first try...

ashley2011ashley2011 Posts: 21
in LGBTQ+ Couples
Today was the first try with at-home ICI for my partner and I. Now for the waiting game. We have a blog if anyone is interested. I would love any links to other peoples' blogs as they are going through this process. Thanks!
-Ashley

http://aandkmakeababy.blogspot.com/

Comments

  • lindsey0351lindsey0351 Posts: 13
    Ashley- I read your blog and felt like I was reading my diary..lol
    My wife and I have done all of the "meet at a party, big wedding with all the family, and now the baby thing." We are currently in the two week wait on our second ICI at home. My body pulled a random ovulation last month too so I know that whole rush thing. But, after a "well-we tried" moment, we are onto month two. So I will be thinking of you and sending baby dust, as we wait together.:)
    -Lindsey
  • jnoorisjnooris Posts: 18
    Ashley and Kristin,

    I have read your blog and am fascinated to see that you two are in somewhat of the same situation as my wife and I. We are both finishing up our Master's degree; my wife is currently working- but I am currently unemployed and next Fall my wife wants to return to school to obtain her teaching credential. We, too, are no longer waiting for the "right time" because otherwise we will be waiting forever. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings as you two embark in this journey. :) My wife has her first IUI scheduled for tomorrow.

    So baby dust for the both of us!
  • ashley2011ashley2011 Posts: 21
    Thank you for taking the time to read our blog. I am happy that you enjoyed it. This process can be a trying one and I figured we should share it with others. We will try to continue posting at least weekly.

    Baby dust all around!
    -Ashley
  • TommieWartickTommieWartick Posts: 307
    I enjoyed reading your blog as well. My wife and I are doing IUI, this is our second try, we inseminated on the 11th of this month! The two week wait sucks!!!!

    And as for things such as second parent adoption and all the other stuff you were curious about, there is one state that immediately puts both parents whether gay straight or lesbian on the birth certificate. Washington DC. We did some research on it as well because we live in Arkansas and until a few months ago, there was a law that stated "only heterosexual MARRIED couples could adopt a child. Single people could adopt as long as they didn't cohabitate with anyone." So that basically meant no gay people could every adopt...anyways they threw that out but no one really knows if there is second parent adoption here or not. Our plan is to go through our lawyer (He changed my wife's last name to mine for us) for a ton of paperwork: medical/financial power of attorney, living will, the paperwork to make sure we can see each other in the hospital and lord only knows what else was needed but we were told it was going to be like 2k or something.

    We too are also in the same situation as you guys, except I am 29 and Tommie is 36. We both have bday's in December. Tommie is a Voc Rehab Councelor at the VA, has her masters degree and I am a paramedic who is now in school full time to get my respiratory therapy license/associates degree and hopefully will continue for my BA once things settle down. So we know very well the penny pinching that's required to do this.

    We couldn't wait for the perfect time because Tommie, who is carrying, only has one ovary, it's polycystic and her labs that we did before starting weren't great...all I remember is one of the numbers had to be less than 15 (if it was more than 15 that meant you were in menopause or something) hers was 10 something I think and then there was some other number that had to be no less than 1/3 the first number. Well her number was just a tad less than 1/3 so our dr was like "we need to start NOW"....

    So after being on birth control to regulate her periods, surgery to remove polyps and 2 failed clomid cycles that ended in canceled cycles...and the first IUI that we had a 30mm follicle that neither of us feel like it even ovulated (we think it was a waste of money completely) we are technically on our second IUI but we feel like it's our first!!!!

    I go to bed dreaming of triplets every night and get hit every morning!!!! We had 3 mature follicles and possible 2 more, so possible 5 mature follicles that ovulated with the trigger shot!!! We will start taking prego tests this wed...If this doesn't work, which I am CONVINCED we are pregnant - and talk to my growing children all the time, we would have to get more sperm and dig deeeeeep into the savings!

    This is so exciting but so stressful at the same time! Why does it have to be so difficult to get something that others take forgranted and abuse?!?!?

    Natalie
  • jnoorisjnooris Posts: 18
    Ashley and Kristen,

    To address your concerns about second parent adoption. What state are you guys in? We are in California and are registered as domestic partners. At the time the baby is born, we can both be named on the birth certificate as being the parents of the child. However, we still need to find a lawyer so that I can obtain a judgment of parental rights- since Jennifer is the one carrying the baby.

    So you might want to look into your state's laws concerning this because the process can be quite lengthy and frustrating. Lucky for us, we live in a state where same sex relationship are a little more tolerable than others... but I'm sure each state has some sort of laws that will help Kristen to obtain these parental rights as well.

    Natalie, good luck to you and Tommie!! I am absolutely sending baby dust your way... you will definitely have yours hands full if you end up with triplets. :)

    My wife had her second insemination today for her first IUI (our doctor does back to back insemination to give her body an optimum chance to conceive). So for now... it's the waiting game. Her 30th birthday is tomorrow, and we are celebrating by having an L Word Marathon. Haha... so appropriate.

    Can't wait to see where the blog will take us as you two continue in this journey. :)
  • RSheakoskiRSheakoski Posts: 40
    @Ashley.... It is very cool you and your partner decided to do this at home. We were not quite brave enough for that!

    @Tommie... My wife and I are in VA also. Just out of curiosity.. What office/ center are you using? We are using EVMS.
  • TommieWartickTommieWartick Posts: 307
    RShea, we live in Arkansas, my wife works at the VA - Veterans Administration, the government hospital for vets.
  • RSheakoskiRSheakoski Posts: 40
    HAHAHAHA .. just re-read your post and totally see that now! Sorry! I got a little excited with the thought of someone near by! heehe.. sorry!
  • TommieWartickTommieWartick Posts: 307
    LOL, yeah we haven't met anyone on here that lives in AR, however we have three friends that got prego by our RE. One just had their baby, one prego with twins now, one prego with single baby now too.
  • KAD214KAD214 Posts: 1
    Ashley and Kristen,

    We also just read your blog and feel like we could have written a lot of it ourselves :) We are a couple of weeks away from trying our first at home insemination. Did you guys buy a kit? If so which one? There is so much stuff online, but it's so hard to tell what will really work. Basically any advice you would like to give us amateurs would be greatly appreciated!

    Angie and Kelly
  • ashley2011ashley2011 Posts: 21
    Angie and Kelly- we did not buy a kit for at home insemination. After reading everything I could find on ICI (I actually did a research paper on AI for biology last semester), I realized that a kit was unnecessary. I work in a medical office so I got a 3cc syringe and a blunt needle to draw up "the goods." I am pretty sure that you can get that stuff from your doctor or even at a pharmacy. A wonderful resource for all things related is The New Essential Guide to Lesbian Conception, Pregnancy, and Birth.

    jnooris- We live in Maine and are just starting to look at resources to get the second parent adoption thing rolling. We do have domestic partnership here, but I am not sure about how the second parent adoption thing works. Once we know more, I am sure we will blog about it. Happy belated birthday to your wife!

    Natalie and Tommie- Any news yet?

    Hope everyone is having much success in the baby making department. BABY DUST ALL AROUND!
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