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any single teachers out there?

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  • DrADrA Posts: 50
    nbound72 good evening,

    I am so sorry you have to go thru all the waiting...this little girl is already testing your love and care. I hope its nothing important and that we will all celebrate her birth in few weeks. How do you handle work? Do you have any help?
    Have a relaxing evenng,
    dra
  • tnctnc Posts: 85
    Hi ladies,
    Just want to thank you for being there. I am pregnant and got to see the heartbeat on Friday. YEAH!!! The hard part is now running to the bathroom at work, which is down the hall, and nausea. All of which I am very grateful for and thank God daily. I am sending all of you lots of baby dust.
  • abbyjennaabbyjenna Posts: 126
    Congrats, tnc! For my brief time of being pregnant, I was SO thankful for the para in my classroom! I had to tell her I was pregnant because I didn't want her to think something was wrong that I kept having to go to the bathroom! I kept a pack of saltines on my desk at all times for the nausea.

    For anyone who's interested... we have a great facebook group going for single ladies only. There are a lot of teachers and people in the education field on there. If you're interested, email me at abbyjenna@gmail.com and I'll get you into it. It's a secret group, so you won't give away anything to your FB friends.
  • Sophie3Sophie3 Posts: 1
    I'm 39 in a month and single. I teach high school health-and I plan on being pregnant in late August (so I deliver in June).

    Any advice? I'm nervous about this decision, especially since my school district is going down in flames!
  • nbound72nbound72 Posts: 153
    Hi Sophie - If you're interested there's a great group of us on a private facebook page. It's a supportive group of single moms and single moms to be. They are mostly all from this donor site. I think there's a post about it in this section. These women are so supportive and a wealth of knowledge.

    I'm 38 and a teacher too. I teach 4th grade in Florida. I understand about the school district going down in flames. Ours is too.

    With that said, it's a really exciting time ttc but it's also a whirlwind. I was pregnant with my donor but unfortunately I lost the baby. Being pregnant was such a happy time and I look forward to feeling that again very soon.

    Good luck and hope you'll think about joining the facebook group.

    Susan
  • BB5BB5 Posts: 1
    Hi everyone! I am new to this entire process and like all of you a concerned teacher....the concern being what everyone in my middle school will say and think about my decision to have a baby on my own while being single.

    My first question is who do I go see to get started? My regular gyno or an IVF specialist?

    Next, how does the process work once I have selected a donor and have sperm stored somewhere in California being that I am in NJ?

    Lastly, has anyone told their "work community" about what they are doing? How did it go? Any advice?
  • abbyjennaabbyjenna Posts: 126
    BB5 - where in NJ are you? I'm in DE. I started with a fertility doc - my regular gyn is a midwife and they don't do this stuff. As for telling school... I don't know yet. The teachers know - those that I'm close with. They totally support me. My principal knows because (as you'll find out) there are a billion doctors appointments you'll have to go to. She's been very flexible with me.

    If you're interested, you should join the facebook group! Just go on FB and search for Gentry Benjamin. She'll let you in (it's totally secret so none of your facebook friends will know about it).
  • lookmooselookmoose Posts: 1
    Wow--all the single teachers! I'm so impressed that we are all here! I am the mommma of a 17 month-old girl and a sixth grade teacher.

    I told a trusted, small number of people at my school and I didn't tell anybody anything else. It's nobody's business! More people found out, but I didn't want to hide it for the sake of my little girl. Rumors fester anyway, so I figured that if rumors fester, they can fester correctly!

    Anyway, nice to meet you! I have one more vial that's frozen, I'm still single, and now I have to decide--use the vial or not. Whew.....
  • tnctnc Posts: 85
    welcome Lookmoose,
    I have told family and church now that I am four months pregnant. I have not told work. They just all think I am getting fat and I wear really baggy clothes.

    Do what is best for you and your daughter. Good luck in your process.
  • KarenRKarenR Posts: 105
    I announced my pregnancy at work a few weeks ago - at 15 weeks pregnant. My colleagues were so happy - many were sobbing and I got endless hugs and best wishes. My administrators were all great too.

    The parents in the school (I teach 3rd grade in an elementary school) were 99% happy for me and wrote me beautiful emails and letters. There were a few who complained to the principal, but I let her take care of it. (It is your legal right to be protected by your employer as a pregnant woman.)

    Good luck to everyone out there. After 15 weeks of secret keeping, coming out was a JOY.

    :-)
  • rachelkrachelk Posts: 4
    Am I relieved to find you ladies! Single teacher, as well. Love kids, have always wanted a family of my own. Decided when I hit 35 to look into options, so I did. Set up appt. last month with the fertility doc., got the preliminary bloodwork done. Expected IUI, no problem.

    Turns out that my FSH is 13.1. Doc is pessimistic about my ability to conceive without IVF. With IVF, who knows. So, I'm starting Clomid, etc. on my next cycle and giving it a go.

    The thing is, rationally, I understand the blessing of this information. If I hadn't gotten the bloodwork done now, I would have never known how imperative it was to start trying to conceive NOW. Got a second opinion, and both docs agree that were it two years from now, we'd be having a far different discussion, one that centered around adoption. (Though it very well might, and all children are blessings, no matter how they come into our lives).

    I guess the problem is that, while I'm trying to cultivate gratitude for the knowledge that I now have, I also feel like I'm in mourning. Mourning a potential, maybe? I feel so sad for having waited this long, and angry at the universe, really, that I've lost a lot of fertility so early.

    I'm working with a therapist and taking care of myself emotionally, just wondering, really, if anyone else has experienced the same emotions, and what it felt like on the other side.

    On the incredibly plus side, I have great coworkers and an amazing principal who is totally supportive.

    Thanks everyone.
  • KarenRKarenR Posts: 105
    Hi Rachel and welcome.
    These feelings of up and down are a normal part of this process. It is a roller coaster ride - you get good news, then bad, the good, and it goes on and on. Just put your faith in your dr and if you don't feel like he is doing best by you, find someone else. I had 4 failed IUIs before my successful IVF.
    I have heard that accupuncture can help with high FSH.
    Good luck and keep believing. You sound like you already have a great attitude.
    -Karen
  • kimmie123kimmie123 Posts: 14
    On the positive side...your FSH changes each month, so just because it was a 13 this time around doesn't meant that next time it can"t be lower. My first FSH was 12.4 and this time around it's a 9.5. This is my 2nd IVF and I'm 43, just had 5 embroyes transfered this a.m. Keeping my fingers crossed, during the 2ww wait!

    Good Luck and baby dust to you!
  • lucygooseylucygoosey Posts: 1
    Wow! So many teachers on here! Interesting. I wonder if anyone's ever done a study on the number of single teachers having kids on their own...
  • GiftsofJoyGiftsofJoy Posts: 35
    Hi ladies,

    I've been taking a mini break since my first iui. i pray that everyone has been doing well.

    i didn't intend for my break to be so long, but with teaching, testing, and with the school system discouraging taking time off it was difficult.

    well, i'm going to begin do another iui in a few weeks. CD 1 is here. i didn't have a cycle after my first iui; well, i actually spotted for two weeks.

    i think it was because i took clomid and then cancelled iui. i had to throw away the trigger shot (ugh). i think my cycle got screwed up and on top of that i have pcos. anyway it's here and on time. calling doct to set up appointment for ultrasound.

    any news of pregnancies, or births?

    best wishes !
  • apuliaficoapuliafico Posts: 2
    Does anyone know what happened to the private group on Facebook? It seems to be gone.
  • kimmie123kimmie123 Posts: 14
    Found out today it's a BFN. I have a follow up appt. this Tuesday to decide what to do next. Hoping my RE will be willing to try another IVF cycle. I don't think I'm ready for the discussion of donor egg's or adoption just yet.
  • worldteacherworldteacher Posts: 2
    I am so glad that I found this thread. I am a single teacher from the UK and currently in the process of moving to teach in an international school in Beijing. I am 27 at the moment and although I know I have a little while to find a fella to set up with, I also know that time is starting to run out. I want to spend the next two years paying of final bits of student debt and save to put a deposit on a house (which will be let out in the city where my sisters live in the UK). Financially I can do this on my own (although I will find out if any of the appointments will be covered by insurance). I am really pleased to find out that I am not the only single teacher out there wanting to do this. I had thought about what people in the school will think but looking at the list there are a few single parents. My only concern is that they already had their children before joining the school.

    I am broody as hell right now and have been for a few years. I am not sure how much longer I can wait.
  • tch2lrntch2lrn Posts: 1
    I'm also a single teacher and going through the process of having a child thru donor sperm. The people I work with were told last school year that I was checking into this option. All but 1 understands. Mind you, I work with all women and a staff of only 16. I teach Early Childhood Special Ed. (2-5 year olds with disabilities).

    Although my sister did IVF (and had triplets!), she is married and my family supported her decision. My father is against this, but as I am 41 and independent, I don't need his consent. I truly feel that I was put on this Earth to be a mommy!

    According to my reg gyn, all my "parts" are in working order. My fertility specialist has given me the go ahead to choose my donor.

    For those of you who have children, how did you pick your donor? How many vials did you buy at a time? How did you pay for it?

    Thanks for answering my questions.
  • MKS2012MKS2012 Posts: 18
    It is nice to know that I am in such great company! I am a school social worker and am single. I will be going in for my first IUI next week. Just in time for school to start! Anyway, baby dust to you all and hope your school year gets off to a good start.
  • sophist3sophist3 Posts: 1
    So happy to see there are fellow teachers out there to reach out to. Thanks to everyone who posts here.

    Just had my first appointment with my RE this morning. I didn't realize how emotional it would feel to take this very first "real" step. I began to wonder if I was ready, even after a year+ of thinking and feeling my way to knowing this is right for me. I was affraid to face, I think, some lingerig feelings of personal "failure" in not finding "the one".

    Thankfully, as soon as I sat with the Dr. and met the staff, I felt calmed. I remembered to keep my mind focused on what I know about myself and on the joy I will be lucky enough to add to my life.

    In the next few weeks I'll have FSH, SIS and HSG test don't and hopefully be ready for my first IUI in October. :-)

    Very best of luck to all of you.
  • kndertchrkndertchr Posts: 33
    I just want to encourage all of my fellow teachers to KEEP TRYING because finally becoming a mother is the best feeling I have ever had. My little baby is now 2 months old and I am happier than I have been in my whole life. I spent years in therapy dealing with the fact that I was single with no kids and getting older and older. I finally decided to go for it on my own at this time last year. I have no regrets, wish I had decided this sooner, and wish that I were in my 20s and won the lottery so I could have more kids! No more therapy for me, I am totally happy and I don't even feel like I'm missing out on finding "the one". Good luck to you all!!!
  • tnctnc Posts: 85
    I want to support and encourage all my fellow single teachers. I am 8 months pregnant with my baby boy and was worried about how my church and coworkers would react about my choice to be a single mother. They have been incredibly supportive. I feel like all the time of worrying and fear were silly. Thank you all for being here. I am grateful for the shared experience when I was so scared. I can't wait to meet my son.
  • jmckenziejmckenzie Posts: 6
    Oh Yay! So glad to see I'm not alone! I thought I would have my first IUI this summer but it's been postponed until next summer. So for me, that meant another year to be nervous and fret about what to say at school and at church, where I work with 7-9 graders. I'll still worry, but it's so good to hear that others are sharing my experience!

    So, myomectomy this winter and IUI next summer (trying for an end of school year delivery) and so glad to hear others in my situation! Baby dust to all!
  • ClearcaClearca Posts: 1
    What a great thread! I'm feeling inspired by reading all of these posts! I'm a teacher and have been putting off doing this because I work with inner city middle/high schoolers and feel I should be a good role model for them. Besides that, I became a single mother at 23, my daughter is a teen now and has repeatedly asked to have a brother or sister. I've waited...and waited....and waited...and waited until now, she's 15 and told me that as much as she has loved our little family, a baby brother or sister would be the best thing I could give her. I have thought about it for the last six months and love the idea! I have thoroughly enjoyed being a mom; my daughter has been the greatest blessing in my life----I KNOW I can do this. However, like some of you, the small town issue, image issue.....I've actually considered surrogacy. After reading all of your posts, I'm considering just biting the bullet and doing it. I'll be 40 soon and know that time is of the essence. It is so scary....so scary...I love teaching with all my heart and feel safe to say I have helped so many children, loved so many children, I want to live the life that was meant for me! Good luck to all of you!

    I want to say this last thing: The coolest thing about all of us is that we are making life work for us, not waiting for things to happen. The best part of being a single mom, having a great child, learning to enjoy the cards dealt is that unlike many of my friends, I've learned to make things happen on my terms....I never got married because I haven't found the 'right' one for me. My life has been really good...yes, there were rough patches when I felt that it would be nice to have a partner around, but after seeing numerous failed relationships of friends, relatives, and families I've taught, women like us, who made a so-so choice in husbands just to have a family....believe me LIFE CAN BE GOOD AS A SINGLE-----I'm living proof!

    Baby dust to all of you....I'll be checking in religiously......wishing you all the best!
  • Steffi246Steffi246 Posts: 5
    I'm a single kinder teacher as well in a sort of conservative environment in Cali. I'm also the only single k teacher! I'm sick of waiting for Mr. Right! I am only starting to explore this option but my feelIng is I will tell those I trust. I won't sugar coat it. I will tell people it's really no ones business. I just have to convince my parents that I am really ready and can afford to do this. A big reason for all the teachers? Most people meet at work and there are not a lot of single male teachers :-( I am so glad there are others out there for encouragement! Best of luck to all!
  • kaylababykaylababy Posts: 71
    I too am a single teacher. I work in a school with a very large staff and there is always someone pregnant. It's hard to see that everyday. I had my 5th IUI 9 days ago. Fingers crossed!!! I would not at all be concerned about telling my co-workers that I'm pregnant. I know they will all be supportive. I can't think of a single person that I know that wouldn't be more than supportive. My 1st IUI was in July and I was so hoping it worked so that the baby would be born towards the end of the school year and I'd have my maternity leave and then go right into summer vacation. You know what they say about making God laugh? Make plans. Well it didn't work the 1st, 2nd, 3rd.... So now if this one worked I'll deliver right in the beginning of school. Ha ha!! It couldn't be a more inconvenient time but at this point I DON"T CARE!
    Good luck!!!
  • KarenRKarenR Posts: 105
    Hi Kayla. I am a teacher and gave birth in early October. It was fine. I go back in 2 weeks.
  • kaylababykaylababy Posts: 71
    OMG! I got a BFP on 5 HPTs. I guess it worked!
  • jaimecjaimec Posts: 329
    congrats kaylababy!!!
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