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Making the right choice before getting started

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  • ButterflyButterfly Posts: 47
    Mommy87--Dont lie. I never called you "selfish" for wanting a child at 22.I never used that word. Stop lying. And I never said that because of your age you were "not ready". I didnt say that either. What I stated in my original post were simply questions to make you reflect on certain aspects that need to be considered before deciding to have a child. You better re-read the post.

    Msteere1--And as far as: "You are beginning to make me feel like I don't deserve to do this because I am young and that makes me very upset"..Well if you feel that way then you need to work on your self esteem, you control the way you feel and think.
  • Pamela MariePamela Marie Posts: 39
    Mommy87 and Msteere1,

    You need to chill a bit, dont take things out of proportion. Good for you if you if you want to have a child and can afford it and manage it, but dont overract for nothing. someone was just giving you some advice to be taken into consideration.
  • mommy87mommy87 Posts: 103
    I didn't once say that you called us selfish. I never did once. I said you said something like that. I mean do you think we just woke up this morning and said. "Oh I think I'll have baby in the next couple of months" I can't speak for anyone but me but I have thought about this for years. I wouldn't be here if I haven't. Were here for support and to talk to others about our situations not to be attacked by someone. I don't care if you reply to this or not. I'm done commenting on this and I'm done talking to you!
  • Pamela MariePamela Marie Posts: 39
    I usually dont get involved in these types of conversations but Mommy23 it seems like you continue argueing for no reason, and your points arent even valid to be honest. And It seems like you're the one who's attacking here :s
  • mommy87mommy87 Posts: 103
    I'm sorry if it seems that way. But that's not what I intended. Let me ask you a question. If some stranger came up to me on the street because they overheard a conversation you were having with someone else about becoming a single mother and started asking you all these personal questions and the "if you even have a job" one was hurtful. Yes I have a well paying job. I got my first job at 15 and have worked my way up at that same job ever since. Wouldn't you feel the need to defend yourself? That's all I was doing as I would have done with anyone.
  • Pamela MariePamela Marie Posts: 39
    Mommy23, No one is asking you about your personal life or attacking you, on the contrary it seemed like you were..I read all the posts and Butterfly made good points, its honestly good to consider those aspects when decididng to have a child at a young age. Instead of getting all mad about it you should consider them.
  • mommy87mommy87 Posts: 103
    Trust me when I say that I have thought about those questions. I think about those questions everyday. I just can't help but think. If I had never said my age, Would this whole thing even have started? If I was 32 or 40 instead of 22 would we still be here talking about this? Probably not. It's my age that brought all this out.
  • Ms M404Ms M404 Posts: 111
    Ladies our hormones are showing!! I am sure ALOT of thought has gone into each of our individual choices to have a child on our own. This is a sounding board but most importantly a support system as we go throught the shots, pills, the anticipation, anxious moments and the let downs. Dont ya think? No matter what age, this is a crazy(but well worth it) journey and this is a place for love and respect. Baby dust to you all
  • mommy87mommy87 Posts: 103
    Thank you MS404.

    I want to apologize for my older posts. Yesterday was a terrible day for me. My doctor suggested I go to some group counseling for women who want to be single mothers. While I was there i told my story and basically then got trashed. Some of the other women there were just so hurtful saying things like "your to young to have a baby now, let the women who have been trying for year, who deserve one have kids." or "your to young to understand any of this. In a few months after you pregnant or have the baby you'll probably just get sick of it." I left before the class ended. I'm completely heartbroken. When I came on here later on for some support I just saw that comment and just thought "OMG everyone thinks this way about me."

    I re read your post Butterfly, and I know what your saying. Thank you for saying it. Again I apologize. I didn't mean to start anything.
  • Msteere1Msteere1 Posts: 8
    Thank you MS M404 I agree with you completely and the whole reason I was here in the first place was for information and support. Thank you for pointing that out to all of us.
    To you Butterfly-Maybe you think I have over reacted, but it is the way I feel and that is that. I also want you to remember that I did thank you for raising those questions and did agree with you that they do need to be thought out, all's I was doing was stating my points. Please just remember that what you say hits close to home for some people even if it seems like nothing for you.
    I consider this conversation over because we have turned it into nothing but an argument and it's not worth it nor is it what we are all here for.
    I wish the best of luck to you all and hope your journey to mommy hood is short and successful. Good night all!
  • audriannahooveraudriannahoover Posts: 17
    Nicole,

    I completely feel your pain. From the time I was sixteen, motherhood has been the one major thing I know I'm destined for in life. Now, I am nineteen years old, and will soon be getting pregnant from donor sperm. My parents, after long, long discussions, are very much supporting my decision to become a mother, and I'm prepared to do so financially and emotionally.

    I'm not giving up on love. But I could go lifetimes without falling in love, getting married, etc. I couldn't go even half a lifetime without being a mother.

    I know that you'll do just fine!

    AH
  • Msteere1Msteere1 Posts: 8
    Good for you audriannahoover for striving fo rwhat you want and making it happen! Good luck to you and keep us posted.
  • audriannahooveraudriannahoover Posts: 17
    Msteere1,

    I will! The best of luck to you - I know you'll do a fantastic job. We wouldn't be here if that weren't already a definite. Why would we want to be moms, if we didn't think we were going to be any good at it (and could recover from those little mistakes in the process, of course)??? LOL

    AH
  • Msteere1Msteere1 Posts: 8
    Thanks AH!
  • mckaimckai Posts: 13
    To all the honest and wonderful ladies on this journey. I completely feel your decision struggles and great joy once you decide to be a mom. It has taken me almost a decade to get to this point where I'm buying sperm online(funny as that sounds) and now suddenly in my beautiful life, age becomes an issue. Weird. But I'm also going to do what I can to be a mom. Because...what if we only have one life? Let's make it the best life ever!

    Good luck with everything. You can do it, and it's great that we are all taking control of our destiny!
    Julie
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