Terrified to try again...after miscarriage

pols12pols12 Posts: 177
in Share Your Experience
So, after our miscarriage in May, I felt certain that I wanted to begin trying again asap. After all, a healthy baby and sibling for our daughter was what we have been planning and trying for.

Then last month, after a very painful AF (first since miscarriage), my wife and I decided we weren't ready...both physically and emotionally. Now with the return of AF again yesterday, my mind and my heart can't seem to come to an agreement. In my mind, I am eager to try again, to move forward with our plan to,grow our family. But in my heart, I am terrified of losing another baby. I have felt the most profound sadness as I have grieved our loss and can't imagine going through that again...but I know that it is a possibility.

I am writing this in hopes that someone can identify with my experience and maybe share your thoughts. Thanks in advance.

Comments

  • normies19normies19 Posts: 30
    Hi pols12, I believe we were chatting in another group forum.

    Believe me I have been In the same position. This was my first pregnancy and first miscarriage. It has not been easy to move forward at all. I still get emotional and cry but I know that everything has a purpose and I think positive. AF came a few weeks after the D & C. Everything has gotten back to normal but last month AF was crazy. As eager as I was start again, I had so much emotions and concerns of course. But thanks to my Husband I have learned to let it go and relax and at the end of this month we will be starting the process again. Of course with any pregnancies we don't want the worse to happen ( I know with mine a piece of me also died but I'm happy to know that we have a lil angel waiting for us). Our limit though would be 3 tries only. I told my husband that I can't keep going the hardache of it all. So if all fails then we would look into adoption.

    Just be positive and know that there will be bumps in the road that we have to overcome. And don't let this tragedy stop you. It will be hard but be thankful that you have a lil miracle girl already with you at home :) Good luck
  • RI MommaRI Momma Posts: 5
    Dear Pols12,

    I too was pregnant in May and miscarried in June. It is totally normal to feel sad, scared and every other emotion you might be feeling. I try to help myself feel better by thinking that maybe the baby wasn't going to be healthy. Somehow my body knew what needed to happen for a healthy baby and pregnancy.

    It can be challenging to trust that everything happens for a reason. Know that you are stronger for experiencing this and that you are empowered to create your fertility journey…whether it be trying again soon or waiting until the time is just right.

    It sounds like mentally you want to try again but emotionally, you are scared of the loss and sadness that comes with a possible miscarriage. Take some deep breathes and trust that YOU will know when the time is right for you and your family.

    Blessings to you,
    Kelly
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