any single teachers out there?

poppyqueen

Hi! I just had my first IUI this afternoon, and I'm very excited. I'm also extremely nervous, because I'm a single, and currently not dating anyone. I teach at a high school, and rumors love to fly..... Any advice or experience that could help me?

KarenR

It seems we are ALL single teachers here! It's pretty funny!
Good luck to you, poppyqueen.
(I am having an IUI tomorrow! We'll be waiting together.)

nbound72

Karen - good luck tomorrow with your IUI. Lots of well wishes that everything turns out positive. :)

Yes, soooo many single teachers here. Maybe we just work with too many women. Hmmm...a new career?? LOL

Fingers are crossed for you poppyqueen.

teachertracys

hi girls :)
me too- teacher(4th grade) and IUI tomorrow. this will be my third, unmedicated. hope it takes as this will be my last one for awhile (b/c of $) i came home from school tonight (6pm!!) and tested. it was a smiley face. i was SOOOOO not expecting it today. i was NOT ready for this. my cycles are so unpredictable and about 5 weeks apart so it is early for a smiley. but i'll take it. good thing i tested, i almost didn't b/c i thought for sure it wouldn't be positive, it's too early. so now i need to make lesson plans for tomorrow and figure out what i am going to say. (i don't want to say i am getting the IUI in case it doesn't work.) but there are alot of curious- with good intentions- nosey-rosey people at school.

poppyqueen-
i wrote a thread on here, under single mothers category, named teachers. read some of those posts, maybe it will help. it's an uncomfortable situation- being a teacher, role model, and then possibly being pregnant.

well, looks like we are going to be in this round together. good luck poppyqueen and karenr- baby dust to us all!!!!

tracy:)

abbyjenna

Best of luck to all of you! Poppyqueen - you should check out the thread teachertracys mentioned. We're all in the same boat trying to figure out what to tell people. I'm going to the doc for my first ever visit on Thursday. Hoping they will do whatever it is that they do and will tell me I'm good to go for an IUI in October!

poppyqueen

Thanks, girls for the positive words! I am new to this, and I feel like I'm all alone in trying to figure out what to say to whom, can I lose my job for this, etc, etc.

I checked out the thread, and I have to say, I'm relieved to see that there are other women in my same predicament! Baby dust to us all, and my the wagging tongues be silent! And baby dust, baby dust, baby dust!!

(BTW, I had to explain to another teacher that I wasn't ill, but that I was leaving for a half day, and I think she expected to know what was going on with me. Sigh..... Lots of well-meaning people out there!)

abbyjenna

I'm fortunate enough to work with a wonderful staff, a few of whom know what I'm thinking about. They've been great. One even asked if she could come with me for the IUI (she has a strange fascination for medical things). I haven't told my administrators... not sure how that will go. I'm going to wait till things get rolling. When I have to start missing work, I'll think about telling the principal.

If any of you decide what to tell your students, I'd love to hear it!

nbound72

I feel very fortunate to work with such a wonderful group of women at my school. I'm very close to them and have told numerous people what I am doing. I'm very proud of it. (Not my first choice to do it alone, but very proud). When they found out my IVF didn't work the guidance counselor cried. I was so touched. I am glad that some of my close co-workers know. For example: I have to leave early this Friday for my post IVF. I was told to split my class and just sign out. If they didn't know, they might not be as sensitive to my needs and wonder why I'm taking all this time off. When I missed 3 days the first week, I told my students I had some minor surgery and that I was feeling much better. I then tell them I need to go back for some check ups. It's easy, the parents don't question all my time off and it's somewhat truthful. Lot's of well wishes for all of you going through IUI or in your tww.

LoriB

My first posting on a message board. I teach special education k-5, and am fortunate enough to work with a wonderful team of people. I chose to get a "feeler" for response before starting the process to eliminate extra stress, and everyone (including the principal) has been supportive. I live in a conservative, rural area and was overwhelmed to have people asking why it has taken me so long to make this decision, and how excited they are for me. IUI, natural cycle hopefully, 3rd try in 2 weeks, then a break for cash purposes.

abbyjenna

Best of luck, LoriB! I have just decided that I have to tell my principal. I finally went to the repro doc and learned about all the millions of tests and ultrasounds and 2 days of insemination for IUI... it's going to require a lot of half-days off. I thought about just telling her that I have some "medical stuff" but don't want her to worry. Hopefully she'll be understanding. I'll also have to explain to her that I totally realize that my doctoral work will have to be put on pause once a baby arrives. She'll probably think I'm crazy starting my Ed.D and trying to get pregnant at the same time - most people do :)

kamykami

Hello! I'm also a single teacher just starting this whole process. Glad to see I'm in good company!

GiftsofJoy

Add me to the list too. I will NOT be telling anyone other than my friends that I know I can trust. My administration isn't too friendly about pregnancies in my opinion. I pray for the best for all.

teachertracys

hi poppyqueen and karenr-
just wondering how you are doing after your IUI last week? i'm so grateful for school b/c it and the kids keep me busy that i don't think about it. i know it's early. i've been thinking about the big picture alot and i have been a bit boo-hooey. it doesn't help that we just found out my sister is pregnant with her second. for someone who never wanted kids- it's hard. i hope all went well for you. baby dust to us!!!

welcome kamykami and Giftsof Joy- what is it with the teacher thing? too funny. you are in good company :)
tracy

poppyqueen

Hi, ladies! If you count Tuesday, it's my sixth day since my IUI. I've been able to put it out of my mind for....well, maybe just while I'm in the middle of teaching. I'm just dying to know, and wanting to take a pregnancy test, but I know it's too early for that. I don't want to feel crushed if it's negative. I'm thinking about doing it Tuesday, though, because that will be seven days. Thoughts on this?

If it's not too much info, the day AFTER my IUI, I felt light-headed, and starting two days after, my breasts have been VERY sensitive / sore. I'm hoping that this is a GOOD sign!

I don't think I can bring myself to tell anyone at school....Besides two people, everyone else would start talking in the faculty lounge. It's frightening how much people love a good rumor there. And I heard another rumor that the principal gets annoyed when people get pregnant, because she has to deal with finding a replacement when the teachers go on maternity leave.

KarenR, best of luck to you! I think of you waiting, as well, and I hope we both get a positive in another week!!!

Baby dust to all of us teachers! Just think: 9 months from now is almost summer!

KarenR

Hi Poppyqueen and Tracy.
This IUI was rougher than the last. The sperm arrived a day late AND the nurse had a hard time getting the catheter in. (sorry if TMI)
I haven't been feeling great - I had a lot of back pain.
But, today was better and I am glad to be back at work!

I am wishing you all lots of babydust!!
:-)

abbyjenna

So I decided not to tell my principal today, as planned. Aparently she was recently kind of rude to a newly pregnant (unmarried) teacher and asked "are you going to get married?" in that snotty, "look at the example you're setting," kind of way.

SO... I have to tell her something, since this will aparently involve quite a bit of time running to doctor appointments. What do you guys think of "I'm having some tests done on my reproductive system and they're all kind of dependent on my cycle, so I'll probably be missing a bunch of half-days over the next few months?" I think it's enough info to not have her worry that there's something wrong with me, enough that she probably WON'T ask any questions, but not "I'm going to try to go get myself knocked up."

kndertchr

Hello fellow teachers! I am a 39 year old K teacher seriously considering doing this on my own too. I have my first appointment on Thursday to get started. Thankfully I live in a fairly liberal community in So Cal.

@ abbyjenna, I think what you are planning to say sounds good. To an administration, I don't think it's their business until you have to go on maternity leave, especially if they are your sick days that you have accumulated (I have 76 sick days!)

LoriB

abbyjenna- do what's best for you & good luck...my professional situation has been ideal for me. Since everything depends on your cycle, they really have no right to ask you about sick leave unless you miss multiple days in a row. Just saying you are having testing done (the kind shouldn't matter) should be enough. I also give one particular sub a head's up so that my students usually have the same person.

kndertchr- best wishes, I'm 39 also.

teachertracys

hi poppyqueen and karenr-
how are you feeling? any news? just curious- if you want to share. we got our IUIs done around the same time. trying to stay positive but starting to feel like AF is coming :( been very tired, my back has hurt more so this time. i will wait to test- don't want to disappoint myself further- if AF comes... if not, then i'll test.

if it's not positive, i am feeling more anger at myself than disappointment. i did what i could here- with the IUIs and stuff. but why did i wait so long? what could i have done differently- maybe in the guy dept and i wouldn't be here? if it's not positive, i am done for now. need to work more and save some more money. i may switch to a new donor. how many times should i try with the same donor? what if it's not the best sample?

abbyjenna

Just wanted to update everyone... I told my principal the other day. I ended up telling her everything, because the conversation was going so well. She got a big smile on her face, told me how great she thought that was, asked a few questions, and said she completely understood what I was doing and why. Gotta love a surprise once in a while.

Now I just have to get through all the initial testing and get to the IUI already!

nbound72

Glad your conversation went so well with your principal. It will make this process a little easier. When do you think your IUI will be?

abbyjenna

I don't know. My period should be starting tomorrow or Tuesday, and then I can schedule the HSG and sono. They saw a fibroid during the first ultrasound, so I have to see if it can stay or has to go. I'm hoping to do my first IUI with my next cycle (since I'm pretty sure it will be too late to do it with this one). So November, I guess?

poppyqueen

Hi, Tracy! I have to say that my first IUI resulted in....my period. I just got it this evening. I tried to tell myself that maybe it was the spotting from an implanting embryo, but, no, I'm pretty sure I'm going to be on Day 1 again tomorrow. Sigh..... You know, I was just reading online about not STRESSING, how that can be more harmful than anything when trying to get pregnant, but how can we NOT stress? I'm putting everything on the line for this--of course it's a source of stress.

I hope that you get a positive result, though!! I'm giving myself another two tries, then I'll take a break until May, because I also want to time everything well, you know what I mean?

You can't feel angry with yourself. Everyone has their own paths in life, and you are are the course that is yours, no one else's. You waited for a reason, and you can't look back. I think you are doing a wonderful thing. What if you found your Mister Right, but what if he were infertile? I mean, you never, ever know what hand life will deal you.

In my initial consult with the doctor, she said if I didn't conceive within three times with one donor, I might want to try another one. So that's what I'm going to do.

And, I was wondering--besides laying down for 20 minutes, are there any other things we can do? I mean, the specimen is already in the cervix, isn't it? Just time for baby magic to happen. And I'm going to have to work on not stressing, but considering that I'm type A to the core, that's easier said then done.

Hope it goes well for you!!!!!!

aicargsam

Another teacher!(high school, spanish) I am 39 too. I had my first iui sep.4 and guess what? I am pregnant. About testing before your blood test to find out if you are pregnant, must be done 4 days before your spected menstrual period. If done before, will be negative. I used 1 first Response pregnancy test and tested myself 8 days after my iui. Results were negative. I tested again 3 days before my period and was positive. Last Saturday I had a blood test AT the dotor's office and waos positive too.

About telling people about your artificial insemination, is your choice to tell. I will not tell anybory. I do not want any negative comments. Some people are not yet prepared for these things.

teachertracys

hi poppyqueen-
well another BFN! i didn't take a pregnancy test, didn't have too. so sad. i am so busy during the day and have a ton of things on my mind, it hits me when i'm home alone. i've cried myself to sleep since sunday. this was it, my last try. i used the same donor on this 3rd time and posted a thread recently actually asking the question when to switch donors.

i guess the money i will save on IUIs (actually not b/c it's not covered) i can use for therapy. how do i live this life without children and without being a mom? i just can't accept that this is how my life is supposed to be :( i was born and raised catholic and now find myself losing faith. i hear all the time- God doesn't put a dream in your heart without following through. i know i should trust and have faith but it is SOOOO hard (esp knowing that if I were to get pregnant, the baby is not accepted into the church b/c of how it was conceived- ridiculous!)

i will still read the posts but will not reply. i will take a break. good luck to all of you- i pray for you- strength to continue this process and a fabulous end result. thank you all for your insight, strength, and support! baby dust to all of you!!!

poppyqueen

Hi, Tracy! I wrote a really long post yesterday, but it apparently never went up. I wanted to say that I think you are doing the right thing, and I don't think you should be mad at yourself, even if you aren't pregnant. You can't change anything about the past, and if you did so, you wouldn't be who you are today, which is a great mom-to-be!

I'm hoping that your IUI will end very POSITIVELY! Mine didn't, which I just realized yesterday. I'm kind of cranky, but trying to think about how I will NOT stress, and how maybe that had something to do with it. But how can we not stress, when we are pumping $1000 into us, at a pop? Of COURSE we are vested and stressed! Any thoughts on this? How to be relaxed and get pregnant???

Wishing you the best!
poppyqueen

poppyqueen

Oh, gosh, Tracy, I just read your post. I'm sooooo sorry that it wasn't positive! I would really, really encourage you to save money when you can and try again. You know in your heart that you are supposed to be a mother! I hope that something works out for you, bcs my heart breaks for you and for everyone who doesn't get pregnant who feels that drive. I know you aren't replying, but I'm going to pray that there is a way to make it happen for you! You've given me lots of encouragement from your posts, and I hope maybe you can still make it happen.

The other option is: settling for a baby, which so many of my friends have done. Not for love, but for the baby. What's the difference, if you end up divorced three years later, anyway? Grrrr.....it all seems so unfair!

nbound72

My thoughts are with you Tracy. I hope you stay active on this site. I've really enjoyed your posts and us single girls need ya. The cost of doing this alone is absurd. It makes it that much harder for us. Save, save so we can hear good news from you soon. :)

Susan

Jennifer999

Another single teacher here! Just finished my first 2WW after an ICI (BFN... sad face) and trying to decide whether to try again next month or save my money for IUI next summer (to accommodate the school schedule of course!)

Tracy, I can so relate to your dilemma... you wait for God to answer your prayers and he doesn't, then you try taking matters into your own hands and it still doesn't work! Sending good thoughts your way!

KarenR

Hi everyone.

My test was also a BFN today. I am very bummed as well, but I will be trying again next cycle.

Tracey - I am so sorry you are so down now.
Have you looked into grants? I know there a lot of grants out there for IVF. My friend is using one.

Please don't give up. There is always adoption, foster parenting, and the chance to save money and try again. I think there are also Christian organizations that give money for adoption.

We are all here with you.

love to all.

tnc

Hi Everyone,
Wishing all of you baby dust.
Tracey- You are in my prayers.

I am on cd9 after 7.5 mg of femera. I am trying very hard not to stress out. I have my u/s on Monday, my official observation on Tuesday 1st period, and another doctor's appointment on Wednesday. I may have my first iui this coming week. This is also the end of the grading period. Very Bad Timing. Need prayers as I am worried about the timing of all of this. Thanks for the support.