New support friends?

Hi All,

I am in the beginning stages of my journey to motherhood. Over the last few weeks I have been searching to find my donor. I have found it very overwhelming at times while searching, and sometimes find myself at loss speaking to friends and family who haven’t gone through this process and don’t fully understand. So I thought, why not reach out here to see if anyone would like to be each other’s soundboard/ears through this process.

If interested, we can figure out a way to send emails/numbers if you’re comfortable.


  • Would love some pre-mom friends too. I actually found choosing a donor fun. It is like a weird kind of online dating where what would the kids look like? is more important than would we get along. I just had my first IUI two days ago and am suffering through the first two years wait. I mean weeks😉

  • @pineappleatsea It really does feel that way! It definitely is fun, but i get overwhelmed easily for some reason and I don’t know why. Congrats on your first IUI, that is so exciting. What was your major needs/ major no no’s when picking your donor?

  • I wanted someone with a college education, who looked enough like me that I wouldn’t have to explain that it was my child in public. Those were the only qualifications I started with but,
    I found myself attracted to donors who said that they were close to their family and some musical ability.
    I found enough of all of the above to have a short list of 4 candidates to decide from. I just went with the one I “felt” best about.
    It helped that I am white. It seems like women of color have had fewer options.
    I began thinking about this a little over a year ago. In January I started with an appointment for a consultation and preliminary tests. I started looking at donors then, but not seriously. Then when I got serious I looked on several days the guys who made it to the maybe list all three days were my short list. It only took me three days to decide.

  • Hi All,

    I am just starting this journey as well this is my second month tracking my cycle. My doctor isn't concerned about any testing so I'm going in pretty blind. I am super nervous as well. The only person that knows is my mom and I don't really plan on telling any one other than her so I'm glad to have ythis as an option !

  • I’m a single mom by choice and there are multiple Facebook groups you can join. I chose my donor back in March and had my embryo transfer at the end of July. I’m almost 7 weeks.

  • Hi! I am just starting my journey for #2 (first time going this route though) and am definitely interested in connecting with others through this. :)

  • Hi I’m also looking for a donor I’m from the U.K. , and finding it quite overwhelming, I am going to be having ivf , could any one give me some advice on how many viles are needed ? X

  • @CMC78 I did IVF and used less than 1 vial. I did ICSI and only used 29 sperm. I purchased 2 though.

  • @Lgbtqsinglemom email me, we can go from there. junae54 at

  • I'm about 2 years in without success. Choosing to become a single mom was hard enough, but the added whammy of infertility is tough. I've been using the SMC community to help me on my journey ( I'm lucky to have an active chapter nearby. I've also heard is a good resource for finding a one on one mentor. In choosing a donor, I honestly went with the profile that spoke to me and the donor was similar to me (something I was striving for so the child will not feel alienated. Good luck gals!

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