Telling work about BFP

Sweet Pea 11Sweet Pea 11 Posts: 41
in LGBTQ+ Couples
I was wondering what everyone else has done/plans to do? My due date is 6/1. That's right at the end of a very busy period at work. Assuming I would make it to my due date, I would be missing the last week of madness at work. I work with people in different offices of the country, but I'll be at the main office in a week and was wondering if it would be too early to let them know. I would be 7 weeks then. I think it would be better to tell them in person, and with the deadline at work, maybe the sooner the better? After next week, I'm not sure when I'll be traveling there again. Any thoughts?

Comments

  • Sweet Pea 11Sweet Pea 11 Posts: 41
    I also should have mentioned, I've been considering saying that I will be a single mom. Since I don't work directly with some of these people, I'm not sure how they'd react if I came out and told them I'm pregnant in the same conversation!
  • ualtiggerualtigger Posts: 589
    If they're not going to be directly involved with you, I don't think you need say anything... believc me... it'll get around just by word of mouth!!

    AFM: I don't intend to tell my job until I get through the first trimester or perhaps halfway through the second one... and folks here know that I'm not married (though I do have another half) so it's going to be a given that I'm going to be a single mom!!
  • ualtiggerualtigger Posts: 589
    What tha heck is a believc?? I meant believe!! We need EDIT, SPELL CHECK... DELETE... something to fix errors with!!
  • Sweet Pea 11Sweet Pea 11 Posts: 41
    Sorry, I reread that and it didn't make sense. What I meant about not working directly with them was we are in different offices. My team is scattered across two time zones and three offices. It's a small team, actually understaffed, so I'm just worried about the reaction when I tell them when I'm due. That's why I thought maybe the sooner the better!

    I knew exactly what believc was too! Didn't even notice until the next post!
  • AlysiaAlysia Posts: 47
    If it were me, I'd wait until at least after the 1st trimester. Sadly, many miscarriages happen in the 1st trimester.
  • AlysiaAlysia Posts: 47
    Sorry! That sounds really negative! I happened to miscarry at 6 weeks, unfortunately right after we told ALL our friends. I hadn't told work yet, but in my opinion, it's much harder to "undo" when you've told people that aren't close to you. It's hard enough telling the people that ARE close to you.
  • ualtiggerualtigger Posts: 589
    Alysia: And you've just brought up WHY I intend to wait until I'm out of my first trimester before I tell folks... been on the receiving end of a person having to tell me the bad news later... I couldn't be as sad as the family... but it still hurt to hear.
  • DoneenDoneen Posts: 22
    I will be 19 weeks this Monday and still have not told coworkers. We have another ultrasound this coming week and I am just now starting to show, but plan on saying something after this sono. It has been easy though I wear scrubs and they are very forgiving in that they have always looked to big on me so no one can tell. I would wait until you are out of your 1st trimester. Involving people that are not close to you other than a work relationship can be challenging given that some may not be supportive. Pregnancy is not a protected class so you just never know....
  • ArkmomArkmom Posts: 92
    Actually, pregnancy dsicrimination is sex discrimination. Here is the relavant section from the statute defining sex descrimination:

    (k) The terms “because of sex” or “on the basis of sex” include, but are not limited to, because of or on the basis of pregnancy, childbirth, or related medical conditions; and women affected by pregnancy, childbirth, or related medical conditions shall be treated the same for all employment-related purposes, including receipt of benefits under fringe benefit programs, as other persons not so affected but similar in their ability or inability to work, and nothing in section 2000e-2(h) of this title shall be interpreted to permit otherwise.

    42 U.S.C.A. § 2000e


    So, if your employer has 15 or more employees, pregancy is covered. Essentially, it is treated like a disability.
  • girlylovergirlylover Posts: 6
    hey i was honest from the start.. i haven't even gotten pregnant yet, i have my preg test this upcoming week. i have told them from the start that my girlfriend and i were trying to get pregnant, what can they do? it's not their business and a majority of others have children here at work, it's your life.. and to be a single mother i admire you for it, the child is very lucky good luck with whatever you decide.. also i'm very open at work with my coworkers and bosses so they don't get shocked about anything, good ole southern boys.. take care and congrats
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