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Second guessing and doubting myself
mommy87
Posts: 103
How do you stop doubting yourself? The last couple of days, I have been thinking all day and even dreaming about it at night. Can I do this. All of a sudden these fears are creeping up on me. Just 4 questions always come into my mind.
1. Can I do this by myself?
2. Will I be a good mom?
3. What if I fail at the most important role that I'll ever have?
4. What if I fail at being a mom?
How do you know? My heart is screaming. You can do this! I've been wanting this for so long. But my head is screaming STOP!! Do I listen to my head or my heart? Help!!!
1. Can I do this by myself?
2. Will I be a good mom?
3. What if I fail at the most important role that I'll ever have?
4. What if I fail at being a mom?
How do you know? My heart is screaming. You can do this! I've been wanting this for so long. But my head is screaming STOP!! Do I listen to my head or my heart? Help!!!
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wannabeamommy87@yahoo.com please email me.
i worry too- probably think and overanalyze too much about this. you will be a great mom! just the fact that we want to do this, let alone as a single mother by choice demonstrates your love, concern, compassion, and support for this baby before (s)he is here. my worry is providing for the baby- financially. we all want better for our kids than we had ourselves and if you just keep in mind- and keep telling yourself (which i need to do)you are ahead of the game. i am a teacher and see kids who don't have what we can give them from 2 parents, maybe more (stepparents). it will all work out! don't give up- hang in there.
if you want to talk, i would be happy too also. i've been looking for someone to talk to and it's hard to find. i'm 38 (saturday i'll be 39) and am in my second TWW. i'm in ohio.
I feel like the message boards are a wonderful tool but sometimes it would be great to connect with people the "old-fashioned" way. I'm 37 will be 38 in Nov. and going through this as a single soon to be mom too. Please let me know if you or anyone else who reads these discussions want to create a phone list for when we are really needing to chat or text.
I'm a teacher also. Going back next week. Can't believe summer vacation is coming to an end but it means my IVF is closer. I think early Sept.
For those interested my cell is (954)675-1936
Susan
It means two week wait. Which is the time after being inseminated and the time you can take a pregnancy test.
i tried to email you and it was returned undeliverable. is the email address you have listed above still active? i would like to email you and chat :)
tracy
I had my donor chosen and I backed out last year...now I'm back because I'm 38 and I can't wait anymore.
I would love to be added to this list:
msdizzydolores@ymail.com
I'm trying not to talk myself out of this again.
Didn't think Aunt Flo was coming and I got scared...she's trying to peek through today YIPEE!
I just wanted to say hello to all of you. I've been reading through your string of posts and it's felt great seeing other women with exactly the same doubts as me. I'm 38 and can hardly believe I'm going down this path to motherhood. I've finished all my initial testing at the RE and I'm ready to go, whenever I'm ready. I waited awhile on purchasing vials only to find my donor had sold out -- I recently purchased from another one though (who ironically, had been my first choice but bumped to second at the beginning -- guess he was always the one meant for me to use).
Anyways, I've found myself in this weird (or maybe not so much) place of all of a sudden really doubting this decision, doubting myself, etc, etc. Obviouly nothing different than I'm sure others have felt this close to the start line.
I would love to keep in touch with you guys.
i'm curious- what has now made you ready? why did you wait? i'm wondering now if my doubt is really regret although i've never doubted b/c i know i can do it. i just finished my 2nd unmedicated IUI w/a BFN :( i am only going to try one more time- that's all i can afford. when i get in my sad moment, i don't feel doubt but regret- why did i wait so long? b/c now my reality may be that i may not be a mom.i just don't have the $ and i'm not going into debt esp if i have nothing to show for it. just curious as to your reasons if you wanted to share.
I have been reading the posts and I agree I have wanted to be a mommy forever and now I'm so nervous.I'm singl will have my mom to talk to but you need other women you can relate to. So I would love to keep in touch with anyone...
But when I really start dwelling on it - those same fears crop up. Can I really do this alone? Can I really afford this?
I think I can. And I think I'll figure this out as I go. And I think we're all in the same boat! A friend of mine who is recently divorced and a newly single mom of two was telling me the other day how crazy she thinks I am. But my thought is that she was used to having help, and now it's gone. Being a single mom will be the only thing I will know from the start. So I'll be figuring it out from day one. Like the rest of you.
I think we can all do this. Yay for us!
I have been calling different doctors and asking them questions to get to know them. I tell them I want to be a single mom by choice and I don't have health insurance through work because my work doesn't cover it. ( I make just under the legal budget). So I would be paying for everything out of pocket. I have had every single person I have talked with ask me if I plan on getting on WIC (medical card) once I'm pregnant? Whats up with that? I don't understand? Why do they tell me this? Do they think I don't make enough money to be able to support a baby? I don't get it? Then there is the other people who say if I can afford to be Artificially Inseminated then I should be able to afford to support a child on my own! Why would they tell me this if I could or couldn't do it? Is there anything wrong with being on WIC? I don't really know that much about it except it helps give babies the extra nutrition they need. They have confused me even more. Can anyone help me? Is being on WIC (medicaid) really bad?
Out of the large support network I have, I had 1 friend (ex-friend) wh was very negative about my choice. She is a married, mother of 2. She asked me, "Do you know how hard raising kids are?" I said yes I do and did she know how hard it would be as a married woman who's husband works and is never home?
The bottom line is, raising children is hard. VERY hard. Whether you're married, divorced, widowed, single...
The most important thing is having a support system and using your resources. Don't be a martar and not ask for help.
Just because we are in the "single" category, doesn't mean we want kids any less than those fortunate enough to fine their soulmates. (Some even married just to have kids)
GO FOR IT!!!! Let's think, how many women have deadbeat husbands who don't help at all?
Of course it's going to change my life. Of course it's going to be hard. But up till now I've done pretty much everything on my own - why stop now? And I do have a fantastic support system and a whole pile of friends who owe me babysitting!
I've got a preconception appointment at the birth center and an appointment with the repro doctor a week from today. Hoping they tell me all is well with all my parts so I can get started soon. Finally picked a donor last night and I want to buy!
You can do whatever you put your mind to.
I think it's normal to have doubts. Parenthood is a huge responsibility that shouldn't be taken lightly. I backed out the first time at 35 and took 9 months to think about it. I had the same I was miserable.
I finally did it in April 09 and have a beautiful 8 month old daughter I haven't slept since December, but it is worth it. You have to follow your heart. It's tough doing it alone, but if you surround yourself with a loving support system you can figure it out. By the way, my married friends find it tough with 2.