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Help with the holidays

teachertracysteachertracys Posts: 43
in Single Mothers by Choice
hi everyone-
is it just me- or does anyone else going through this process feel so sad during the holidays? the last few years i have not participated in my family's holiday activities b/c i am just so sad. to me the holidays ARE kids and family. while i have an immediate family it's not the same as having your own. i feel bad about it but i know how i am and how i feel and i don't want to ruin the day for everyone else. how can i cope? any ideas?

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    nbound72nbound72 Posts: 153
    Holidays get VERY difficult especially if there are young children and families around which is most cases. At times, I have felt like a fish out of water. Over the last couple of years, I've tried to make some changes to make myself feel better. One, I always bring my own car. That way you leave when you need to. Two, I try and find 1 or 2 people to sit and chat with. Even if it means listening to their "stories" they are usually so appreciative that you sat and listened to them. Three, I've tried having some of the holidays at my house. It keeps you very busy with cooking and cleaning that you don't have time to feel bad. PLanning ahead makes a difference. For example, for 4th of July I started planning a get together at my house about 2 months in advance so now all those couples knew I wanted to get together. It's a challenge every holiday to not feel alone and to also have fun like everyone else does. I have also realized that so many of those couples are not so happy either. Hope you found this babbling helpful. :)
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    KarenRKarenR Posts: 105
    Here is my two cents worth.
    I was with my ex-boyfriend for 17 years. (don't judge, please!! LOL)
    When we first broke up, I was very worried about being alone at the holidays.
    But, I quickly realized I was NOT alone. I really, really love chatting with my cousins that I only see 1 or 2X per year. I usually play games with the kids (being a teacher, that is easy and natural for me). I have actually come to LOVE holiday time. I am very excited because now I have a 6 month old niece, and she will make it even more fun.
    If you look at the holidays differently - more as a time to catch up with people - you'll be amazed at home much fun they are. Trust me - people want to be with you!
    :-)
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