TTC Support

SingleLeoSingleLeo Posts: 12
in Single Mothers by Choice

I'm worried I might be infertile or something. This was my 7th cycle of at-home ici and I've yet to see a + pregnancy test. I've been using 3+ opk brands each time and they all agree on the beginning and ending of my surge. From 30 mlu to 30, it takes 15 hours,with the peak being at 12. I'm tired of the mixed responses regarding how many hours to insem, because I understand that the LH drops once the egg is released, so that would mean to insem at the 12 hour mark for me. I've been pouring it into a Softdisc and then putting my butt up in the air, taking mucinex, multiple supplements, teas, vitamins, blah. My bbt always rises the following morning, confirming the opks. I stopped jogging or doing hard exercises, in exchange for softer ones like walking. At this point I've spent 10k and have nothing to show for it. I had to join a 2 month waitlist for an initial phone consultation at a fertility clinic, which I'm still waiting for.
I am 36, have a 28 day cycle, 4 day bleed, no cramps, no spots. I'm out of pocket for all expenses and am worried that there might be something wrong with me that can't be fixed, or that all my tests will be normal, I waste $ testing and am left with an Unexplained Infertility diagnosis. I want to have my baby already! I've always been in great health, so I wonder if my tubes are blocked or if there's hope for me, like with Invocell or even IUI. IVF is way too expensive. Anyone experience anything similar? Thanks for reading, I feel all on my own in this and like I have no control because infertility isn't really something I can just fix, but my appointment is coming up and I'm sure going to try.

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Comments

  • StayPositiveStayPositive Posts: 32

    Hey there.
    Aww no! I can see you've put a lot of time, money and effort into TTC and I can hear how devastating it is when it doesn't work. I think you are doing the right thing by investing in seeing a specialist at a fertility clinic. Annoying that there's a wait list at your clinic, but I think this appointment will help settle your mind and confirm for you that pregnancy is still possible. They will help you with planning a way ( or ways) forward.
    Then you can decide which is the best plan of action for you and that may well start with IUI depending on what they say. Remember they are just there to advise, you are always in control of making the choices from what they offer.
    You are right, anything going on with your fertility is not your fault or anything you can fix alone, so you are doing all the right things moving forward. I think you are very brave and I'm here to cheer on anyone tough enough to go through the fertility battle. Hang in there. This time next year you might be holding your little one : ) x

  • Mama2BhopefullyMama2Bhopefully Posts: 2

    I’m literally reading this and thinking we are the same person. I’ve been on prenatal since 2019, started at home insemination (from a different sperm bank) in January 2020. As of May 2021 I was emotionally drained from the process, and almost financially drained as I spent close to $1600 each attempt (once I paid $2500!!). I tried 7 times, each time there was a - test I would look for a new “improved” method online…I mean I’m sure we’ve all been reading/watching the same “tricks”…and each home treatment I’d try something new. I followed ALL instructions to the letter. Each try was emotionally agonizing, each day that passed I was hypervigilant on any little change in my body, thinking this was it…I was pregnant. Only to find an unwelcome visit from Aunt Flow. I stopped telling my family after the 3rd attempt also because it added another layer of sadness that didn’t need to be there. I stopped sobbing after my 5th attempt.

    In May 2021 I decided I can’t keep doing this to myself, both financially and emotionally, so I scheduled an appointment with the fertility clinic. Today was my first appointment and we went through everything were going to do to make this happen. I don’t know how I still have optimism after everything I’ve done, but this will give me answers that I just can’t answer by myself. My doctor recommended this specific sperm bank because of the success rate and their customer service.

    I’m a single woman who’s shouldering all these costs. Some (bloodwork and ultrasound) are covered by my insurance, but everything else is out of pocket. I’ve already had the hard conversation with myself as to when is enough enough. I cannot afford IVF, so IUI is my last resort. If that fails then I will adopt. I’m in contact with adoption agencies and I’m excited to have that possibility also.
    I’m thankful I read your post because I felt everything you wrote. I felt your frustration and sadness. Just don’t give up hope!

    I can let you know how my process goes, who knows maybe we can both hit the reproductive lottery and be mamas this time next year!!! Anything I learn I’m happy to share.

    I so desperately wish this process was as simple as assembling a nightstand with instructions, where if I’m missing parts I just call the manufacturer :(.

    Stay strong and know you’re not on an island! <3

  • SingleLeoSingleLeo Posts: 12

    That's so sweet of you! It definitely sounds like we're in the same boat. A lot has happened since my post, so here it goes.
    I finally got in to a fertility clinic. Took all the NV state-required blood tests, plus a HyCoSy. I'm super healthy with clear tubes, just my FSH was 8.8 and they want it 8.0 or less. It means my eggs are a little tired/old. But I'm 36, so we already knew that, right? That clinic pushes ivf, I assume because it's 25k, so I set up a free consultation with Life Ivf in Southern Calif. The lady was way nicer and said my numbers are fine and I should be able to get pregnant on my own, but that we could start with iui, if I wanted. Their ivf is 11k for an all-inclusive package. I want my baby now, especially since this is the time of year that will lead to the right zodiac signs for my baby. To use their clinic, I need a few more blood tests due to different state requirements, so I just got back from drawing blood. I'm paying cash for everything because I don't have insurance. I added another fsh test to the batch just to see if I can lower it with the supplements that I read studies on. I'll take the rest of the blood tests on my next day 3, plus I already scheduled a pap smear. That will cover all the required tests for CA.
    CA Cryo is also my 2nd bank. I still have 3 vials in storage and after that I'm switching to a cheaper bank. My donor here is all out of ici vials and I refuse to pay the same price for a smaller iui vial. I just inseminated 4 days ago using a Softcup and just 1 ici vial (1ml). I've decided that since I'm not blocked, don't have anything growing in my uterus or anything really to lead to this not working, that I'm going to do 2 more cycles on my own. This time I'll use 3 vials each, 3 here and 3 at the cheaper bank the next cycle. If that doesn't work, I'm going to do ivf at that 11k place. I will try twice, one for a gemini baby and once for a leo baby. They said they can freeze and store my embryos for next time, I don't know how much that will cost, but I'll probably go for it. Too bad we couldn't share a package because they have a 3 attempts package. Like if mine worked the first time, then you could have the next two. That would be neat, because it's not like they'd save them for my next baby. Let's keep eachother posted 👍🤰

  • Mama2BhopefullyMama2Bhopefully Posts: 2

    Absolutely!! I will be sending positive thoughts to you and hope you have success! My doctor and I didn’t even talk about IVF because everywhere I asked it was 20-30k! If my doctor quotes me similar costs for ivf then I’ll look for other clinics like you. I will be very interested in hearing about your journey!

  • 123abc123abc Posts: 45

    I also tried 3 IUIs and my test show that I have diminished ovarian reserve. So i'm doing IVF for 10K in California. Kaiser charges 30K and doesn't cover IVF. You can DM me on IG at asianchoicemom.

  • SingleLeoSingleLeo Posts: 12

    Thanks for responding. I typed a long message with links to help the previous responder, but cryo didn't approve it.
    When is your first ivf attempt? All I have left regarding the CA state testing is the Rubella, Varicella titer blood tests and the pap. I'm going to retest my fsh, so I'll do the blood test on cycle day 3, which will be Monday. Currently 10 dpo. Have had symptoms and a bbt that dropped below the cover line today, but didn't test. Tired of seeing negative tests, plus in the event it was an implantation dip, I'll just wait to see what my bbt does since AF is due in 4 days anyways. I don't have IG.
    Which clinic will you be using for ivf? I still have more questions for Life Ivf, but I'll have to pay the fertility evaluation in order to ask since I already had the freebie consultation. I still want to know if they freeze the embryo while they wait for the pgt results and hatch it after thawing, if thawing and hatching are included, how much IUIs and embryo storage are, and if a cycle fails but I go back to transfer a stored embryo, how much that will be. I saw another clinic offers one year embryo storage, but had some asterisks by the medication part. I highly disagree with having to pay consultation fees everywhere in order to ask about their services and prices.

  • SingleLeoSingleLeo Posts: 12

    I forgot to mention that there is a newer ivf version called Invocell. Not all clinics offer it, but it runs about 5k plus a few things, depending on where you get it. Let me copy a link to one:

    https://fresnofertilitycenter.com/invocell.html

    They have a location in San Luis Obispo, you just have to google their name. They also have cheap ivf, and the additional fees are listed at the bottom:

    https://fresnofertilitycenter.com/fertility-treatment-cost.html

    There is a fertility doctor on YouTube who lets you ask questions for free, it just takes her about 2 weeks to do so. Here's a link to where to submit your question. She responds in a video on IG that is later posted to YouTube. You can watch her previous video responses to see if you'd like to participate:

    https://draimee.org/ask-the-egg-whisperer

    Definitely worth a shot before adopting.

    I hope all your tests come back great and that we can nip all this in the bud before the year is over!

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