concerned about changing donors

megbnursemegbnurse Posts: 25
in Ask California Cryobank
Hi I have a question. My husband and I have gone 4 tries with donor 13533 without success..one round on letrozole and ovidrel.. all my testing has been normal but this is getting very expensive and mostly disappointing for us... I feel like I should change donors but finding this one was very difficult and emotional and I am torn but am feeling like its the donors fault at this point. Do you recommend I switch or should most all your donors be similar in their ability to impregnate? He has no reported pregnancies yet which concerns me but it could be too soon? Thank you

Comments

  • parisnyparisny Posts: 73
    Hi there - CCB may have another answer for you but FWIW, my RE told me that it's not just the quality of a sperm -- it's how a sperm reacts with YOUR egg. If you've tried with this donor 4x already, I know my RE would suggest you move on. I think CCB can help you find a donor with many of the same qualities that you love so much in your donor.

    Wishing you the very best of luck!
  • megbnursemegbnurse Posts: 25
    Hey thank you very much for your advice! I am very torn! I will wait and see what CCB says but I will take that into consideration. Its a hard decision..ugh!!!
    Its just hard to think that a certain sperm doesnt react well with a certain egg- if you are doing natural with a spouse how do you know when you choose that person that their sperm will react with your egg- and millions of people get pregnant naturally so it seems like sperm is sperm but maybe not?? so complicated!!! haha
  • SweetthearttSweettheartt Posts: 373
    I'm so glad I saw this post. CCB will tell u any donor is capable of getting you pregnant at any time. Maybe that's true. But I followed the message boards closely and I saw time and time again women try and try with a particular donor and have no success, switch donors and get pregnant immediately. So when I got attached to a donor and tried three times with no success I decided it wasn't meant to be. I developed a new philosophy, each donor got a one shot try. It's silly to get so attached to the donor. You don't know this person. If you interviewed them in real life maybe you would like someone else more. Anyway I tried with the first one three times, different donor once, third donor got me pregnant. Believe me the donor who gets you pregnant will take on special, magical qualities.
  • megbnursemegbnurse Posts: 25
    Hi Sweettheartt Thank you so very much for your post. I think you are right- and I kinda came to that same conclusion over the weekend- asked myself why am I so dedicated to this donor?? I dont know him- there are tons of them to choose from, so why do I feel the need to try a FIFTH time with this random donor? I need to change! So we picked a new one.. so crossing fingers for this next IUI with a new donor! I just need a fresh hope to cling to, after 4 times I'm over this donor I dont care if it isnt even the sperm thats the problem but I just can't do it again.
    Thank you again!!
  • SweetthearttSweettheartt Posts: 373
    So who did you choose?
  • megbnursemegbnurse Posts: 25
    13765
  • SweetthearttSweettheartt Posts: 373
    He seems like a great choice but I could not help but notice that he has such a different look than your last donor. What were you looking for?
  • megbnursemegbnurse Posts: 25
    Yes he's actually more similar to my husbands look- my husband has indian in him/caucasian and has black hair since he was a baby- last donor was more blonde and fair- but we liked him so went with it- we like this one and he happens to have darker features as well which works out.
  • parisnyparisny Posts: 73
    Megbnurse -- I don't know who you had before but 13765 is a "heartthrob" and smart, too. GREAT DONOR!!!! Best of luck to you!
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