I need a pep talk.

MumsyMumsy Posts: 11
in Single Mothers by Choice
Can anyone offer some words of support? I'm down in the dumps from all this fertility stress. When I first started this journey last summer, I did all the tests and was told by my RE that all is well, no issues. But several months of IUIs later, and here I am popping clomid, injecting myself with hormones, shoving even more hormones up my lady parts, and still not even a glimmer of hope.

Today I got my progesterone levels back and it was only 4.3 so back to more suppositories twice a day for the next week or so, til they do another blood test to say that I'm not pregnant again. I'm worn out from all this.

How can I go from super fertile to all these hormones and no pregnancies?? I don't understand how this is possible and all I'm getting out of this so far is crazy from meds, fat from hormones, poor from the fertility expenses, and depressed from the process.

Please help!! I'm losing faith.

Comments

  • MsMaryTMsMaryT Posts: 54
    Oh mumsy, I'm sorry, it sounds like you've had a tough go!

    I'm not sure I can offer much of a pep talk since I'm pretty much in a similar feeling place right now but I know the success stories here keep me hopeful.

    How many IUIs have you done? Have you been able to identify possible issues with each try or does it remain unexplained?

    Fingers crossed for your positive blood test next week!!!
  • austingurlaustingurl Posts: 202
    Okay, pep talk time. You can do this!!! And it is so worth all the injections, the "shoving hormones up your lady parts" (I love that line), and everything you are doing. It is worth every last second of every single heartache this process causes.
    I did 4 IUIs medicated with femara. Then 1 IUI with femara and injections. I got pregnant and miscarried at 8 weeks. I went right back at it with femara and injections. I got pregnant with twins on #6. I went into early labor at 23 weeks and 6 days. My twins were born weighing 1lb 7oz and 1lb 3oz. My son died 17 hours later. I miss him everyday and am heartbroken about his loss, but my daughter is doing amazing. She is currently on day 102 of her NICU stay and is targeted to come home 4/5 (her due date). I just took the NICU discharge class this morning. And even with all the craziness over this past year, with all the ups and down, with all the complete heartache, with all the days when I didn't want to get out of bed and I just wanted to crawl under my covers, they are forgotten anytime I hold that little girl and see her fighting so hard in NICU. My girl is a fighter. She gets it from me:) We are all fighters. Our babies are so loved and wanted before they are even conceived. I can't wait to tell her the story of her birth. I have kept a journal since I started trying, so she can read all my emotions during this entire process. She will know she gets that fight from me. I fought hard to have her, and she fought to live. We are quite the force to be reckoned with:) Your baby will be the same one day. One day, it will be worth it all. One day, you will tell your baby the story of their birth and smile thinking how hard you fought and how thankful you are you kept at it. Your baby will know they are loved because you wanted them so badly. Heck, my baby isn't even out of NICU, and I am already thinking "I want to do this again in 2 years." It's worth it!!!! Keep at it!!!
  • BanditBandit Posts: 348
    Mumsy... I am with Austingirl. You can do it and it is totally worth it. It is hard and frustrating but your time will come. It is a stressful process and that takes a toll on your body as well. I got frustrated as well and then found out I was pregnant. I would also look into your insurance and see if it covers it. Each state is different and my state had to cover me after 6 tries of IUI or something like that. Also the new Health care laws may help you out. I along with Austingirl had a premie baby and the 42 days in the NICU was hard but so worth it. I look at my amazing son and think that what ever I went through to bring him into this world was worth all of the things that I had to go threw for him. Your time will come and it will be amazing as well. Keep the faith. Do something for yourself, acupuncture a massage or something. Relax (easier said than done) and keep busy. I know you have been it will happen when the time is right.
  • jaimecjaimec Posts: 329
    Hang in there Mumsy! I had 9 IUI's, 1 successful but I miscarried at 12 weeks. I'm on IVF now and am bruised all over from stomach and butt injections (and also tired of shoving things up my lady parts). I think everyone in our situation has their down times of wondering why this isn't working for us....there is nothing wrong with taking a break from trying if that is what you need. We are all here to listen to each other vent, work through it and move on to the next month. And believe me, I completely understand the weight gain and depression....and I know all the hormone injections don't help emotionally. Hugs to you!!
  • EbbieEbbie Posts: 40
    I can totally relate. So bummed out right now. Keep your chin up.
  • MumsyMumsy Posts: 11
    Thanks so much for your supportive words. You have all been so helpful and kind during such an emotional roller coaster! You are all such amazingly strong women - your strength and determination are giving me hope as I'm reading your stories.

    Quick update - I got the dreaded "it didn't work again" news on Tuesday. I've decided to take a month or two off, to rejuvenate my mind and body before jumping back into the baby-making race. Figured if I'm feeling physically healthy and emotionally strong again, hopefully that will increase my chances of conceiving. So thanks again for listening to my call for help, and best of luck with your journeys :)
  • nisedmnisedm Posts: 87
    Mumsy, I am thinking of taking a break as well after my next round. 5 try's is enough for me to want a break for a month or two. I wish you well on your rejuvenation.
  • BanditBandit Posts: 348
    Mumsy try some acupuncture in those two months. It will help your body get "regulated" and prep for the upcoming insemination. Good luck.
  • eeh876eeh876 Posts: 168
    Mumsy, I don't know how many tries you are on, but I had a clean bill of fertility health as well. It took me three unmedicated cycles, one with trigger, one with Clomid, a month break, one more with Clomid, and a mini breakdown complete with a trip to see a counselor as I watched so many people around me get pregnant so easily. I finally got pregnant on the 6th try.

    I know that it takes other people much longer to get there, but even 6 tries was a long process when they can't tell you why it isn't working. But now I have a sweet 5 month old girl sitting in my lap trying to reach the computer keys. ;-)

    Enjoy your break, because you need it. One thing that helped me was talking to a professional about my fears and concerns, and getting my ducks in a row in other parts of my life; after that the next try took!

    Good luck!!
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