Basic question for the single moms out there - first fertility appt

meremomtobemeremomtobe Posts: 15
in Single Mothers by Choice
I'm going to the first fertility doctor appointment next week, and super nervous/excited about it. One of my close friends offered to come with me, likely because she is considering it also for alternate reasons, but it kinda made me pause. I don't know if I want to have anyone with me, and if I do, the only people that I would want to join me, live on the other side of the country (I'm in LA, one is in Tennessee, one is in Florida). I'm such an independent person, and I realized when she offered that it's probably odd for me to not even have considered bringing someone.

Did any of you bring people with you to your appointment?

Comments

  • KBTKBT Posts: 379
    I did not, my mom and sister offered but I have made a choice not to bring anyone until the actual insemination but I still may not bring anyone then. I did speak with my cousin prior to the appt and after the appt since she works in medicine
  • harper123harper123 Posts: 6
    this is something I had not considered either, but two of my closest friends offered as well as my sister, for any and all appointments I want/they are able. For me it was a blessing because I already feel alone in this process, and having them want to be a part of it gives me someone to share it with. There are moments when I think, "you knew you were doing this alone, buck up," and then there are moments of, "you don't always have to be alone just because you are single".
  • 2014baby2014baby Posts: 12
    I didn't for the first appointment and then felt unclear about doing iui. It just seem to simple, like not a real appointment. It wasn't about what is my temp or b/p or weight. It was a simple health interview and since I am healthy was very short. However friend where I work had gone to my doctor and was successful with her first iui so i have consulted with her about litte and big questions. Every thing has been very fast and easy for me! My second appointment was blood work 12 days after my period, I recorded the conversation with my I phone and still consulted my friend who has gained a lot of knowledge through her personal experience! Then 2 days later I took a friend whom is supportive of my desision! So glad I did because I got butterflies! I am excited an hopeful! Iui was 2 days ago on 2-16-14!
  • ellamonaellamona Posts: 41
    Nope, didn't bring anyone to any kind of appointments. (Now in week +32). Didn't feel that would have helped me. It's my decision, my journey, my body. Perhaps I'm "too independent" used to being able to deal with ups and downs on my own.

    I am grateful for help offered and have shared parts of my journey. The donor selection process was being done with one of my close friends and a handful more knew about what I was up to as I went through the process...

    Won't even bring any friend/family member for the delivery. I WILL however bring a doula. So many of my friends with children - but living far away from me - have told me that i "MUST" bring someone.
    I feel strangely confident, yet don't want to disregard their experiences, thus decided that a doula probably is the best option. She, if anyone, should know how to "best support". Also, my closest friends where I currently live have not gone through parenthood themselves yet, thus I feel that they cannot do much for me. I know it's just about "being there" but I still feel that they will feel more helpless than strong and supportive. And mysef I trust experience and people who "know what they're doing" - if I panic/go through immense pain/despair/tears/fear/joy/whatever, SHE will have experienced this before and I will trust her advice/support much more, thus the choice of a doula instead...
  • jenn0977jenn0977 Posts: 97
    I didn' bring anyone either. I had a friend offer, but felt more comfortable doing it on my own. I'm very early on in the process and so far have done everything on my own....first appointment, blood work and just got back from my Femvue. Good luck to you!
  • KBTKBT Posts: 379
    I am early in the process too. Tomorrow I go meet with the Dr that is responsible for receiving the donors sperm in the lab. Not certain why I must meet with him separately but it is part of their process. (He also only sees patients 3 times, one day a week ???).

    I have several sisters, one is actually 9weeks pregnant now. So eventually they will be involved probably after 1st trimester. Also my mom is insisting so she is only going to allow me to exclude her to a certain point.

    I just don't want to deal with the emotions of other during this journey especially if it requires several cycles.
  • crystal307crystal307 Posts: 49
    One thing that i notice about we single ladies... we tend to be self-sufficient and so, i am not surprised that we don't need to really have anyone at our appts! I invited my mom to my IUI... i don't need her there, but i know that she would appreciate being there.
  • Asking13nowAsking13now Posts: 2
    I am just starting on this journey so any advice or words of wisdom they are welcome
  • kristina218nyckristina218nyc Posts: 1
    I didn't think of it, but I always feel less stressed doing something important without other people adding their input. That's my personal preference. And during this process, deuces stress is key! Happy momma now. Good luck!!
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