6th Failed IUI

Sweet Pea 11Sweet Pea 11 Posts: 41
in LGBTQ+ Couples
I've been lurking in this forum for a few weeks now, but this is my first post. I'm very frustrated/depressed today since AF showed up. I've been through 6 IUI's now, the last one with clomid (50 on days 3-7). I'm using a donor from a different bank, but I'm now thinking about possibly switching donors/banks. I'm not sure what else to do. I really thought this was going to be the month.
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Comments

  • cholland59411cholland59411 Posts: 105
    HI Sweet Pea
    I understand where you are coming from. I am on my 5th IUI and just started the 2ww. I switched DR's as well as Donor's before we did this round. Love the new Dr. seems to be very motivated to get me pregnant. We did IUI on Friday which was day twelve for me and I had one follicle that was 22mm and one 12mm. I think that I ovulated sometime Friday night because of the spike in Temp. on SAt morning. Just keep trying it will eventually happen when the time is right for both of us. Kelly
  • MistyandCarlaMistyandCarla Posts: 720
    Sweet Pea...Hello and welcome to the boards.

    I'm sorry that this is taking so long for you...I know it must be very discouraging!

    Have you had an HSG done? Does your doctor mention any reason that it's not working? Do you have any health issues?

    If all is clear, I would switch donors. Many people have been unsuccessful with one donor will switch to a new donor and be pregnant within a try or two. You just never know. Some times our bodies chemicals just don't seem to match up.

    How have the post thaw numbers been on the sperm?
  • Sweet Pea 11Sweet Pea 11 Posts: 41
    Thanks for the responses.

    Kelly, good luck in the 2ww. Hopefully this month will work for you.

    Before I started, I had multiple tests, including as HSG. Everything on my end checked out great, according to the doctor. This last cycle, which was my first on clomid, I had a follicle that measured 23mm. That was the only cycle that I've had an ultrasound prior to the IUI, so I'm not sure about the rest. I have no health issues, I'm actually pretty healthy. My weight is not as low as I'd like, but I'm not obese.

    The numbers on my donor have also been great every time. That makes it even more frustrating.

    I'm currently in the process of talking things over with my partner. We're going to take another look at our 2nd and 3rd choice donors, and possibly a few others.

    Megan
  • momx2momx2 Posts: 134
    I am so sorry. I had 7 failed IUI's, dp had 6 and it sucks and 1 failed IVF before our second ivf worked...it is so hard to not be able to understand why it was not working.
    You are in my thoughts!
  • MistyandCarlaMistyandCarla Posts: 720
    Well, it sounds as if you're doing everything right...that makes it that much more frustrating!

    In my opinion, I would consider researching another donor.

    Good luck in your decision and KUP!
  • Sweet Pea 11Sweet Pea 11 Posts: 41
    I started looking at other donors last night, and have narrowed the original 95 down to 35. I still have a lot of work to do, but I've made progress. With the last sperm bank, some donors had current photos available. This was the case with the donor that we were using. It was nice because I could see what he looks like now, not just a baby picture. I think that's what I'm struggling with the most right now. I really liked that I had a current photo, but if I choose a donor from this sperm bank, I won't have that.
  • wjlsbt@yahoo.comwjlsbt@yahoo.com Posts: 82
    Hang in there Sweet Pea,
    It will all work out ok no matter what you decide. You will make the right decision.
    I have had 2 failed ICI's with one being Ectopic. 2 failed live donor ICI's and 1 failed IUI last year. I took a year off and found my FSH levels to be high so now with 1 IUI vial left...I am meeting with my RE to discuss my options for my next IUI window the end of this month. So, I can relate and know how frustrating it can be especially when you feel symptoms and are not sure if it's you or the process was successful. I keep positive about it all because I know I'm supposed to be a mommy. I've felt it all my life and you too will have success if you just stay positive and if it's something you really want...you won't give up.

    Buck up little camper...there's a baby waiting for you to be it's mom.

    -Wendy
  • barbbbarbb Posts: 31
    Sweet Pea,

    Wish I had something to say that would make you feel better - just that I understand what you're going through.

    I've had 7 failed IUIs myself - every test indicates that I shoud be pregnant right now, but I'm not.

    I'm thinking of IVF - maybe that's te way to go.

    I really hope this works out for you. A lot of people seem to have sucess with a new donor.

    Barb
  • Sweet Pea 11Sweet Pea 11 Posts: 41
    So, we've picked a different donor - 11604. Hopefully that will be the lucky number!

    I just finished my clomid yesterday and I'll have my IUI early next week. Hopefully all will go well.
  • CatchavezCatchavez Posts: 40
    Good luck sweet pea!

    I'm on my 2 WW on my 5th IUI so I understand. I did switch donors and this is my 2nd IUI (clomid and trigger shot)with this donor. My doc thinks switching is the way to go....we'll see.
    Ultimately, I hope for you that switching was the key!!
    1 week left for me.....I hope we BOTH become mommies soon!
  • Sweet Pea 11Sweet Pea 11 Posts: 41
    I had my 7th IUI today. After reading everything on here about testing more than once a day, I started getting nervous. My Dr's office seems very strict on testing in the morning and calling in by 7 am. If it doesn't work this time, I will definitely question them about testing more than once a day. I also tested this morning to see if I was still showing a surge and got nothing, so I'm worried that the timing is not going to be right this month. But I've never tested for a surge on the day of the IUI, so I have nothing to compare to. I'll need to do some research on that. This is my second month on clomid and my first month using a new donor, so hopefully everything will fall into place.
  • CatchavezCatchavez Posts: 40
    My doc is pretty strict about testing first thing and calling by 10 am so i understand your predicament. I have tested on the day of IUI before and got nothing (whereas the day before I got the surge indication). My doc said that was fine since the tests predict the impending ovulation.....
    I always felt (with my last iui attempts) that we were missing the timing somehow even though I'm monitored, it was just a weird feeling that i know its a timing issue. I addressed it with my nurse and last cycle, i did the trigger shot and I think I felt much better about the timing.
    Oddly, with the shot, I didn't even test for my surge, they did an US and measured the follicles and when they reached the right size, they did the tigger shot and I had my IUI 2 days later.
    Maybe this is something to consider in regards to timing and your comfortability.
    Well, I hope this is all a moot point anyway since you had your IUI today! Keep the positive thoughts flowing and take care of yourself during your 2WW.
    Good vibes and baby dust!!
  • cholland59411cholland59411 Posts: 105
    Hello Sweet Pea just wanted to let you know that our 5th IUI did not take. I am now back on clomid and awaiting the next IUI which will be #6. I think that I have decided that after #7 I will be moving on to IVF. I think that this may be the best thing for me. I can't afford to waist any more money on IUI. Let us know how things go for you and good luck and try to keep positive thoughts. Kelly
  • medellin72medellin72 Posts: 10
    Hello Sweet Pea,
    I too am on my 3rd IUI, and had 3 ICI and still nothing. So i understand about the roller coaster ride we have all experienced. I am on my last week of waiting and hoping this one took. I too have had all the test and same procedures. I am on my third donor... so frustrated...does any one know what BFP stands for? Anyway, good luck and don't be discouraged....

    Good luck,
    Maria
  • Sweet Pea 11Sweet Pea 11 Posts: 41
    So I tested today and got a BFN. I know it's still early, but I'm really depressed. I feel like it's never going to work for me. Now I'm waiting to see if/when AF shows.
  • MistyandCarlaMistyandCarla Posts: 720
    medellin72...BFP stands for Big Fat Positive...The one thing we are all waiting on! :)
    I'm sorry this is your third IUI, but you're still in it this month. Don't count yourself out so early!

    SweetPea11...How many dpiui are you? From what I count it's about 12...you still have time. Hang in there.
  • Sweet Pea 11Sweet Pea 11 Posts: 41
    Unfortunately, the test was right. AF showed Monday night/Tuesday morning. I guess I need to rename the thread 7th failed IUI. I have so many emotions right now...I'm really depressed. I don't know how many more times I can go through this. I feel like I live my life in 2 week cycles. I wait for the smiley face, then I wait for AF, then I wait for the smiley face,... Is it ever going to end?

    I talked to my coordinator and she said I can test for my surge more than once a day. I still need to do some research, but for those of you who test more than once a day, do you do your IUI the next day if you get a positive surge in the afternoon/evening?
  • cholland59411cholland59411 Posts: 105
    Hey Sweet Pea,
    Just wanted to let you know that I had a very special visit with my new Dr. I went in on Monday and Tuesday for my 6th IUI. I wanted my Dr. to listen to me for a very long time and finally I found one who would. I am very lucky and my insurance pays for my US's. I too only test once in the morning, but have read that many people test more often. I have always surged on day 14 and had cramps that afternoon. My old Dr. told me that was not possible it was too soon. So this time I went in on Monday and had my first + LH surge that morning we did IUI around 12 and we were going to do back to back so I had an appointmen already set up for tuesday. Tuesday my LH surge was - and told DR. and we did ultrasound before the IUI and I was right!! That feels so good to say that I am not crazy and I do cramp during ovulation and I know when it happens.The ultrasound proved that I had already ovulated so are timing was good. Got my fingers crossed. Good luck to you and make sure you keep your voice and let the Dr's know what you are feeling know one know's your body better than you. Kelly
  • MistyandCarlaMistyandCarla Posts: 720
    Sweet Pea...I'm sorry that you got another negative...that's terrible. And yes, you need to be testing more than once a day! I've posted this advise many many times on these boards. You need to be testing at least 3 times a day...we tested 4 times a day. Our cycle worked like this...CD14 negative all 4 times...CD15 tested around 5am - negative...tested at noon and it was postive. We went in for the IUI the next day at 9am. Bam...we were pregnant! If we had only tested once a day we wouldn't have gotten the positive surge until the next morning which means that we would have already been about 18 hours into ovulation! It's really important to catch it at the very beginning of the surge. I also suggest using digital tests...the others are to "iffy".

    Good luck!

    cholland...Yes, you absolutely can feel yourself ovulate. It just takes time to listen to your body and know what it's doing during the different stages of your cycle.
  • Sweet Pea 11Sweet Pea 11 Posts: 41
    MandC -
    I wish I would have found this site and your advice 7 cycles ago! But I've found it now, and hopefully it is beneficial this cycle.

    I'm due to start testing on Saturday, with IUI probably Monday or Tuesday. I agree with the digital tests - definitely worth the investment! By testing multiple times a day, it seems like I will probably be doing the IUI a day earlier than usual. Does anyone know how long the sperm can live after thaw/IUI? I've found different numbers online.

    I also have an appointment next Thursday with the doctor to discuss what happens if this cycle is unsuccessful, since this will be my 3rd on 50 of clomid. Hopefully I won't need to worry about what will happen if this cycle doesn't work!
  • ualtiggerualtigger Posts: 589
    Sweet Pea 11: Good luck girlfriend... we just had a success story on our message boards... took her ELEVEN times... and her beta numbers are rising as we speak. Don't give up!!

    AFM: Waiting for the heifer, AF, so I can have my next IUI. Had a LOT of things to clear so I'm good now.
  • MistyandCarlaMistyandCarla Posts: 720
    Sweet Pea 11...good luck, dear! Hopefully this will be it for you!
  • Sweet Pea 11Sweet Pea 11 Posts: 41
    I'm currently on CD15. I've been testing 4 times a day since Sunday (CD 13) and twice a day before that. I usually test around 5, 9:30, 2, and 7-8. Now I'm starting to get frustrated because I haven't gotten a positive. My last two cycles I got a positive on the morning of CD15 and the cycle before that was the morning of CD14. I'm trying not to stress myself out, but it's hard. I'm worried about what day I'll need to take off work. I hate not knowing when it's going to happen. I used my last stick last night with no positive. Then I had to go out to get more. The first drug store I went to they cost $40. I went two other places, neither had them. Finally I found some reasonably priced. Now I'm hoping I don't use all of them and still not have a positive! This roller coaster is killing me!
  • MistyandCarlaMistyandCarla Posts: 720
    I know it's not easy, but try not to stress...stress causes your body to do things that it normally wouldn't do...it could be delaying your surge.

    I know they are expensive, but they are worth it! Hopefully your positive surge will show up today...mine showed up at noon! :)

    Good luck and KUP.
  • Sweet Pea 11Sweet Pea 11 Posts: 41
    I tested this morning and still had a negative. Then I tested at lunch, about 12:15, and got a positive! I called to schedule my IUI, but they sounded slightly confused/irritated that I hadn't called by 7am. I had to leave a message with my coordinator. Now I'm waiting for a call back. Hopefully they'll let me do the IUI tomorrow. I also have my consultation appt with the doctor tomorrow afternoon, incase this cycle doesn't work. Too bad that appt is in a different office!
  • Sweet Pea 11Sweet Pea 11 Posts: 41
    Well, I'm in. IUI at 9 tomorrow morning. Then the consultation at 2:45. After that, another long TWW!
  • MistyandCarlaMistyandCarla Posts: 720
    Sweet Pea 11...OMG, that's exactly the same timing that I had...a noon positive and a 9am insemination!!!!!!!!! Hopefully this will give you the same results that it gave me!!!!!!!!! Now, aren't you glad you tested more than once a day? :) I'm so excited for you! Be sure to get plenty of rest after the IUI...I was just exhausted post IUI and I also had cramping for 2 days...I hardly got off the couch for 48 hours.

    KUP!
  • Sweet Pea 11Sweet Pea 11 Posts: 41
    MandC - As soon as they scheduled my IUI for 9, I thought of you! Maybe that's the perfect timing!

    Yesterday was very busy for me. After the IUI, I had my consultation with the doctor. She talked about my options, but since my insurance covers nothing, anything besides what I'm doing now will be thousands more. I'm not sure what I'll do if this one doesn't work, but I'm trying not to think about that, because it is going to work...I hope. I'm also on prometrium this time. The doctor said it can't hurt. I just started this morning, so hopefully there are no nasty side effects.

    I talked to the doctor about the timing, and she mentioned that frozen sperm can live up to 3 days. Most of what I've read states shorter life spans, so I don't know what to believe!

    Good luck to everyone else this trying this month!
  • ualtiggerualtigger Posts: 589
    Perhaps it is... that 9 a.m. thing... even though I was BFN, I got scheduled about that time also... but I also didn't know about all the problems that I had... otherwise I would have gotten everything done that I have BEFORE the first IUI. Here's to hoping everything works out okay!!
  • MistyandCarlaMistyandCarla Posts: 720
    Sweet Pea...my suggestion is not to worry about the "what if's"...take this one day at a time. You could spend the next two weeks worrying about how you will pay for the next step and then get a BFP...think of all the energy waisted. Spend your time having positive thoughts and thinking about the little life that you have growing inside you. :)

    KUP on any symptoms!
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