Deciding to "go it alone"

pineappleprincesspineappleprincess Posts: 3
in Single Mothers by Choice
Hi, I am 22 years old and am struggling with the decision to use donor sperm to start a family in a year or two. I was wondering if anyone has any input on how they decided to start trying to get pregnant as a single women. Am I crazy for thinking about this when I am only 22? But the truth is that I am not sure there is a "right one" out there for me and all I've ever wanted is to be a mom. Has anyone made the choice to be a single mom because they want to be a single mom and don't mind not having a partner? Of course, I would love to have a happily ever after but I am feeling that single parenthood is more my style. I want a baby because I want to be a parent and I don't need to be with someone to be a parent but I feel like it is less accepted by society to be a single mom at my age by choice and using a donor than the accidental "knocked up" that so often happens. I am afraid that making the decision to start trying to get pregnant on my own will be viewed as my giving up on finding someone to start a family with. Any responses?

Comments

  • hope2bmomsoonhope2bmomsoon Posts: 39
    I totally understand what you are saying. I have always wanted to be a mom since I was in my 20s. I am now 42 and already had one iui in September which did not work. I always thought I would find the right one too. I started this process of being a single mom when I just turned 39 because I couldn't wait any longer. 2wks after turning 39 I met someone and we dated 2 1/2 yrs so again I put it on hold. We broke up and I started the process again. I just hope it is not too late but will try. You are young and shouldn't give up on love. I can't tell you what to do but if I were to do it all again, I was 22 and thinking of doing this, I would wait a few more years (not too long)and then start the process. Remember, whatever decision you make is not a wrong decision. You have to do what you truly believe in your heart is right for you !! I wish you all the luck in the world.
  • pammodugnopammodugno Posts: 55
    Hi Hope! So glad to see someone my age trying! I had my 1st IUI on 10/22 and in 2ww and going crazy!!! Better late then never! I was thinking about doing this 5 years ago but I guess just wasn't ready. I know it would have been easier because I was younger!! Wishing you the best!
  • olearyeolearye Posts: 65
    hi i am in the middle of the age group here and i am about to start my single mother journey, i am turning 34 next month. I have always wanted a family, since i was a teenager but i too waited and dated many great guys, just not the one. I love being an auntie, etc but i too am at the point that it is killing me that i am not a mother of my own. My advice to pineapple princess is to give it some time. There are many great years ahead of you, and some adventures may be more challenging being a single mom. Your maternity clock will become your every thought and you will know it is time. As far as what you are saying about people viewing that you are giving up on finding love, i don't believe that. People even now are telling me "you have time..." and honestly my thought is if love comes around i am open to it but my priority is my child and the family that you create with them. I am not trying to have a child because i am running out of time, i am trying to conceive because i want to create a family. I think that all of us at some point may find people that disagree with our decision but stay strong and most of all stay true to yourself!!!!
  • hope2bmomsoonhope2bmomsoon Posts: 39
    Pammodugno, good luck to you. I do hope it worked for you on your first try! The 2ww is tough but exciting. I wanted to try in October but the timing of the donor delivery and ovulation was off and dr was out of town. I am hopefully going to try in November. I just have alot going on with the hurricane that hit. Not sure where you live but I live in Staten Island and between trying to get back to work and everything else, I am hoping I can try again soon.
  • pammodugnopammodugno Posts: 55
    Hi Hope
    I live in the Jersey Shore area in Somers Point! Thank God everything was fine for me but lots of destruction in this area. How did you make out in the storm? Good luck to you! I hope November is a go for you!!
  • hope2bmomsoonhope2bmomsoon Posts: 39
    Luckily my home and area is okay. Lots of down trees and power outages. Haven't gone back to work because our building was flooded. Will be 4 to 8 wks until we get back and not sure where they will be relocating us. Lets hope November is the month !! Thank you.
  • pammodugnopammodugno Posts: 55
    Im glad your are is ok!! Wow sorry to hear about your building at work!

    I am hoping I have a little something extra to be thankful for this month!
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