Finances...making it work being single

kbartkbart Posts: 36
in Single Mothers by Choice
Everyone,
I read (Rhynhl's) concern about "what if" you have twins...I too worry about having more than one baby and being able to afford it financially! Don't get me wrong...I would absolutely love to get two at one shot :-) !!!! But, I am a school teacher and I'm almost 35 years old and my income is about 40K. Good for a single person but add in daycare and family insurance????? What if something goes wrong?

I am in the beginning stages with my doctor for ICI! I wonder about who I would find for daycare? A home daycare would really be cheaper I know. There is no other option for me as of yet. I am just wondering about anyone else is in my situation and if they too worry like me. I'm not getting any younger and my situation is not going to change unless I make it change by making my own family which I have always wanted!

I can't control the "what if's" in life! I know that! "What if" my child needs medical care? Will my insurance be enough? I still plan to go through with ICI because of my love for my future children! Does anyone else share my concerns?

Comments

  • ryanhlryanhl Posts: 116
    Kbart,
    We'll have to keep in touch. I'm a school teacher also. I'm 36. I feel like we have a lot in common. We seem to have many of the same concerns.
  • danimoni70danimoni70 Posts: 19
    Hi Ladies,

    During these economic times I think that everyone is concerned about money, especially when you're a single mom. So, I guess the best advice for all is to look at areas of our lives that we can cut. Talk to your phone carriers and cable company to lower your bills. Shop with coupons, when grocery shopping. Also, go to bargain stores like TJ Maxx and Marshalls to shop for clothing shoes and when the time comes even baby toys!

    I'm waiting to have my IUI in about 6-9 months to prepare my body (eating right) and to whittle down some bills. Everything will work out...life has a way of doing that. The other aspect to remember is that we're all single now, but there is something called the future and that may bring a mate...keep all the possibilities open!
  • kbartkbart Posts: 36
    Oh my goodness ryanhl! I would love to keep in touch. Thank you! If you would like to email other than the forum...it is k_bart1@hotmail.com.
    Now did I read right that you have done your ICI just a few days ago? If so....do you know anything yet? :-) My doctor just called me back today about getting thing rolling.....im excited and wish the time was here now!
  • kbartkbart Posts: 36
    danimoni70... your comments are comforting and inspiring! Thank you.....perhaps a mate is in the future...I will hope and i will keep all possibilities open!

    Can you tell me why you are going with IUI and not ICI? My doctor originally said ICI but wouldn't the other go to the more direct spot? I think it would possibly be more accurate? It makes since to me. Do you know if there is a higher percentage of pregnancy with IUI versus the other? Did you decide or did your doctor decide?

    Thanks again! :-)
  • MamaLauraMamaLaura Posts: 29
    kbart,

    I know you were asking danimoni70 about the IUI vs ICI, but I thought I'd give you my perspective as someone who is choosing to do ICI first.

    Most of it comes down to cost for me. ICI sperm is less expensive than IUI sperm, and I can do it myself rather than paying a doctor to do it.

    As far as I know, IUI has a higher success rate, but ICI isn't impossible, ya know? I've gotten pregnant just fine the old fashioned way, so I'm not really worried about ICI. I figure I'll try that way up to 3 cycles before going to IUI.

    I would imagine that's why a doctor would suggest ICI. To save you money, and because a lot of people do get pregnant that way still. But since the statistics seem to show IUI being more successful (by a few percentage points, if I remember correctly), talk to your MD about doing that. Get his/her to talk to you about what's best for YOU. Good luck!
  • buffettqueenbuffettqueen Posts: 5
    Hi Everyone-

    I am starting my first IUI cycle this week. My dr suggested the IUI method because my health insurance covers 6 IUI's in my lifetime. It's still quite a bit out of pocket for me, but less than IVF and I like that the insurance will cover some of it.

    I worry about multiples too. There are pros and cons to having multiples. I was really freaked out about the idea at first, but now am kind of excited about the idea. Though financially, it will make it tougher. As danimoni70 said, things have a way of working out.

    Good Luck!
  • kbartkbart Posts: 36
    Thank you for your help! I will look up the percentages for IUI versus ICI in getting preg. I would assume the IUI would be higher but I'll do some research and ask the CCB. I'll have to find out because I want the best and quickest option if it works that way! I'll look at my insurance again too. I don't want to miss anything!

    MamaLaura...did you still have to have a physician fill out any paperwork for you to try it at home or was it simply making an account and buying from CCB and they mail you the vials?? My doc. will only do this for me if I let her do the work in her office which I'm fine with becasue I believe I'll need some fertility help anyway.... I'm sure if my name or license were on something, I'd want to be in control of what was happening too. I'm sure that's it!
  • MamaLauraMamaLaura Posts: 29
    kbart - You do still have to have a physician fill out the paperwork to do ICI at home. It's really simple though. They basically just fill out their information (name, business address, medical lisence number, and that sort of thing) and which type of sperm (ICI or IUI) you can purchase.

    I had my gynecologist do the paperwork. She's a family practitioner who also does gynecology. I've been seeing her for a long time, and she treats several people in my family, including my 2 children. I have an obstetrician, of course, but I'm not as comfortable with her on a personal level. I trust her medically, but don't have any sort of "connection" with her. So I just made an appointment with my family doctor/gyno to talk to her and then when I went in, I brought the form from CCB. Told her what I was planning on doing and we talked about it, and she filled out the form and signed it. Very easy. I'll go to my OB for the pregnancy when it happens, I just didn't feel the need to go to her for this part. She can take care of my pregnant self without knowing HOW I got pregnant, ya know?
  • MamaLauraMamaLaura Posts: 29
    Sorry, I misspelled license lol
  • danimoni70danimoni70 Posts: 19
    Hi Ladies,

    I am always amazed how these conversations on the message board are so timely! Thanks MamaLaura for explaining the difference between IUI and ICI. Although I already purchased a IUI vial, I was under the impression that was my only choice. I have yet to talk to a doctor, so I need to get on that ASAP. I wanted to purchase the vial soon because the donor I liked his vials were going quickly and he currently does not have any IUI vials.

    So, hopefully my first IUI will get me pregnant, but if not, I will use the ICI vials from this donor. On another note, if any of you are on Facebook there is a private CCB Friends group on Facebook. They say the group is private and that it will not appear in your friends list. So, if you'd like to keep in touch, perhaps you would like to do it via the means of Facebook.

    Kbart, thanks for creating the strand! Have a great day too!
  • MamaLauraMamaLaura Posts: 29
    Hmm... I may have to join Facebook just to have access to that group! Thanks for passing that along.
  • BratchRBratchR Posts: 12
    Thank you all for sharing...
    I have posted some messages on here in regards to the same questions, concerns...unknowns, and each time I log in on this site and read more similar feelings brings comfort and reassurance to me. So, I appreciate all of your insight.
    I did have an "orientation", if you will, with my doctor to IUI. He talked with me for a good 45 minutes. I explained to him that this year, for me, is about educating myself on what my options are...and taking this year to plan, in the event of committing to making this decision. I know realistically I must prioritize what is directly in front of me first: paying down the small debt I do have...decreasing costs, saving what I can, and taking advantage of opportunities that just might enter my life when I least expect them to. It's funny, I still have the "dream" of meeting the 'right guy'...yet it fades....and then comes into focus....and fades again... But the clear image I have, and always have had is carrying, giving birth to...and raising a child. My doctor enthusiastically claims that 'good things' will happen to me this year (meaning 'the' guy)...yet is supportive of me if I choose to proceed with IUI. I made the decision that I will give myself the remaining of this year before I commit to this decision...because I feel I will be ready to make that decision (emotionally and financially).
    Thank you all again for listening...and supporting. And thank you for sharing the FB link!

    R.
  • danimoni70danimoni70 Posts: 19
    I understand completely...really I do! I will look for you all on Facebook. My name is Danielle.
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