How did you tell your family & friends?

Chatty_NattyChatty_Natty Posts: 26
in Share Your Experience
I will be 34 in exactly 2 months. I am straight and single. I'm tired of waiting for Mr. Right and my biological clock is ticking.
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My mom is my bestfriend. She knows that a year from now that I plan to get pregnant using donor sperm. None of my family or friends know about my plans.

My sister lives about 5 minutes away, but we only see each other maybe once a week.

My extended family lives out of state. I could go through my entire pregnancy without seeing most of them.

I figure I should say something but not sure what or how to. How did you do it? How do you suggest I should?

Thanks!

Comments

  • MGALBNMGALBN Posts: 325
    I haven't told a soul yet so when you figure it out tell me! LOL
  • Chatty_NattyChatty_Natty Posts: 26
    LOL!!!
  • Chatty_NattyChatty_Natty Posts: 26
    LOL!!!
  • MKS2012MKS2012 Posts: 18
    Hi Chatty,
    I was in exactly the same situation. I decided last summer, at age 34, that I was going get pregnant with donor sperm....tired of waiting. I am very close to my parents, so I just decided to tell them. I was a little worried because they tend to be very traditional when it comes to family. I initially told them that I wanted to have a baby and then let them ask questions. My dad was super supportive and my mom was a little more hesitant, but is now super excited. I just had my 1st IUI last week (TWW sucks!). In the mean time I decided to go ahead and tell my grandparents who were also remarably supportive. I think they would prefer that I was married, but they just want me to be happy. One grandma actually said that she was not suprised. She said she always knew I would be a great mom and is glad that I am making it happen (pretty incredible from my 87 year old grandma!). I guess the moral of my story is to go for it! Your family might just suprise you. Good Luck with what ever you decide.
  • roxydyanroxydyan Posts: 14
    Hi there

    I am 38 and decided I was not going to wait for Mr Right. All my family and friends live in another country so I knew I needed their long distance support while I try and get pregnant and then move back to have my child.

    I told my parents and my brother and sister first. They have been beyond supportive. I have also told a handful of close girlfriends and likewise have been wonderful.

    Granted my mother and grandmother have asked the hard questions: like am I ready, how will I support us, reminding me how hard it is going to be being a single mother.. but instead of getting mad at them for asking I realize they ask because they care.

    I picked my donor but had a lunch with my mother, sister and best friend and gave them the choice of 2 donors to see if they picked the same one I did - and ALL of them did. Making them part of the process has helped a great deal.

    Also I have just completed some tests (the FSH levels and HSG xray) and kept them in the loop on those - I just want them to feel part of it every step.

    This is one of the most important steps in my life and naturally want the most important people in my life to be part of the process.

    Like MKS said - your family may surprise you. Its wonderful to have the support
  • Chatty_NattyChatty_Natty Posts: 26
    MKS,

    First, I'm gonna send some baby dust your way! :oD

    Next... I told of my aunts that I wanted to adopt a couple yrs ago. She **VERY** bluntly told me that she did not believe that I would be a good mother. She's generally a negative person so I don't mind what she says.

    Who knows how the rest of my family will react. At this point I could care less! LOL! I just hope they come around once I'm pregnant or have the baby...

    ...And if not, it's their loss!
  • Chatty_NattyChatty_Natty Posts: 26
    roxydyan,

    I agree it's important to keep your family in the loop. That's kinda why I didn't want to shopw up at a family event with a newborn... or toddler. That could have gotten awkward--and quick!

    I think it's so sweet how the important women in your life chose the same donor that you did!

    I'll send some baby dust your way! :oD
  • Chatty_NattyChatty_Natty Posts: 26
    I have some free time and made a post card to send to my family once I'm in my second trimester. I was kinda weirded out by the whole world getting to see my big news, so I will prolly pop them into envelopes.

    When my sister got pregnant, we made greeting cards and mailed them to our extended family so that the initial shock could wear off. I'm gonna do the same thing.
  • austingurlaustingurl Posts: 202
    I am just starting the process. I called my mom and said "I have something to tell you and you need to keep an open mind." Then, I just blurted out that I was starting this process. She was great. I spent way too much time worrying about the conversation It went better than I ever expected.

    I was even more nervous telling my sister because she went through fertility treatments unsuccessfully a few years ago. She was shocked but amazingly supportive and said to call her with any questions. We both ended up crying. Then, I didn't call her for a few days to give her time to process it. But overall, I have had a great reaction from everyone.
  • Ms M404Ms M404 Posts: 111
    Well ladies,

    I think the people that really love you will be there with and support you. My mom too is my friend and she has been with me through all the procedures. And it is great to have some in your corner to lean on.

    However, do what makes you happy and dont worry about other people think!

    Baby dust
    M
  • Ms M404Ms M404 Posts: 111
    Oh I forgot the main reason for this post. Its really no ones business how you got pregnant unless you want to share with them. For all they know you could have had a one night stand and concieved.

    M
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