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Oh gosh...am I going to do this again?

I'm 42, a few months shy of my 43rd. My daughter is 13 months as of last Friday. I went and talked to my doctor last week and he said he didn't see why not...

It just seems absolutely crazy to have found this balance with my daughter, however precarious it is daily but still, I know her now so well that there's just a rhythm and that's probably why I think I can handle another.

And so there's moments I'm 98% sure I'm being absurd and to move on...and then a lot of the time I'm 99% sure I should at least find out. I so want her to have a sibling, it's such a special relationship and being a SMBC you know, I just want her to have as much family as possible. She and I have our friends and all that but as for family, my older sister is definitely not having kids and my younger sister is just 22 - fresh out of college and loving being 22 so yeah, there's no babies in her near future. Not to mention she was present for my daughter's birth and needed her own nurse to get through so she's pretty sure babies are not coming out of her vagina.

Anyway...there's my push and pull 24/7 lately. Dr said pretty much I gotta do it now or never at my age so next cycle I'm meant to go in to check my hormones....

...it's absurd right? But then, would I always wonder, what if?

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    The answer is apparently, yes, I am at least investigating doing it again.

    Started my shots last night

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    Well not feel super great...

    11 retrieved, 10 inseminated...7 progressed...

    1 Day 6 blastocyst biopsied and frozen. 4AA so that's good but TBD on the genetics.

    The others all didn't progress. 3 more almost made it but failed.

    One.

    I know all I need is one but ....

    One. And I don't know if it's any good yet.

    Hope to hear by xmas, I can't wait until the new year.

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    I sure hope you were successful!

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    I do too!

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    Stay positive @erinogirl123 like you said, it only takes 1!

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    Do you have any updates @erinogirl123 ?

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    Sadly I was not successful. Wasn't successful with a subsequent try with a different donor. The embryos just poop out and don't progress as they should. I get a good amount of eggs at retrieval but they think perhaps they quality is being diminished in the process. There is an "experimental" option where they don't try for the most eggs but I'm just not sure I have another round in me psychologically. The last round was so many shoots - more than I had for the previous 2 times. Some doses required me to inject myself twice to get the proper amount. So for now I'm done. I have met someone and am now engaged so there's always hope for a miracle the natural way. I try not to focus on it too much as it would likely drag me down and make me sad that I didn't do all of this sooner, that maybe if I had things would be different. Instead I enjoy every moment with my daughter, reminded minute by minute just how lucky I am given all the odds.

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