HI gals, I am a 38 year old, single woman going for it via IUI as well! I just had my 7th IUI today. I started a blog not too long ago, about my experiences so far. The goal is so that women out there like me might find it and feel less alone and also learn some of the things that I wish I knew about when I began my journey! Here's the link for more info: http://nestinginla.com/my-aim-is-true/ :)
I am so happy ... and relieved to have found women in similar situations. I am 38 soon to be 39. I was married, divorced, and have always wanted little ankle biters. :) as my mom puts it. It was actually the advice of my psychologist to go thru fertility treatment. As it turns out, I am fertility challenged, as I like to say. Ovaries work, uterus works, the connection is bad. :( so my journey is slightly different. Although I started down this road as a single mother by choice, my initial thought and has continued to use a donor and just knock myself up. :)
I currently live in MA, orginally from Philly .... shout out to Jenn Jersey Girl :)) and apparently, IVF anf fertility is huge up here. One of the doctors I work with actually successfully went through IVF and has a set of very healthy and active twins. Another doctor I work with has been so increadible supportive and actually told me that for some reason...Mass. is one of the best states where insurance covers a significant amount of fertility treatments. So, backtracking a bit .... I was married, documented fertility problems I.e. we tried and nothing ever happened, I am an older female...not in my 20's, and just this year found out about the bad connection so yes, technically after all of this I found out that I am fertility challenged. But I am still choosing to be a mom. And it turns out that because of my history, insuranceis covering most of it. I say most because there are some things they won't cover or cover all or most of it. I did have to pay a little forthe genetics testing and during my "prep" phase I had to pay the hospital $1500 to have the polyps removed before starting fertility treatments. But my child/ren will be fully aware of how much I really wanted them and all I went thru to bring them into this world. P.s. I start my fertility cycle this week...today actually will be my first injection. Scared? Hell yeah!!!! I've been on my own most of my life so I couldn't give 2 shits what people say or think. Its my life. If they want to support me great! If not, I'll go find someone who will....like you lovely ladies. :)) Sorry so long. Can u tell its been building??? Lol I wish you all the luck and health on this veryamazing journey. Definately keep up this post. We all need a support system.
Good luck on your journey to becoming a mom!! It really is a crazy/fun journey! I'm about 16 weeks now and have spread the word at work about my pregnancy and have been getting positive feed back :) while not everyone knows I went through a donor those that do are really supportive :) Philly is an awesome town! One of my favs :)
Hi. I'm Christy. I am single and almost 35. I decided to become a single mother by choice on my last birthday knowing that a man may not shown up and do this for me. Well not in time anyway. My doctor found that my FSH levels were 10.9. This means that the quality and/or quantity of my eggs are starting to decline early. I had my first IUI last month... after many months of testing and monitoring and jumping through hoops.(and wasting time=eggs) Phew. I had my second IUI 2 days ago. I'll check back with results. I don't know anyone else who has done this. Because I'm single my insurance doesn't pay for anything. It has cost about $2,300 per IUI. I've had a lot of support but I've also been like a train 'get on board or get out of my way.'
I am in Northern NJ and would really like to find a support group if anyone is from the area.
I am about to turn 40 and am just starting on this journey on my own. Reading all of this really helps to know there is support out there! I am still deciding on a donor- it's almost overwhelming as my dr wants to start right away- picking a donor is a big decision! Did any of you have supprt in picking a donor or do it on your own?
Hello, I am not sure where everyone lives, but I am the contact person for SMC in Westchester County, NY.
We have a bunch of women that meet monthly, some with children. We also have a few members that are new and are thinking or in the process of trying to get pregnant. This has become a great support group.
If anyone is interested on getting on our email list, please email me at Mickey468@aol.com.
I'm just starting down this road myself. I am a 38 yr old hopeful mom to be by choice. I have my donor sperm all ordered and am waiting for my opk to say I've reached peak fertility. I'm really hoping that I can achieve a pregnancy with just IUI in a very few tries. I'm excited and nervous since I don't know what to expect. It's expensive and time consuming, but very worth it if the desired outcome can be reached. My dr doesn't seem to think that I should have any trouble with fertility, and so we are doing natural cycles right now. Has anyone else done natural IUI and obtained a positive result?
I am 31 but I am more than ready to be a mother. My family has been relatively supportive but I come from a batch who make the ladies of '16 and pregnant' look conservative. My mom has really been supportive and she is my joy in this and everything else.
I don't see the logic in buying more than one vial at a time. I really can't afford it. My insurance pays for everything except donor sperm and washing the sperm. In total each IUI attempt will cost about $1200. I will pay and try as I go. And I'm using gonal-f with trigger then progesterone. My first cycle and attempt will be in the month of Dec 14.
Hi! I am 38 and single and on this journey to be a single mom by choice. I've gone through one unsuccessful IUI but hoping my next one will be positive. I can't afford to do a lot of rounds but I've set my limit and know that I at least tried and did all I could to get a baby. My family and friends are very supportive and involved, sometimes a little too much, but it's great having them around. I don't personally know other women who have gone through this so it's great to hear your stories.
My name is Michelle and I am a 41 year old single mom. It took me 5 tries to have my baby boy. He is now 1 year old and the love of my life. I am now trying to get pregnant again so he can have a sibling. I bought 10 vials total because I knew I wanted 2 kids and wanted them to be full siblings.
EVERYONE that I have talked to has been totally supportive of this decision. My parents, my religious and ultra-conservative relatives, friends, co-workers all have been supportive. The truth is, even if they weren't, nothing would have stopped me.
The one thing I am told over and over is how courageous I am for doing this. I think that is how most people view single moms like all of us who are on this journey. It's a fabulous and fantastic journey! Hard and fulfilling all at once.
Money may be an issue, but what you get in return is priceless! (ya I know, that sounds cheezy, but it's so true!) The unconditional love that came out is nothing like I have ever experienced before.
I am sad to hear about mamas here who are not supported, or who were not supported when they were trying. It takes so much courage to go against social norms and many people may not understand. Just do what you feel in your heart is the right thing to do.
Hi, I see it's been a while since anyone posted. I'm 41 and have been considering IUI for almost a year. I went for an egg freezing consultation last December and found out that my egg reserve was too low for it to be cost effective, so after a weekend of grieving I decided with the help of a colleague/friend to just go for it. I want a baby now, and Mr. Right hasn't come along for me either. I can wait for him till I'm 50, but my eggs can't wait that long! I have had a couple of hurdles, however: I had a medical workup to go through, including a D and C due to a polyp, and I also carry 2 genetic mutations, so that means my donor will have to be tested,, which means more time and expense....so there's been a lot of planning, hemming and hawing, friends warning me about how difficult this will be...and that set me back a few months, because I missed a large window of time in the summer when things were quiet, due to self doubt. Now I'm ready time-wise, but I'm wondering if these roadblocks are 'signs' that this isn't meant to be. But my gut tells me not to give up, and so all of a sudden I noticed this forum (I've been a member of this site for a while now). thanks for your inspirational stories, it definitely gives me hope.
hi michelle, i didn't notice the latest posts and thought the first page was the newest...your story is very inspirational, thanks for sharing. i may be from a similar type of community as you, and i'm also not so worried about their reaction. it's more about 'can i handle this alone?' but it seems that you're doing it really well!
Hello, I'm beginning the single mom venture as a single lesbian woman...my lifelong dream has been to have children and after failed relationships, I've come to the realization that I can do it alone. Looking to connect with others in my situation :)
I'm currently in the same situation as you. I'm a (mostly) single lesbian who has decided to go through this process by myself. I'm currently in my two week wait with donor 13913. My friends are really supportive (almost as excited as me, I think), and I think my family will be as well.
Although I have a great support system, this experience can be very isolating. I have been reading a great blog lately that makes me feel less alone. It is https://solomamalife.wordpress.com if you are interested.
I'm 35 and told myself after my divorce almost two years ago that I would try to have a baby on my own once I turned 35 if I wasn't in serious relationship. When i turned 35 in August, I had been dating someone for a year, which lead to our engagement a month ago.
I visited a fertility specialist in October "just to see" how healthy I was to have babies - my FSH was over 16! I was devastated that my chance of conceiving my own child was practically zero. Doctor recommended trying for kids now for one round of fertility shots and IUI then I should look at donor eggs. Even with fertility shots, my chance of pregnancy is 5%. Discussions about the urgency of my situation with my fiance and my ultimate decision to try to have kids with or without him lead to the end of our relationship/engagement, which i don't feel sad about, only relieved. A gracious gift from God that he saved me from marrying that man. For me, a broken engagement is a walk in the park compared to another broken marriage!
I start my first (and only) round of fertility shots next week. I am thrilled beyond belief that I'm doing this and I'm so happy to have found this forum filled with other woman going through the same situation.
Hi ladies! It's great to read so many of your stories. I'm currently in my tww following my 2nd iui. I originally bought one vial for my first IUI because I felt I was settling. The donor fit *most* of my criteria (more so than others) but not all. Then during that first cycle a new donor popped up that just seemed perfect. I had no doubts. So after I got a BFN I bought just one of his vials for my 2nd iui (had to check his counts) then once I got home from that iui I purchased a few more to put in storage. if this try is successful I'll have vials saved for my next child and if not then I'll use those to try a few more times.
I'm currently doing natural cycles and I'm *crossing fingers* hoping it'll work. I'm not sure how many tries my RE will let me do before suggesting I try hormones.
I'm so glad I found this post. I'm 39 and about to embark on this journey. Finally picked a donor. I too have been unlucky in love and waiting for Mr Right, but I'm not getting any younger.
I started this process when my ex and I tried to get pregnant for a year with no luck. Found out it was due to endometriosis. My scar tissue was so bad, my bowels were starting to fuse. He went off boot camp, so my dr placed me on Lupron shots. Ex came back and we broke up. So I've switched to depo shots and have been in a menopause mode since. That was July of 2012.
I wish I knew about freezing eggs when I was younger. You just don't think this is the path you're going to be taking.
Baby dust for all of us on this journey. Positive thoughts.
Hello fellow single moms by choice, I'm a 43 year old first time mom. In the summer of 2013 I tried IUI for the first time. Like many of you I was waiting for an exceptional man to be my husband, but those are few and far between. By 42 yo, if I was to be a mother, it was going to have to be without the man. After reading everyone's posts, I now understand what a miracle it was that I got pregnant on the first try. My son was born March of 2014. But here's the kicker: he was born with chronic kidney disease. I was asked 3 times, by 3 different doctors if I wanted to terminate the pregnancy, but you all know how incredulous that sounds after a journey like ours. It has not been easy, and he will need a transplant (most likely my kidney) doctors say by fall, 2015. My family has been incredibly supportive and literally saved our lives by stepping up to be my help in this time. I've had to give up my job so I can care for my son 24 hours a day. He takes 12 different medications, has had 3 surgeries and he's only 8 months old. But he is a fighter- Grandpa calls him, "Toughie" and I can't imagine my life without him now. There were some very dark days during the pregnancy and after, when he was in the NICU, and there will be challenges, but even still, I encourage any woman with the dream of being a mother, to do whatever it takes. There is no greater calling. Blessings to you all! Jenny
I became a single mom at age 40 in November, 2013. I had no fertility issues, but 5 iui attempts were unsuccessful. I decided to throw all my resources into one IVF attempt, which brought me my daughter. I have, by choice, been single pretty much my entire life. However, I finally admitted to myself that I wanted to be a mom. It was very hard to tell friends and family, but there were very few concerns. Mostly, everyone was supportive and excited for me. Friends went to birthing classes and were there for the delivery. It is not easy by any stretch, but my daughter and I are in this together and enjoying every day! We are in the Sacramento, CA area.
Hi, I am a currently pregnant with my first child and going to be a single mother by choice. I too wanted to connect with other women regarding this hence I started a blog to help tell my story and start a community for it. Feel free to check it out or reach out or join my forum to chat there as well. I am thrilled and can't wait to meet my little guy. Wish all of you success. I believe this is the best decision i have ever made. nowwhatpregnant.com
Happy Holidays ladies! Since I started this post, I've had 2 failed IUI's - both natural cycles. I was going to wait until 2015 to try again but I couldn't wait that long so I will have my 3rd IUI on December 30th. This time I'm trying a Clomid/HCG injection cycle. Money is becoming a huge issue and my credit cards are just about exhausted. I'm trying not to think about "what will be next" and just focus on this round working. I switched back to my original donor of 13246. I'm also doing weekly acupuncture. I'll basically try anything I can. It's nice to read these posts and hear about so many women that are right there with me. Baby dust to all and happy holidays! Kelly
Sweettheartt - I just noticed your question. The donor I first went with was 13682 and his count was actually a lot higher than the second donor (I can't remember exact counts at the moment). The second donor is 13951 and he just fits my *ideal* donor better.
I'm actually getting ready to start my third iui and it should fall somewhere around the New Years. I'm doing a natural cycle and the idea of starting 2015 off with a successful IUI excites me but I'm also wondering if I should wait until next cycle incase it actually falls on January 1st and I have to call my doctor in on her day off.
What do you ladies think? Should I start the year off with a bang or wait till next cycle?
Thanks for the answer Hopeful, I always like to see the different choices people make. I personally took off December because of lab issues and the office closing.
I'm so exited to see all of the activity here and to connect with you all. I'm going to check out the blogs mentioned as well. I'm in the middle of my 3rd IUI cycle and am planning an IUI on or around 12/31. Im on Letrozole for this cycle. It is my first time on Letrozole as my last 2 were clomid cycles. Im hopeful that this will be the one that works! Anyone else planning an IUI next week? Let's support each other through the TWW. Merry Christmas and baby dust to all!
I'm 38 years old and planning my first IUI in January 2015. Like many of you, I just haven't found the right one. I asked a friend to be my donor but things got more complicated than I expected, so I opted to go with an open ID donor instead.
I'm in NJ and would love to connect with other SMBCs (single mother by choice) in the area for meet-ups, outings and good ol' support. I've created an email account to connect: babblesbaublesbaby@gmail.com.
I decided to become a single mom by choice about 2 years ago. At 42, I had always wanted children and my boyfriend at the time was not sure about wanting kids. He passed away unexpectedly and I decided if I wanted to become a mom it was something I had to do on my own. I was successful on my 3rd IUI attempt, and gave birth to a beautiful baby girl 3 weeks ago. I had a lot of support from my family and friends, a lot of questions of who's the father and a lot of support from people who were so glad that I followed my dreams. While I would love to find someone to share our life with us, I'm so happy I was able to start a family on my own. It has been an experience like no other and am so thrilled at the direction my life is taking. Good luck to you!
I am also a single mother by choice. I am 28 years old and I have always planned to have a baby by myself. The journey so far has been tough, got pregnant on my 5th IUI and sadly resulted in a chemical pregnancy. Looking into my 6th IUI next month. At what point do you ladies recommend trying IVF vs IUI? My insurance does not cover anything so 100% is out of pocket.
I am single and also chose to do IUI with a sperm donor. I now have a beautiful baby girl who will be five months old in January.
She is amazing and a wonderfully good natured baby. Those close to me have also been very supportive. I do not know anyone else doing what I have done, but I wouldn't change my decision for the world.
What did surprise me is the support and positive reinforcement from people I didn't even know and how many people had serious questions about the process.
I now have my beautiful baby girl and this is the best thing I have ever done.
I had my third IUI done yesterday and now begin the process of the long 2 week wait. I developed 3 good follicles from Letrazole and my donors specimen had a great count of 40 million with great motility so I am very hopeful and optimistic. Anybody else in their 2 week wait?
Comments
http://nestinginla.com/my-aim-is-true/ :)
I am so happy ... and relieved to have found women in similar situations. I am 38 soon to be 39. I was married, divorced, and have always wanted little ankle biters. :) as my mom puts it. It was actually the advice of my psychologist to go thru fertility treatment. As it turns out, I am fertility challenged, as I like to say. Ovaries work, uterus works, the connection is bad. :( so my journey is slightly different. Although I started down this road as a single mother by choice, my initial thought and has continued to use a donor and just knock myself up. :)
I currently live in MA, orginally from Philly .... shout out to Jenn Jersey Girl :)) and apparently, IVF anf fertility is huge up here. One of the doctors I work with actually successfully went through IVF and has a set of very healthy and active twins. Another doctor I work with has been so increadible supportive and actually told me that for some reason...Mass. is one of the best states where insurance covers a significant amount of fertility treatments. So, backtracking a bit .... I was married, documented fertility problems I.e. we tried and nothing ever happened, I am an older female...not in my 20's, and just this year found out about the bad connection so yes, technically after all of this I found out that I am fertility challenged. But I am still choosing to be a mom. And it turns out that because of my history, insuranceis covering most of it. I say most because there are some things they won't cover or cover all or most of it. I did have to pay a little forthe genetics testing and during my "prep" phase I had to pay the hospital $1500 to have the polyps removed before starting fertility treatments. But my child/ren will be fully aware of how much I really wanted them and all I went thru to bring them into this world. P.s. I start my fertility cycle this week...today actually will be my first injection. Scared? Hell yeah!!!! I've been on my own most of my life so I couldn't give 2 shits what people say or think. Its my life. If they want to support me great! If not, I'll go find someone who will....like you lovely ladies. :)) Sorry so long. Can u tell its been building??? Lol I wish you all the luck and health on this veryamazing journey. Definately keep up this post. We all need a support system.
Aime'e
Good luck on your journey to becoming a mom!! It really is a crazy/fun journey! I'm about 16 weeks now and have spread the word at work about my pregnancy and have been getting positive feed back :) while not everyone knows I went through a donor those that do are really supportive :) Philly is an awesome town! One of my favs :)
Jenn
I am in Northern NJ and would really like to find a support group if anyone is from the area.
We have a bunch of women that meet monthly, some with children. We also have a few members that are new and are thinking or in the process of trying to get pregnant. This has become a great support group.
If anyone is interested on getting on our email list, please email me at Mickey468@aol.com.
Tammy
I am 31 but I am more than ready to be a mother. My family has been relatively supportive but I come from a batch who make the ladies of '16 and pregnant' look conservative. My mom has really been supportive and she is my joy in this and everything else.
I don't see the logic in buying more than one vial at a time. I really can't afford it. My insurance pays for everything except donor sperm and washing the sperm. In total each IUI attempt will cost about $1200. I will pay and try as I go. And I'm using gonal-f with trigger then progesterone. My first cycle and attempt will be in the month of Dec 14.
I'm in the Fort Bragg, NC area.
Best and BD,
Belle
My name is Michelle and I am a 41 year old single mom. It took me 5 tries to have my baby boy. He is now 1 year old and the love of my life. I am now trying to get pregnant again so he can have a sibling. I bought 10 vials total because I knew I wanted 2 kids and wanted them to be full siblings.
EVERYONE that I have talked to has been totally supportive of this decision. My parents, my religious and ultra-conservative relatives, friends, co-workers all have been supportive. The truth is, even if they weren't, nothing would have stopped me.
The one thing I am told over and over is how courageous I am for doing this. I think that is how most people view single moms like all of us who are on this journey. It's a fabulous and fantastic journey! Hard and fulfilling all at once.
Money may be an issue, but what you get in return is priceless! (ya I know, that sounds cheezy, but it's so true!) The unconditional love that came out is nothing like I have ever experienced before.
I am sad to hear about mamas here who are not supported, or who were not supported when they were trying. It takes so much courage to go against social norms and many people may not understand. Just do what you feel in your heart is the right thing to do.
I'm beginning the single mom venture as a single lesbian woman...my lifelong dream has been to have children and after failed relationships, I've come to the realization that I can do it alone. Looking to connect with others in my situation :)
I'm currently in the same situation as you. I'm a (mostly) single lesbian who has decided to go through this process by myself. I'm currently in my two week wait with donor 13913. My friends are really supportive (almost as excited as me, I think), and I think my family will be as well.
Although I have a great support system, this experience can be very isolating. I have been reading a great blog lately that makes me feel less alone. It is https://solomamalife.wordpress.com if you are interested.
Good luck!
Jenny
I visited a fertility specialist in October "just to see" how healthy I was to have babies - my FSH was over 16! I was devastated that my chance of conceiving my own child was practically zero. Doctor recommended trying for kids now for one round of fertility shots and IUI then I should look at donor eggs. Even with fertility shots, my chance of pregnancy is 5%. Discussions about the urgency of my situation with my fiance and my ultimate decision to try to have kids with or without him lead to the end of our relationship/engagement, which i don't feel sad about, only relieved. A gracious gift from God that he saved me from marrying that man. For me, a broken engagement is a walk in the park compared to another broken marriage!
I start my first (and only) round of fertility shots next week. I am thrilled beyond belief that I'm doing this and I'm so happy to have found this forum filled with other woman going through the same situation.
I'm currently doing natural cycles and I'm *crossing fingers* hoping it'll work. I'm not sure how many tries my RE will let me do before suggesting I try hormones.
I started this process when my ex and I tried to get pregnant for a year with no luck. Found out it was due to endometriosis.
My scar tissue was so bad, my bowels were starting to fuse. He went off boot camp, so my dr placed me on Lupron shots. Ex came back and we broke up. So I've switched to depo shots and have been in a menopause mode since. That was July of 2012.
I wish I knew about freezing eggs when I was younger. You just don't think this is the path you're going to be taking.
Baby dust for all of us on this journey. Positive thoughts.
I'm a 43 year old first time mom. In the summer of 2013 I tried IUI for the first time. Like many of you I was waiting for an exceptional man to be my husband, but those are few and far between. By 42 yo, if I was to be a mother, it was going to have to be without the man.
After reading everyone's posts, I now understand what a miracle it was that I got pregnant on the first try. My son was born March of 2014. But here's the kicker: he was born with chronic kidney disease. I was asked 3 times, by 3 different doctors if I wanted to terminate the pregnancy, but you all know how incredulous that sounds after a journey like ours.
It has not been easy, and he will need a transplant (most likely my kidney) doctors say by fall, 2015. My family has been incredibly supportive and literally saved our lives by stepping up to be my help in this time. I've had to give up my job so I can care for my son 24 hours a day. He takes 12 different medications, has had 3 surgeries and he's only 8 months old. But he is a fighter- Grandpa calls him, "Toughie" and I can't imagine my life without him now. There were some very dark days during the pregnancy and after, when he was in the NICU, and there will be challenges, but even still, I encourage any woman with the dream of being a mother, to do whatever it takes. There is no greater calling.
Blessings to you all!
Jenny
I became a single mom at age 40 in November, 2013. I had no fertility issues, but 5 iui attempts were unsuccessful. I decided to throw all my resources into one IVF attempt, which brought me my daughter. I have, by choice, been single pretty much my entire life. However, I finally admitted to myself that I wanted to be a mom. It was very hard to tell friends and family, but there were very few concerns. Mostly, everyone was supportive and excited for me. Friends went to birthing classes and were there for the delivery.
It is not easy by any stretch, but my daughter and I are in this together and enjoying every day!
We are in the Sacramento, CA area.
nowwhatpregnant.com
Kelly
I'm actually getting ready to start my third iui and it should fall somewhere around the New Years. I'm doing a natural cycle and the idea of starting 2015 off with a successful IUI excites me but I'm also wondering if I should wait until next cycle incase it actually falls on January 1st and I have to call my doctor in on her day off.
What do you ladies think? Should I start the year off with a bang or wait till next cycle?
I'm so exited to see all of the activity here and to connect with you all. I'm going to check out the blogs mentioned as well. I'm in the middle of my 3rd IUI cycle and am planning an IUI on or around 12/31. Im on Letrozole for this cycle. It is my first time on Letrozole as my last 2 were clomid cycles. Im hopeful that this will be the one that works! Anyone else planning an IUI next week? Let's support each other through the TWW. Merry Christmas and baby dust to all!
I'm 38 years old and planning my first IUI in January 2015.
Like many of you, I just haven't found the right one. I asked a friend to be my donor but things got more complicated than I expected, so I opted to go with an open ID donor instead.
I'm in NJ and would love to connect with other SMBCs (single mother by choice) in the area for meet-ups, outings and good ol' support. I've created an email account to connect: babblesbaublesbaby@gmail.com.
Best wishes to all!
She is amazing and a wonderfully good natured baby. Those close to me have also been very supportive. I do not know anyone else doing what I have done, but I wouldn't change my decision for the world.
What did surprise me is the support and positive reinforcement from people I didn't even know and how many people had serious questions about the process.
I now have my beautiful baby girl and this is the best thing I have ever done.
I had my third IUI done yesterday and now begin the process of the long 2 week wait. I developed 3 good follicles from Letrazole and my donors specimen had a great count of 40 million with great motility so I am very hopeful and optimistic. Anybody else in their 2 week wait?