New - Suggestions on sperm selection?

BumbleBBumbleB Posts: 2
in Single Mothers by Choice
Hi,

Just joined the site today. I'm 41 and have been thinking/prepping for this for the last 6 months. For my next doctor's appointment (next week), she wants me to be prepared with sperm selection questions.

I have to say it is kind of overwhelming. Part of me just want to select something good enough and not overthink it. The other part of me wants to do "a good job" selecting. :-) Any suggestions on key things to look for other than idiosyncratic stuff?

Also, does anyone know if you have to rest a cycle between IUI cycles? Between IVF cycles?

Thanks!!!

Comments

  • ladihowkladihowk Posts: 12
    Hi there, I saw your discussion and you joined on my sons first birthday. I was in your shoes 2 years ago, single and ready to start my family at the age of 35. I encourage anyone to do it as my son has brought so much joy. I am very close to my mom and sister and we are in the medical field so the 3 of us sat down at the computer screen with an odd approach. I looked at it medically trying to avoid the donors that had similar issues like a family history of diabetes. I was looking for like ancestry though. I had some donors highlighted then bought the baby pictures. I totally recommend it. Even looking back its easy to see where my sons curls come from. I got pregnant on the first go round so I do not know the specifics on cycles.
    Good luck to you.
  • tffotffo Posts: 94
    Hi! Congrats on making the decision to go for it! I'm 41 and I just had my son 2 months ago. I am so glad I made the choice to become a single mom!

    So, I'm one of those that took picking a donor very seriously. I just kept thinking about my child one day looking at all the info and I wanted them to know I tried my best. That said, the most important thing to me was health. I looked through the health histories of my picks and ruled out any sort of mental illness (depression, addiction, eating disorders), chronic diseases, and any that looked suspiciously blank because I figured those people either didn't know the answers or were lying.

    Health histories and the audio interviews were the two things that helped me finalize my choice. The audio interviews make all the difference! There were some donors I thought I loved until I heard them talk. And I approached it like if I was 18 and hearing my "dad" talk for the first time, how would I feel if it was him?

    To narrow it down to get to that point though, I started simple. I knew I wanted an open donor and he needed to be cmv negative (cmv is not an issue if you're doing ivf). That cut it down a lot. I didn't care about hair or eye color but I really wanted a donor who was at least 6' so that cut it down even more. I also looked for donors that had already graduated college just because it showed they could complete something.

    My suggestion would be to start with one must have and go from there. I thought I wanted a science guy but I ended up picking someone creative like me. If I had stuck to just science majors I would've missed the one I clicked with the most.
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