45 trying for first pregnancy

EbbieEbbie Posts: 40
in Single Mothers by Choice
Anyone out there in the older bracket and trying for their first pregnancy? I always thought I would have children but then waited for that special guy with whom to start a family. He did not come along so I decided to try this on my own. Now I'm afraid I have waited too long. Thinking my 3rd IUI has not worked and my RE now will only proceed with donor eggs. Anyone of you have experience or feedback? Thank you
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Comments

  • nettibugnettibug Posts: 118
    It isn't my first PG but I am PG with my own eggs after fourth IVF (turned 44 during cycle). And I had lunch with a friend today who is 49 and PG from FET after having a baby with her own eggs at 47. IMHO you are wasting precious time with IUI's - every month counts at our age - but whether or not you need DE depends on your numbers and protocol. And hopefully you have an RE who is experienced and willing to work with women >40 (my RE would tell me to consider DE but said he would keep going as long as I wanted with my own eggs).
  • BanditBandit Posts: 348
    Ebbie, I got pregnant at 42 with just IUI. I have a friends who are 47 plus who got pregnant as well but I think they used IVF. Good luck.
  • EbbieEbbie Posts: 40
    Nettiebug and Anissa, thank you much for your responses. Do you both have excellent ovarian reserve? I would love to try IVF with my eggs, but my RE says my ovarian reserve is poor and they won't do any IVF. Nettibug, congrats on your pregnancy and do you know if your friend had good ovarian reserve?
  • nettibugnettibug Posts: 118
    My AMH was 0.63 over a year ago (I have no idea what it is now). My friend never had hers checked.
  • EbbieEbbie Posts: 40
    Nettiebug, thank you for your response. My AMH is about 1/2 yours so maybe that is probably the difference in approaches. I've had 2 surgeries along with endometriosis, adendomyosis and fibroids so maybe mine is lower due to poorer environment and age. I'm still checking other sources to make sure my eggs are not an option. Thank you.
  • BanditBandit Posts: 348
    Ebbie, I have no idea on what I had. I did go to an Fertility Clinic when I first thought about this, but I thought it was very business like and not warm and friendly. I found a doctor who just does IUI's and no tests etc, when you see him. He was wonderful. He is well known in the same sex relationships for getting women pregnant.

    I will be honest I am an anomaly as I got pregnant right away.

    Good luck.
  • emg40emg40 Posts: 35
    Ebbie,
    I am in a very similar situation. I am almost 41 and have waited too long for the right guy. Now my AMH is 0.29 and I am hearing all about the need for IVF and donor eggs. However, my insurance doesn't cover any fertility at all, and I don't have the financial resources to do IVF and certainly can't afford donor eggs. I saw another doctor yesterday, who is willing to help me try some IUIs, but said I should definitely use injectable medication. He said my chances would be "low to moderate". If you feel as though you want to keep trying with your own eggs, consider looking for another doctor. I hope you are successful with whatever you try. Don't give up yet--I am in the same boat and still hoping.
  • emg40emg40 Posts: 35
    Ebbie,
    I was just wondering what you have decided to do at this point.
  • nisedmnisedm Posts: 87
    Ebbie,

    Good luck, I would say go with IVF. If your insurance won't pay you can look into the clinic you are using. Sometimes they allow payment plans. Also look at what your home state requires for insurance. IL and WI require infertility services to be covered, your insurance might be giving you the run around. My insurance did at first. I know the whole thing is lots to deal with on your own, I found a friend who is my confidant with the whole trying to get pregnant thing. The blog page is good to, we all understand here.
  • EbbieEbbie Posts: 40
    emg40, Thanks for your comments! I am not sure what I am going to do at this point. I am still trying to decide how I want to proceed. Are you going to try IUI with injectables?
    nisedm, I wish I was in WI if they require infertility services be covered! Thanks for the support.
    nettibug, where is your RE?
  • emg40emg40 Posts: 35
    Ebbie,
    I am thinking that financially I will only be able to try two IUIs with injectables and maybe one try with just Femara (my doctor uses Femara instead of Clomid). Obviously, I want to be successfuland cost effective, if I can--so I intend to discuss my plan with my doctor when I see him in June to start my first cycle.
    Where are you located?
  • DutchTulipDutchTulip Posts: 24
    Dear Ebbie,

    I just read this thread. I'm 42 (and 5 months) and have done 8 unsuccessful IUI cycles (2 natural, 1 clomid and 5 Gonal-F) between age 39 and 42. My AMH and FSH are great (1.6 and 4.5, respectively) and everything else seems to be working fine.

    I'm getting ready for my first IVF (acupuncture, Chinese herbs, royal jelly/bee pollen, meditation - you name it!) now.

    I highly regret having "wasted" valuable time and resources on IUIs. The reason why I continued the last few cycles was because I really don't want to go through IVF and I was hoping I could be that 8-10% for whom an IUI over age 40 works.

    In general, "they" say that if after 3 IUI cycles you are not pregnant moving on to IVF might be the most efficient step to take. At this point, I agree.

    There are IVF payment plans/clinics with special first-time rates/state grants, so do your research and you might find something that suits your situation.

    Good luck!
    DT
  • angellightangellight Posts: 1
    Hi, all of these posts are so helpful. I just did my 2nd IUI at age 44, and got a negative preg test today..:( The clinic I'm using in ALB seems to not monitor me as well as they could. My ovarian reserve levels came back very low. I am still ovulating every cycle- I get a peak day 12-but my cycles are shorter now, 24, 25 days instead of 28. The clinic told me not to bother with progesterone at my first meeting! They had me go ahead with my IUI's without any medication support. After my first IUI I asked again about progesterone, and they had me tested a week later,(!) to see, oh yes, I need progesterone! They never tested me for FSH- I just learned about it here on your thread. Now, I see from reading all the posts on the single mom question board that perhaps I may be wasting my time with IUI. I don't have the funds to do IVF right now. I have started acupuncture and herbs now with a wonderful acupuncturist. I am very healthy in general. I will try clomid at some point...although my acupuncturist wants me to hold off for now and wait 6 weeks to do herbs and acupuncture before trying again. Now that I see some comments here, I am wondering if maybe there is a better clinic than the one I have? The clinic I'm going to is the only one in NM and seems like an incredibly busy conveyor belt. I don't feel like they are giving me the advice and help and monitoring I should have. Thank you for your advice! Blessings
  • nisedmnisedm Posts: 87
    Angel my advice what don't wait. Your already 44 and fighting the clock. If you reserve is already low, I would try with meds. That is just my personal opinion.
  • BanditBandit Posts: 348
    angel...

    I did not use a "big" clinic like you mentioned they are a conver belt. I found a doctor that just does IUI's. I got pregnant at 42 doing IUI with no meds. I did do acupuncture for years and when I told my acupuncturist I wanted to get pregnant he prepped my body for it. I did not take herbs but I do not like to put anything in my body including advil or Tylenol unless I am suffering.

    You can also look into the GLBT community they may have another doctor they use. That is how I found mine. He just wanted to get woman pregnant and did not charge a lot.

    Good luck.
  • EbbieEbbie Posts: 40
    DT, thank you for your comments. My RE would only allow 3 IUI's and then recommended donor eggs. I am unsure how I wish to proceed at this point. I would have loved to have been allowed to do IVF but was told the chances were worse than IUI given the egg would be outside the body and then have less chance of survival given my low AMH.
    Angel, I would be as aggressive as possible with each cycle and find an RE you feel supports you.
    Best wishes to all!
  • SweetthearttSweettheartt Posts: 373
    My cousin's AMH level was .1 something. She got pregnant the first time using IUI and acupuncture.
  • BanditBandit Posts: 348
    To all... I highly recommend acupuncture and to relax. Stressing will not help. I swear that my acupuncturist got me pregnant right away. Now I am thinking of baby number 2 and my son is only 8 months old and I will be 44 on Tuesday. Good luck to all.
  • AW1AW1 Posts: 19
    I am! I'm much older than you are and I'm trying to conceive with IVF for the first time, with my own egg and a sperm donor whom I've just selected. (Yikes!) I'm straight, currently single and thus far my life circumstances just didn't present the opportunity for parenthood. I simply decided that I don't wish to go through life without having a child, so I'm giving it my best shot right now. If my own egg fails, I'll move on to a donor egg, but so far I have decent follicles so I'm guardedly hopeful. I would indeed suggest IVF after age 45, simply because your eggs are now more difficult for sperm to penetrate. I also recommend finding the best fertility clinic available to you. Good luck! :)
  • EbbieEbbie Posts: 40
    Happy Birthday, Anissa! Hope all goes well AW1!
  • nettibugnettibug Posts: 118
    For anyone over 40 trying IVF (or tried only IUI and told needed DE) I highly recommend going to an IVF board and spending as much time as you can learning and hearing others' experience. The one I use is on ivf dot ca (based in Canada but a lot of women from the states on there). Angellight and Ebbie IMHO you are wasting precious months on IUI's at this point.
  • kncolekncole Posts: 30
    I agree w/ Nettibug. Not only moving on to IVF and hearing other's experience. But seriously consider donor eggs if recommended. i found a board where many women shared their positive experiences using DE. Their only regrets were not doing it sooner (wasting time and money, not to mention the emotional expense).
  • EbbieEbbie Posts: 40
    AW1, any updates? My RE would not proceed with IVF with my eggs stating the pregnancy rates were even lower than my IUI's. I have low ovarian reserve. Bummer. Wishing you the best. I may be proceeding with donor eggs if I can gather the funds.
  • kncolekncole Posts: 30
    Good luck Ebbie. There are lots of women/couples sharing their positive experiences w/ DE. It helped me with my decision. (I'm 43)
  • ericasericas Posts: 1
    Hi this is ericas and I had my first IUI just last
    month and the results is not pregnant but my points is I chose California Cryobank to help me to get started my Family and I trusted them so much and also seems like they claim to be a number 1 of doctors and patients and have a Highest quality ,also 30 years of reproductive success .

    So anyway When time came to do the insemination it
    was discovered that the leader of sperm bank industry did not provided me with an adequate
    sample 1/10th of what was required .

    So everything was great until the sperm bank drop the ball and even my doctor was shocked .

    and also all the worked and preparation we did and then we get nothing what we paid for ..

    Please any suggestion out there what to do that would really help a lot to me ?

    I think they should pay my next procedure
    to make it this right !
  • Wally030306Wally030306 Posts: 156
    @ ericas...I am sorry to hear about your cycle last month...I know how hard it is to hear "you're not pregnant" after something you have tried so hard for and wanted so desperately. I know that CCB does have an excellent guarantee that they standby though...there is a form that you physician can fill out with the information from your sample. Once CCB receives it, if in fact the sample falls below their guarantee they will credit you for your vial(s). I know that this doesn't change your cycle last month, and it doesn't make the outcome any less heartwrenching...but at least all may not be lost.

    BABY DUST to you in the future!!!
  • chumina12chumina12 Posts: 12
    ebbie -what wad your AMH?
  • chumina12chumina12 Posts: 12
    ebbie -what wad your AMH?
  • chumina12chumina12 Posts: 12
    Hello Everyone,

    I'm 43 years old. I did an embryo transfer 5 days ago with my own biological egg and donor sperm. I am cautiously optimistic to say the least. The fact I made it this far is surprising within itself.

    I had one embryo transferred. and now, I am in the dreaded 2 week wait.. I find out Monday, June 29th if I am pregnant or not.

    The statistics are tough to look at and accept women are age with miscarriages etc.. But, I am truly hopeful everything will work out.

    My AMH was 0.8, FSH 7 two follicles - one egg (oocyte ) (very low stimulation protocol) chlomid and gonal F 4 shots.

    If anyone wants to chat privately .. I can be reached at alicia.gutierrez@me.com .. we can exchange numbers and go through this together so to speak.

    Baby Dust for you all and Wishing you all the very BEST of luck!!!!

    alicia
  • tashaetashae Posts: 2
    I'm 45, single and have a 4 month old baby. I used frozen donor egg and sperm after a year of failed IUIs and a miscarriage from age 43 to 44. This worked on the first try amazingly. If anyone wants to know more about donor eggs I am happy to share my experience. In short, I am thrilled - I have a beautiful, healthy baby.
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