Encouragement Thread
riley
Posts: 44
I could use some encouragement, and I bet others can do. Would love to keep an active thread at the first page filled with good things about people becoming SMC or those who already did.
When I was 30, I was going to do it. I bought sperm from cryobank and had appointments, but people talked me into giving my love life more time. I promised myself I'd give myself until 32.
But at 32 I went through egg freezing instead since it was beginning to be proved by that point. I gave myself until 35.
At 34 I got into a Big Mistake marriage. It wasn't love. It was sort of like a business arrangement to raise a family together. But it was a mistake. Fake-Love without love breeds resentment. So that ended as quickly as it began.
Now I am 35. I am so ready. I have an appointment in a few weeks. I bought 5 vials last night. I know two successful women who each have 2 kids conceived with a donor. Both are so sure it was right and wish they did it younger. I get so sure. And I convince myself that I'm not giving up on love. In 2 years I could be 37 with a toddler - and it's not like there aren't second marriages and blended families. I live in NYC and there are social groups for single parents. And doesn't having a kid also open you up to meeting lots of new people? Don't get me wrong, want a baby for a baby. But I also try to swat away the feelings that I'll never have a life partner. And just when I get convinced, some skeptic throws me for a loop and says that having a kid on my own will destroy my life and that I'm still plenty young and attractive (bah!) to do it all the traditional way. And then the doubts creep in. I have read all the books, joined all the SMC stuff ... been planning this for FIVE YEARS - and still just one skeptical comment can have me in self doubt again. I have found this board to be very encouraging. Let's have a real encouragement thread to counter the skeptics and the self doubt. Just hearing from others struggling with the same doubts and from people who did it and never looked back - it helps. I know there's encouragement in so many threads - but maybe just encouragement-of-the-day type posts ... People posting luck in dating post baby or how happy they are to be pregnant or holding their baby as a single mom .... let's get lots of good stuff in this thread. (sorry such a long intro).
When I was 30, I was going to do it. I bought sperm from cryobank and had appointments, but people talked me into giving my love life more time. I promised myself I'd give myself until 32.
But at 32 I went through egg freezing instead since it was beginning to be proved by that point. I gave myself until 35.
At 34 I got into a Big Mistake marriage. It wasn't love. It was sort of like a business arrangement to raise a family together. But it was a mistake. Fake-Love without love breeds resentment. So that ended as quickly as it began.
Now I am 35. I am so ready. I have an appointment in a few weeks. I bought 5 vials last night. I know two successful women who each have 2 kids conceived with a donor. Both are so sure it was right and wish they did it younger. I get so sure. And I convince myself that I'm not giving up on love. In 2 years I could be 37 with a toddler - and it's not like there aren't second marriages and blended families. I live in NYC and there are social groups for single parents. And doesn't having a kid also open you up to meeting lots of new people? Don't get me wrong, want a baby for a baby. But I also try to swat away the feelings that I'll never have a life partner. And just when I get convinced, some skeptic throws me for a loop and says that having a kid on my own will destroy my life and that I'm still plenty young and attractive (bah!) to do it all the traditional way. And then the doubts creep in. I have read all the books, joined all the SMC stuff ... been planning this for FIVE YEARS - and still just one skeptical comment can have me in self doubt again. I have found this board to be very encouraging. Let's have a real encouragement thread to counter the skeptics and the self doubt. Just hearing from others struggling with the same doubts and from people who did it and never looked back - it helps. I know there's encouragement in so many threads - but maybe just encouragement-of-the-day type posts ... People posting luck in dating post baby or how happy they are to be pregnant or holding their baby as a single mom .... let's get lots of good stuff in this thread. (sorry such a long intro).
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Comments
Similarly, I am 35 and divorced. After waiting to meet mister right for 7 years I decided now it’s as good a time as any and I don’t care what the naysayers of doom have to say about it. I decided when I turned 30 that I would become a single mother by choice if I was still single by age 32, which then got pushed back to 33, 34 and then 35. I gave up at 35 for a couple of months until my OBGYN empowered me to go the donor route, which I had never considered. I will be doing my first (and hopefully only) IUI sometime next week with donor 12061. I have a stable career; I am also pursuing my master’s degree and hoping to buy a house in the next six months (crazy, I know!) so I am more than capable of taking care of a child alone. My life will always feel empty without the love of a child… I can’t wait to hold my baby in my arms and tell him/her how long I’ve waited for them and much I love him/her. Ladies, let’s stay positive and visualize ourselves with our precious little bundles of joy, the mind is a powerful creating tool, let’s put it to work and let’s not allow our fears to interfere.