New support friends?

LgbtqsinglemomLgbtqsinglemom Posts: 11
in Single Mothers by Choice

Hi All,

I am in the beginning stages of my journey to motherhood. Over the last few weeks I have been searching to find my donor. I have found it very overwhelming at times while searching, and sometimes find myself at loss speaking to friends and family who haven’t gone through this process and don’t fully understand. So I thought, why not reach out here to see if anyone would like to be each other’s soundboard/ears through this process.

If interested, we can figure out a way to send emails/numbers if you’re comfortable.

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Comments

  • pineappleatseapineappleatsea Posts: 8

    Would love some pre-mom friends too. I actually found choosing a donor fun. It is like a weird kind of online dating where what would the kids look like? is more important than would we get along. I just had my first IUI two days ago and am suffering through the first two years wait. I mean weeks😉

  • LgbtqsinglemomLgbtqsinglemom Posts: 11

    @pineappleatsea It really does feel that way! It definitely is fun, but i get overwhelmed easily for some reason and I don’t know why. Congrats on your first IUI, that is so exciting. What was your major needs/ major no no’s when picking your donor?

  • pineappleatseapineappleatsea Posts: 8

    I wanted someone with a college education, who looked enough like me that I wouldn’t have to explain that it was my child in public. Those were the only qualifications I started with but,
    I found myself attracted to donors who said that they were close to their family and some musical ability.
    I found enough of all of the above to have a short list of 4 candidates to decide from. I just went with the one I “felt” best about.
    It helped that I am white. It seems like women of color have had fewer options.
    I began thinking about this a little over a year ago. In January I started with an appointment for a consultation and preliminary tests. I started looking at donors then, but not seriously. Then when I got serious I looked on several days the guys who made it to the maybe list all three days were my short list. It only took me three days to decide.

  • Nani999Nani999 Posts: 3

    Hi All,

    I am just starting this journey as well this is my second month tracking my cycle. My doctor isn't concerned about any testing so I'm going in pretty blind. I am super nervous as well. The only person that knows is my mom and I don't really plan on telling any one other than her so I'm glad to have ythis as an option !

  • Curious1.89Curious1.89 Posts: 45

    I’m a single mom by choice and there are multiple Facebook groups you can join. I chose my donor back in March and had my embryo transfer at the end of July. I’m almost 7 weeks.

  • MomwholovestoreadMomwholovestoread Posts: 4

    Hi! I am just starting my journey for #2 (first time going this route though) and am definitely interested in connecting with others through this. :)

  • CMC78CMC78 Posts: 1

    Hi I’m also looking for a donor I’m from the U.K. , and finding it quite overwhelming, I am going to be having ivf , could any one give me some advice on how many viles are needed ? X

  • Curious1.89Curious1.89 Posts: 45

    @CMC78 I did IVF and used less than 1 vial. I did ICSI and only used 29 sperm. I purchased 2 though.

  • NaeKantThinkStr8NaeKantThinkStr8 Posts: 29

    @Lgbtqsinglemom email me, we can go from there. junae54 at email.com

  • TTC2020TTC2020 Posts: 4

    I'm about 2 years in without success. Choosing to become a single mom was hard enough, but the added whammy of infertility is tough. I've been using the SMC community to help me on my journey (singlemothersbychoice.org). I'm lucky to have an active chapter nearby. I've also heard fruitfulfertility.org is a good resource for finding a one on one mentor. In choosing a donor, I honestly went with the profile that spoke to me and the donor was similar to me (something I was striving for so the child will not feel alienated. Good luck gals!

  • guinness37guinness37 Posts: 2

    Going through this for the first time as well and narrowing down donors. I am 37 and have some concerns about how long it's going to take. Does anyone have any recommendations on how many vials I should order for my first cycle?

  • ElksiElksi Posts: 1

    Hello hello! I’d be interested in a support group if someone has it set up. I will be doing IVF In the next couple months (eggs are frozen already, not fertilized) and fingers crossed have an embryo transfer before 2021. I’m choosing my donor today! Waiting on a call back for purchasing.

  • GlitterMeGoldGlitterMeGold Posts: 7
    edited October 22, 2020 11:51PM

    I started my journey this year as well. Me and my GF had 3 tries the last 3 months and no luck yet. I think it would be nice to have others to talk to about this as well. It gets super lonely when u don’t have anyone else around you that is going through the same thing. If anyone would like to chat email me at BausMum2018@aol.com....

  • Slimlady727Slimlady727 Posts: 11

    Hello.

    I just started this process. I will be doing it on my own. I selected my donor (wasnt easy at all) and now doing to stimulation at my fertility clinic. I am 39 and will be doing IVF.

  • GodsTimingIsPerfect81GodsTimingIsPerfect81 Posts: 1

    I started this process with two rounds of egg retrieval last year. I have 19 eggs in storage now, which the fertility clinic said would be good to try for #2 or #3 and they would try with my body for #1 to start with. I had a consultation back in February and then the pandemic threw me for a loop. I have a guy, and we've been "trying" now for 6 months, but it's not an ideal situation (i'm newly 39 and he just turned 50) and he is not in a position to be a child's father. I have already told him i am moving forward with a donor as my only goal right now is to have a baby. I reached back out and my dr. left the practice, so now i have to have a consultation with a new dr. - so frustrating since donors seem to sell out so fast - they won't sign my A1 without the consultation and it makes me nervous to be waiting any longer than i have to.

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