Looking to connect with other single moms by choice
Chase35174
Posts: 29
Hi Everyone,
I'm a 36 yr old single woman and I've decided to do IUI. My cycle should be starting in a week and hopefully by mid October I'll have my first IUI. I don't have a lot of money so I'm hoping to get pregnant within 3 tries. Anyone had luck with 3 or less? Also, I'd love to connect with any single moms to get advice and support. I'm also curious about how people reacted when you told them you were going to be a single mom.
Wishing everyone luck out there!
I'm a 36 yr old single woman and I've decided to do IUI. My cycle should be starting in a week and hopefully by mid October I'll have my first IUI. I don't have a lot of money so I'm hoping to get pregnant within 3 tries. Anyone had luck with 3 or less? Also, I'd love to connect with any single moms to get advice and support. I'm also curious about how people reacted when you told them you were going to be a single mom.
Wishing everyone luck out there!
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My cousin(same age) and younger sister have been very supportive of my using a donor. I had consider having a child with a friend, he was on board but then I decided no because of the emotional stress.
I would love have to met someone, married and have a child with him but the reality was time and health was not on my side. Although I don't have symptoms nor am I on meds I was diagnosed with lupus so I decided to move forward. My drs were also very supportive and my primary care dr is the one who suggested I use a donor
As for the rest of the public, I can careless about any glares or whispers. If anyone ask about the baby's father whereabouts my response is politely of what importance is it to you?
I did select an open donor should the child want to attempt communication as an adult
KBT - A good friend of mine has lupus and she had a healthy pregnancy and in fact her lupus went into remission! She went off most of her medications and had zero lupus symptoms during her entire pregnancy. Now her baby is about 7 months old and she still feels amazing. So hopefully you will have the same luck!!
My biggest concern is that unless I want to go into debt for multiple IUIs, I only have enough money for 3. And all of the posts I read show people going through 3, 7, 10 iui cycles for years and still no luck. I'm trying to stay positive but the thought of not getting pregnant by my third time is scary.
I just turned 37 and started this process officially in January but have been thinking about it for years. I held out as long as I felt I could for the right man but it just wasn't happening. All of my close friends have been amazingly supportive and wondered why I waited so long! They have been around for all the failed relationships....lol! The majority of my family have been supportive but initially there were a few that didn't understand. Now that I'm pregnant (2nd IUI) everyone is completely on board! I also had financial concerns as there are expenses insurance doesn't pay for and my insurance is limited. I strongly suggest starting acupuncture as I felt it helped me a lot. Again another expense some insurance doesn't cover but well worth it.
I ended up choosing an anonymous donor because I couldn't find an open donor I was really interested in. I plan on being very open with my child about how he or she came to be and have been journaling the experience since my first Doctor visit. Another great support are the women on this site. We all share our successes and failures. I also feel like we truly understand what each other is going through (like no one else can) and genuinely hope/pray for each others BFP!
Good luck in your journey and keep us posted!
Jenn
I hope one day that Mr Right will show up and love me and my child, but for now I needed to take matters into my own hands. My mom was of course ecstatic about my decision. My sister is a bit more skeptical. She has 2 kids of her own and a husband to boot. She thinks I don't know what I'm getting myself into. Of course, anytime I'd try to offer advice in the past, she's always the one who would say...you don't know what's it's like until you have kids of your own. She's happy for me, but I think also worried. She's thinking who will be there to help support me? I believe that's when it's important to surround yourself with supportive family and friends who can step in when needed.
Just like everyone else has mentioned, it's a unique situation that we're in and it's very important that we are at least supportive of one another. We understand and can empathize like no one else because we've been through it ourselves. Wishing you the best of luck and lots of baby dust! We're here if you need us.
p.s. I'm in the chicago-land area.
My mother was not very supportive in the beginning and it hurt. Her exact words were "So you're going to tell your child you went to a sperm bank?" I simply said to her "YES! I'm going to tell my child that mommy wanted you so much that he went to a special place where mommies who don't have regular daddies can have babies!" My child will know that there was someone out there who was generous enough to help women he doesn't even know fulfill their dreams of becoming mothers! My mother apologized a few weeks after that and knows she can never take back her initial reaction. But now that I am just about 12 weeks pregnant she is bugging me about being in the delivery room and taking a day off work to come with me for my 14 week scan. There will be people who have negativity when hearing about choosing single motherhood, but I feel this forum is a great place to get support and reassurance that you are making the right decision for yourself and you are not alone :) sorry to be so long winded :) Good luck with your first IUI and Don't let the negative people get you down!
p.s.....I'm in NJ!
Colleen
I'm 41, soon to be 42, and hope to begin my IUI journey soon. Unfortunately, there is no way I can afford IVF so it's IUI or nothing. Mr. Right never came along and so it's now or never for me. Those who know about my journey have been very supportive but even if they weren't, I would still go ahead and have a baby.
I originally purchased 1 vial and the following day the rest of the vials from that donor were gone. Fortunately someone returned 3 of them and I purchased them. My goal was to save some vials for later, if possible, for a second child.
I did my first IUI 9/27 and got my BFP on the first try. So, yes you can get pregnant the first time around. Just make sure you take it easy after the procedure!
Good luck and keep us posted!
I now have a 5 month old baby girl that I love more than anything in the world. (4th IUI) She is happy and healthy. My friends and family have been very supportive. I am the only person I know who has chosen this route so I was worried about the responses. So far, they have all been positive. I hope it will be the same for you!
My immediate family is more supportive than I could have ever imagined. A few close friends know. I am so scared to tell people but maybe it will give someone else courage to do this. I was embarrassed and hoping to meet someone or else I would have done this years ago. Quite a journey and praying for a positive trial number 4. So hard financially and emotionally!!
I am in the Cleveland Ohio area.
I haven't logged in a long time. Been busy! 17 month old twins! LOL
I am now 36 years old, I decided to become a single mother using a donor. Best decision of my life. Everyone in my life supported me. I got pregnant with my first IUI, I now how have 17 month old twin sons.
My life before my children is a distant memory. It's been crazy. They were born premature, one healthy and a monster. One has had more than anyone's fair share of health problems. His lungs were underdeveloped. Spent 3 months in NICU. Came home on oxygen...was home 3 months and the week before Christmas he caught a little cold that quickly developed into pneumonia. He spent 2 months in PICU, we were a hairline away from losing him. He was on a life support machine called ECMO (it works for the lungs, so the lungs can rest...it's a last resort effort when chances of survival are less than 20%.) WELL he is a fighter and he survived. He was given a tracheostomy. Doctors said it could be years with it. He's had it since February and he is already being weaned off of it. By his 2nd birthday everything should be gone and lungs healthy living a completely normal life.
My boys are miracles. I encourage any woman to become a single mother. Having a support system is huge, but we are all strong and can do this. God will not give us what we can't handle.
There is never the "right" time for it. Have to dive head first and do it.
I had my first IUI this morning so the TWW period begins!
By the way, did any of you try the "pineapple" method? Did it work? I've read some articles that if you take a whole pineapple and slice it 5 ways, eat a piece each day for 5 days it helps with fertilization. I will literally do anything to help increase my chances! LOL
Stay tuned!
Experienced same reaction from my mother and it halted me in my tracks because she had previously been supportive until I told he i was actually doing it.
Now I am not sure how I am gong to proceed.
All of you out there, what is the most difficult part and what is the best part of being a single parent?
She was in shock when she first found out, but by the end of the day, she was super excited and happy for me!
I am also choosing to be a choice mom. My story is slightly different in that I already have two sons from a previous marriage. I knew I wanted more children and then my ex husband had an affair and left us three years ago. Our youngest was only 6 weeks old at the time. As time went on, I grieved the destruction of my marriage, but more so I grieved the loss of having more children..... And then I realized it didn't have to be the end. I have been thinking about this for the last year, and have finally started actually moving toward donor insemination. I have an appointment with a reproductive endocrinologist on November 13th. I did not have any problems getting pregnant naturally with my two boys, both we're conceived on the first try. But I'm 40 now and using donor sperm so I want to make sure I have the best chance possible.
My boys father is now back in their lives, and my only concern in this process is how donor child is going to feel knowing that their brothers have a "dad" and they don't.
I am a firm believer in following your heart, having faith, and knowing that anything can be overcome with love. I plan to actively start trying in May. Six months from now! I wish all of us good luck, and baby dust!
I'm in Texas and just bought 5 vials of 13952. 33 and single and ready to do this, Im tired of waiting to try and find mr right. I have polycystic ovaries so will start my first round after doing some meds in a few weeks. Very excited. Someone on the boards just announced a pregnancy by the same donor, so its cool thinking that there will be half sibs out there.