got about this donor from Cali Cryo said the average person carries 5-10 genetic mutations (recessive) and that it is impossible to test for all of them...so I feel like if I say no to this guy and move on to another, hell, he could have something that ALSO has a chance of happening.
Any given baby has a 3-4% chance of being born with some genetic defect (I know, I hate that stat) so part of me says, fuck it, the odds of me having this as a Caucasian woman are 1/140, do I really want to wait another month? And the other part is like, watch, we'll be the couple to have the poor baby who is born with this disorder.
I guess I will just have to see what my wife wants to do, but I am so utterly sick of all of this!
Livvy
Good luck with your decision!
Take care and keep positive,
Rebecca
Are you currently in the TWW (Two Week Wait, between iui and being able to test or getting AF Aunt Flo)?
How is everyone else doing?
Mrg, did you iui already this month?
Livvy, did you all pick a new donor, or decide to stick with your current one? Are you trying again this month?
Julie, I hope you are enjoying a less-stressed December! How are you and your wife doing?
Chelsea, your transfer should be fast approaching! How are you feeling?
Baby dust to all this holiday season!
Rebecca
We are good, I am knee deep in packing right now and not organized at all - flying tomorrow!! I am determined to just chill out and enjoy this month!
Can't wait to hear how everyone is doing this month, everyone has been very quiet!
Julie
Cari
As for selecting a new donor, it wasn't nearly as difficult as the first time. First we narrowed the options by matching our daughter's donor's physical characteristics as closely as possible. Then we eliminated anyone who had a donor ID that came before our previous donor, thinking if we didn't pick him before there was a reason. And that left us with a reasonably small amount to look through. CCB was nice enough to extend us a 30 day complimentary subscription so that we could see all of the donor information, which was awesome! And within one night we had made our selection, and a couple back ups in case this donor runs low or out of vials before we get out BFP. So all in all, not too bad. In having our daughter for 18 months, I think we have realized that who our children become is more dependent on who we are as parents, then who the donor may be.
Julie, I hope you managed to get everything packed! Safe travels and happy holidays! Enjoy!
Cari, that support group sounds great! I would love to have something like that in my area. For now, I rely on you gals and my friends! Fingers crossed that Abby's AF arrives as a welcome holiday guest!
Hope everyone else is doing well too!
My wife and I both got genetically screened this past week and we'll know in 2-3 weeks if either of us carries the rare recessive gene our favorite donor carries. He really is the best--I can't even imagine choosing another one. If all is clear, and neither of us has the gene, we'll move forward and my next IUI will likely be January 15th. Thanks for asking:)
Elliejo, let us know how the support group goes. I am a counselor and also a big believer in this kind of thing. That's why I'm on here!
Julie, have a wonderful trip and check in with you all soon!
Rebecca, did you go for your insemination over the weekend? I am so glad you found it easy to choose the donor, we found it much easier the second time we had to choose too! I hope it all goes well and this is a quick TWW - keeping everything crossed for you, this is your month!!
Good luck everyone and the happiest of holidays to all!
Hope everyone else enjoys time with family and friends celebrating the holidays!
Take care,
Rebecca