Single mother at a young age

BabysoonBabysoon Posts: 10
in Single Mothers by Choice
Hi Everyone,

I'm 25 and debating going into single motherhood. I have a great family and want nothing more than to have my own baby. Am I being a bit premature in making this decision? I know that I still have plenty of time. I also know this is not a phase or something I will change my mind on. What do you ladies think? Am I too young to make this decision yet?
Secondly, as anyone chose to inseminate at home? I think that is the best option for me at this time.

Comments

  • ah_511ah_511 Posts: 80
    That's a tough choice. My doctor did say this would be a much better chance if I were younger. Also everyone always told me I was worrying for nothing and I had plenty of time and now here I am 37 not married and struggling to conceive. Personally I wish I would have done it sooner but 25 seems young. Only you know what is best for you. Good luck.
  • missmamamissmama Posts: 32
    Hi there!

    I'm 24 and planning to have my first IUI in September 2015. A lot of people will say we are too young but I don't feel my age and never have.

    I also don't feel like I should have to be married or in a relationship to be a parent. I have my life in order and will soon have my BA. I put off actively trying for 2 years. I waited for the guy. I tried the "normal" thing. I didn't like it. lol.

    I out off trying because I met someone I saw potential with. It didn't last and I was bitter because of it. I lost a year of TTC on someone not worth it. I'm not doing that again.

    I'm in a better place now in life and don't want to put things off any longer. :)
  • Elle32077Elle32077 Posts: 21
    Even though I've always been mature for my age, there is no way I could have handled a child in my early 20s, especially financially. However, if you can do it, that's fabulous and very lucky :)
  • LotusLadyLotusLady Posts: 3
    Hi so what did you decide? I'm 32 and I'm already on my way to single mom-hood.
  • valentinevalvalentineval Posts: 10
    I think you just know in your heart of it is time. I am wanted to be a single mom by choice when I was 27. I wanted to wait until I turned 30 to try but it didn't work out that way. I visited my RE for the first time in November 2013 and I started doing all the tests and stuff right away. I did my first IUI in August 2014. I had three failed IUI's and finally I tried again this year. I am 29 years old and I got my very first pregnancy on April 11th! I know this choice was right for me and if you feel like it is right for you then it is.
  • The1KCBThe1KCB Posts: 18
    I'm 26 years old and a week shy of 8 months pregnant. I chose to be a single mom by choice because I wanted nothing more than to be a mom and felt in my heart it was the right time for me. My family and friends are extremely supportive so it made the decision to do it now that much easier.

    Also, my IUI took on the first try, unmedicated. I had my IUI done at my house by a midwife. If you feel the timing is right in your heart then by all means go for it. :)
  • BabysoonBabysoon Posts: 10
    I think I am going to go for it, within the year. I work with children and want nothing more than one of my own. I have supportive people around me. I doubted it mostly because of my child growing up with only one parent but with supportive people I think he or she will do just fine.
  • gauthhngauthhn Posts: 8
    I first knew I wanted to be a mom - single or married - at about 25 years old. Over the next several years I RESEARCHED talked to other SMCs and SAVED money!!! I thought of my journey as a series of steps....I wanted to emotionally prepare and finacially prepare for a child!!! I am VERY happy I did!!! At 31 I felt ready to be a single mother!!! And thank God I did!!! Between fertility /IVF/ NICU/ And PT I have spent well over 50 thousand dollars!!! (My NICU bill was 500k before insurance - can't complain - lol)

    I feel VERY strongly that if u CHOOSE to be a parent you are taking on a VERY speck responsibility in every way ...ask yourself, " if a doctor came in your exam room and said twin B will probably not survive 24 hrs if you don't deliver today and twin A will die if u do deliver..." Could u handle this making these choices??? Being a parent starts at conception and it is very hard and even MORE rewarding!!!!

    I don't know u or how ready you are to take this journey...being a SMC is the best thing I ever did and I fully recommend anyone who is REALLY ready to take this path!!! Only u can do a self inventory and know if u are ready!
  • KristanBDAKristanBDA Posts: 6
    I am 32 and will be starting my journey this summer. I'm looking forward to it. I know nothing about this but I will be meeting with my doctor to go over everything.

    I'm ready in my life now.
  • CommonDCommonD Posts: 7
    KristianBDA are you from Bermuda?
  • DoingItAloneDoingItAlone Posts: 62
    The1KCB I was wondering if it was truly possible to get pregnant with IUI without medications. I am 31 and my first IUI will be in September, my doctor is not doing medication because he said right now he has no reason to believe there will be any issues. Healthy, Young, In shape. I felt he was playing with me. but seeing that you did it gives me hope it is possible! Congrats!
  • KristanBDAKristanBDA Posts: 6
    Yes). ??
  • aleolivaaleoliva Posts: 2
    I am 29, taking the first steps for IVF. I think you should wait at least a few years. Give Mr Right Guy some chance to show up.
  • aleighaleigh Posts: 6
    I am also 29 SMBC started the process at 27 however it has been a rough journey. I just tried my 8th IUI. I have unfortunatly had two early miscarriages. I say go for it. If you know in your heart that you want a baby in your life then I would say don't wait. Baby dust to you all. Good luck on your journey.
  • wonderlustwonderlust Posts: 10
    Let me just tell you this story. A few years ago my friends were having a party. One of the friends was talking about how even if she didn't meet a man she was still going to have kids.another friend said that's a terrible idea. Now mind you the friend that Saud it was a terrible idea got pregnant by a guy that wasn't involved. Later once the child was nine she met a wonderful man that adopted her boy. I said to her how can you say having a kid on your own is a terrible idea. You wouldn't trade your son just because you are were single. She said no it was just really hard. My point being is that life goes on whether or not you get married and have a baby or have a baby and then get married or never get married..you will love that child regardless. Ideally it is better to have children younger because you have more energy for them but being older is good too for financial reasons however you will find a way to make it work even on a limited income just like thousands of other moms do..do what's in your heart!
  • SunshineLoverSunshineLover Posts: 25
    "Mister Right" will love you whether you have a child or not. It will not stop him and it will not stop you.

    I am 30 years old. I have a boyfriend who has been in the picture for 6 years. I love every bit of him but he does not want children. I was made to be a mother. I weighed the pros and cons for a long time. I finally decided that becoming a mother is more important than staying in a relationship.

    I had my first IUI last week. I have no idea what will happen with this relationship. I do know that I will make an amazing parent with or without him.

    30 was the wake up age for me. As long as you consider yourself to be an adult and act like an adult, you are old enough to be a great mom even if you start off as a single by choice mom.
  • mybabybug16mybabybug16 Posts: 15
    Only you can know what is right. If you feel you are ready then by all means go for it. In my early 30's my parents told me they would support me if I wanted to go down this direction. They knew that being a mom was the most important thing to me and I've never had luck with finding a man. Well, at the time I decided that I would wait because I wanted that husband and bring a child into the world with him. Now, I'm 39, still single, and running out of time. I should have started when I was younger. I've run into complications and pray every day that this will happen for me.

    Long story short. Don't wait too long. If this is what you want and you've thought it through then go for it!
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