I'm starting to panic...

mommy87mommy87 Posts: 103
in Single Mothers by Choice
I'm still trying to get an app. with a RE. None of the clinics will return any of my calls or my emails. I'm starting to panic. Is it because of my age? What should I do? Should I just go to a clinic and make a app. there instead of calling? I'm getting scared. Will I ever find a doctor?
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Comments

  • Sunshyne2010Sunshyne2010 Posts: 91
    I would hope that it is not because of your age that they aren't calling back and simply because they're busy. If you don't mind me asking how old are you and what state are you in? I may be able to help you locate a good RE. I'm a Social Worker and its part of my job to help people locate resources in their area.
  • smaciegraciesmaciegracie Posts: 296
    I was 22 when i started looking for an Re. I went to one who basically me made feel like I shouldn't be doing this because of my age, he wanted me to dump through hoops before he would provide care. I gave it a rest for about 7 months and then I finally found and RE that was respectful ( females are better).
  • 2beamom2beamom Posts: 108
    Just take a deep breath, and know that these RE offices are super busy. I sometimes have to remind myself that they ahve 100's of patients! they shouldn't be discriminating against your age, how old are you. There are single women on here from early 20's to mid 40's. Good luck and calm down, if nothing else don't tell them your age over the phone! Nicole
  • mommy87mommy87 Posts: 103
    To Sunshyne2010, I'm 22 and live in IL closer to the Rockford area. I found a lot in IL but most of them were like 80 to 100 miles away from me.

    To smaciegracie, thank you. I seem to be having trouble locating females around me. Most are men and I don't want a male RE or OBGYN. I'm more comfortable with females.

    To 2beamom, I started calling and emailing at the beginning different places a few weeks ago. I'm 22. I'm trying to breath and stay calm.

    Thank you all for you advice and help.
    Nicole
  • katherine09katherine09 Posts: 10
    Go to the primary care physician that you are assigned to through the health insurance (that your employer provides). The primary care provider will refer you to someone.
  • mommy87mommy87 Posts: 103
    katherine09, My job doesn't provide insurance for me. I work 38 hours a week. Two hours under the limit. If I worked 40 hours a week, I would get insurance. I'm paying for everything out of my pocket.
  • Sunshyne2010Sunshyne2010 Posts: 91
    mommy87- These are the clinic I found so far near the Rockford area:
    1. Reproductive Health and Fertility Clinic
    973 Featherstone Rd.
    Rockford,IL 61107
    815-986-3737

    2. Reproductive Health and Fertility Clinic
    435 Mulford Rd
    Rockford, IL 61107
    815-986-3737

    3. Fertility Center of Illinois
    767 Park Avenue Suite West
    Highland Park, IL 60035
    847-433-5206

    4. Fertility Center of Illinois
    8651 West 159th St
    Orland Park, IL
    708-614-7768

    Start with these and I'll continue to look for you. Good Luck!!!
  • mommy87mommy87 Posts: 103
    Sunshyne2010,
    Thank you so much. I really want to go to either to the first or second one. I have emailed them both. They said they would get back to me within 2 days. I just want to find a doctor that I am comfortable with and can be completely open and honest with them. I'm trying to stay positive.
  • Sunshyne2010Sunshyne2010 Posts: 91
    No problem, I hope one of the two works out for you if not let me know and I will find some other ones.
  • mommy87mommy87 Posts: 103
    No one has replied yet. But i have to remind myself, it's only been a day. I'm going to try and re email one of them using a different email address. I'm hoping I get a reply soon. I feel like I'm sitting on pins and needles waiting for a reply. Sorry for the rant, I just needed to let it out.
  • LydiaLydia Posts: 29
    As a word of advice, I'd try to find something to occupy yourself while waiting for these responses, or you'll drive yourself nuts.

    This would be applicable even after you find a doctor and are going through the tests and inseminations, because most of this is actually a waiting game, and it is best to think about this going on for at least several months (about 3-5) rather then just a month or two.

    First comes the tests to make sure you have no preeminant fertility issues, then questions to make sure you can handle having and being able to care for a baby. (They have to do these last things because of that OctoMom incident.)
    Then after that it is picking out the donor and monitering your cycles to find out when you ovulate.
    After that's done, then you get to go through the actual procedure.

    It is frustrating, but it takes time.
  • mommy87mommy87 Posts: 103
    I know who the OctoMom is and I know she has like 14 kids. I might be out of the loop, but What is the OctoMom incident? Did she do something wrong?
  • LydiaLydia Posts: 29
    No, I just call it the OctoMom 'incident' because of the notoriety of her case :)
  • 2beamom2beamom Posts: 108
    Octomom did make some doctors more cautious with pregnancies for single mommies to be, but mostly as in wont put in more than two embryos for IVF,(which seems to make since anyway!) like my RE. Some RE's ask about your background, some don't. I too feel more comfortable with female obs and such, oh and I am 27, mommy87. And am paying out of pocket too. :)there is lots of PATIENCE required in this whole journey, trust me. :) Glad you brought that up Lydia. Ii think we all go into this thinking we will instantly become moms, some do and for some it takes longer, but it is all worth it once we've got that baby in our arms. Good luck mommy87 :)patience is so worth it in this journey
  • mommy87mommy87 Posts: 103
    Oh alright.:) I didn't know if something really bad happened. I know that maybe someday I will have 8 kids, but I know I can't handle 8 at the same time....Wait with IUI there is no chance of 8 babies at once is there?
  • LydiaLydia Posts: 29
    Not unless your ovaries are seriously overstimulated, though the doctor won't do the procedure if they see signs of that. Also they see that as very bad, as it can be dangerous too, with all those follicals rupturing at once...

    You can count me as third as paying out of pocket, though very likely my income is a lot less then both of yours. It's not so much a matter of infertility for me, rather it is being very chronically underfunded to do this. :)
  • mommy87mommy87 Posts: 103
    I think I messed this up in an older post. I get paid every Two weeks so I'm able to work 38-40 hours in two weeks not one. But one of the best things about my job (I work at a gym daycare) is when the baby turns 6 weeks old. I can bring him/her to work with me for free because I work in the daycare. So every time I'm working. Baby will be with me. I also can put baby into the daycare for free if I want to go exercise. I asked my boss this yesterday. I think that pretty generous of my work.

    That's been one of the things I always worried about... What happens with baby when I have to go back to work. That's one less thing to worry about. so instead of 100, 99 more thing to worry about!
  • 2beamom2beamom Posts: 108
    No mommy87, not really a chance of 8 with IUI! unless you were on clomid and were hyperstimulated, but then your doc wouldn't go thorugh with the insemination that cycle anyway.Twins of course are a possibility, esp, with a family history of twins!
  • tjmoorstjmoors Posts: 151
    Kate from Jon & Kate plus 8 had her sextuplets via IUI. She said so herself in an interview on her now-discontinued show.
  • mommy87mommy87 Posts: 103
    But was she using any drugs like clomid? Or was it with no meds.?
  • tjmoorstjmoors Posts: 151
    She had to have been on meds. I'm trying to research on what meds she did take, but all it says is that she underwent IUI's for her twins and sextuplets.
  • mommy87mommy87 Posts: 103
    You know I was reading some doctor reports saying if there is a chance that there will be more then two fertilized eggs. Then some doctors make you promise to do Reproductive selection or else they wont take you as a patient. I think that is completely horrible to do. especially if a Doctor is making you choose that.
  • 2beamom2beamom Posts: 108
    Was a big jon and kate fan, yes she was using fertility meds when she had her IUI, I believe clomid. She used clomid for the twins too. which is why they were not expecting 6!
  • mommy87mommy87 Posts: 103
    I finally herd back from one of the clinics and it wasn't quite what I expected. Is it normal to charge $450.00 for 1 ultrasound? Because this clinic does. I added everything up for the entire procedure to be done not including the buying of the vials and only 1 ultrasound it, If I used this clinic it will be close to 7,000 dollars. Do you all think I could find a something better?
  • Sunshyne2010Sunshyne2010 Posts: 91
    I'm going to check my bills when I get home from work and let you know how much my ultrasound was so that you can compare. I know that until you actually get pregnant there will be many ultrasounds including vaginal ones while you're on your cycle so carefully considering the cost is important. Have you ever thought of going with an ICI, which you can do at home? This may be cheaper.
  • Sunshyne2010Sunshyne2010 Posts: 91
    I checked my payment sheets and I paid $230 for a vaginal ultrasound.
  • mommy87mommy87 Posts: 103
    I have never considered ICI. Is it more difficult to do by yourself? Would i still have to go to an RE. They also said just for one sit down with the doctor its $350.00. I might consider ICI. Could someone explain whats involved with that? I only know about IUIs.
  • Sunshyne2010Sunshyne2010 Posts: 91
    Intracervical insemination (ICI) is one of the oldest and most common artificial insemination procedures, dating back as far as the 1880s. Similar to intrauterine insemination (IUI), it involves placing sperm directly into the woman's reproductive tract to improve the chances of pregnancy. The main difference is that the ICI procedure places the sperm sample near the cervix, rather than the uterus as in IUI. From the cervix, the sperm travels up the uterus and into the fallopian tubes to fertilize the egg. Since the sperm is placed further away from the fallopian tubes than in the IUI procedure, prices for ICI are typically much lower.
    In general, ICI costs much less than IUI, which is why it is one of the most common artificial insemination techniques performed. The cost of each ICI cycle ranges between $200 and $350; however, several cycles may be necessary to conceive. In addition, if sperm washing or donor sperm is involved the prices will increase.
    Hope this helps
  • 2beamom2beamom Posts: 108
    Wow you live in illinois and they want to charge you that much, that is ridiculous. I live in Iowa, ultrasounds cost me $200, IUI itself is $335 which includes sperm wash and of course then there's the sperm + shipping which is around $850. Can't figure out why they would charge so much. And I go to one of the most respected fertility centers in the midwest. Please keep us updated.
  • 2beamom2beamom Posts: 108
    $7000 way too much $! And I thought $1200 was a lot! Find another clinic sweetie!
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