Dating & TTC, part 2

KerrikerbyKerrikerby Posts: 19
in Single Mothers by Choice
OK, it's Kerri again ... i'm 39. my 1st IUI in March was unsuccessful and at the same time, i started dating Steve.

The plot has thickened and i'm just writing & venting my thoughts here .....

While i told him i was NOT going to "wait" for him, i may be having 2nd thoughts about that now. Timing is sorta crucial since my 2nd IUI is scheduled for this April 2+3.

Being 39, and experienced many failed relationships, I have a pretty good idea of reading men at this pt in my life. And steve can be someone that i can see myself having a future with. And he feels the same!! At 41, he, too, wants marriage & kids.

Do i take this IUI/month off, to see how things develop with steve?

or Do i just continue with my plans and get the IUI?

We had an open/honest discussion, part 2 this weekend. He said he's not sure how he'd feel if i tell him "i'm pregnant" ..... understandably so, of course. This is a freaky thing to guys, esp from men who seem to be "falling for" us TTCers.

Please also note, I am a strong Christian who is now struggling with "my timing" vs "God's timing" .... more so than ever, now that God has brought Steve into my life .....

God instilled in my heart the strong desire to be a mom. Yet, sent no man to me. Hence, my SMC decision. And NOW ..... he's sent Steve ......

Thoughts? (and please dont respond in any way if ur going to bash my strong Christian beliefs).

Thanks ladies,
Kerri ---

Comments

  • hannahahannaha Posts: 71
    Think and make your decision from your real feelings. You already have experiences in the previous relationships. No one can help you on this..:). Good Luck.
  • kklfamilykklfamily Posts: 32
    This is a tough situation. I honestly think that it is something you need to decide for yourself. You are a woman of God and I believe that by prayer, you will feel at ease about your decision once you have come to it. We are living in God's time so if it is His will that you become pregnant next month, you will pregnant next month... If he intends for you to wait and have a baby with Steve, then with God's timing, it will happen. I have been praying for guidance and for God to put me on His path and sometimes it is frustrating but for the most part, I know what He would have for me. Sometimes, it isn't the answer I want to hear, so I question it. I don't think that you will find the answer that is right for you, on this website. I suggest falling on your knees and make yourself vulnerable for Jesus and ask Him for the answer. Hope this helps,

    Kayla
  • samsmomsamsmom Posts: 47
    I still believe in the still voice of God. None of us can tell you what to do. I agree with Kayla, you should pray and seek God earnestly the next 2 days and ask what His will is for this situation. I will keep you in my prayers.
  • danimoni70danimoni70 Posts: 19
    Kerri,

    I think this is really a difficult situation but I also believe that you're in a very exciting time too. If you think about it, both of your dreams are right in front of you. You met a wonderful man, someone that you can talk to and share your dreams and aspirations. Most important, he seems to want to be a partner with you and it also appears that you both want the same thing--family. The other blessing is you're looking to have a baby--I'm sure another dream of yours!

    So this brings us back to what do you do? I agree that you pray but I also believe you ask yourself this one question: what do I want first--being a wife or being a mother? I would recommend that you then proceed with looking at timelines and maybe you say, I will give myself to the fall to date and get to know Steve--see how the relationship progresses.

    I understand completely where you are. I started my process of going to the RE, getting the tests and choosing my donor all in February. I've made my decision that I'm going forward with IUI in October. Then earlier this month, I met a guy--a really nice man who seems to be a man who I could fall in love with, etc. All my friends are asking, "Did you tell him about your plans?" And I haven't, I much rather wait and see how our relationship unfolds and the closer we become and develop a frienship of trust then I will share my plans.

    I know that I want a father for my child and I'm willing to wait another year and see what happens...well that is my two cents. God bless you!

    D
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