Sharing my loss

nbound72nbound72 Posts: 153
in Single Mothers by Choice
I've been reading and posting on here since June and have gotten to know many of you through all of our posts back and forth. These last fews weeks have been devastating. I lost my baby girl at 22 weeks pregnant. I had the amnio done beginning of Jan. and they found some chromosome abnormalities. They weren't sure what it was. They examined further with more in depth tests. This time they had a specific answer for what was wrong. All the genetic doctors and counselors described her chromosome disorder as severe and would give her minimum quality of life. My genetic counselor called ccb and confirmed that all the donors are genetically tested before donating. I was also tested and I'm fine. They called this a spontaneous fluke that happened at conception. Once I have healed from surgery and take some time to mourn the loss of my baby girl I will be back trying.

Comments

  • Ms M404Ms M404 Posts: 111
    Nbound, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. BIG HUG !! I cant imagine how you are feeling as I have yet to concieve. I can only imagine the loss you feel. We are here if you need to talk or a shoulder. Take care of yourself.

    M
  • LilyM138LilyM138 Posts: 32
    Susan, I am so sorry. That is just devastating, and so very unfair. Thinking of you.
  • KarenRKarenR Posts: 105
    Oh Susan...I am so sorry. I have tears running down my cheeks reading this. I am sending you strength and hugs. Know you have our collective support.
    Love, Karen
  • abbyjennaabbyjenna Posts: 126
    Susan - Oh my goodness - my heart is breaking for you. I can't even imagine what you're going through. I'm so very sorry for your loss. Take the time you need to grieve, and know that you have the support of all of us here. Lots of hugs!
  • jaydonsmomjaydonsmom Posts: 62
    Hi Susan,

    I'm thinking of and praying for you!!
  • tnctnc Posts: 85
    Susan,
    I am so sorry. You are in my prayers. May God hold you during this time.
  • LoriBLoriB Posts: 21
    Susan,
    No words can express my sadness for you. Heal well, take your time, and don't lose your hope.
  • nbound72nbound72 Posts: 153
    I am deeply touched by the outpouring support and encouragement from all of you. It really DOES help. I know all of us are at different points with fertility but just knowing we are all here for each other makes such a difference. I'm really looking forward to hearing where all of you are at and I'm so looking forward to trying again in a few months with my same donor.

    Thanks again,

    Susan
  • teachertracysteachertracys Posts: 43
    hi susan-
    i am so sorry. i know that the arms that welcomed your little angel to heaven are the same arms that are holding you too. i don't know what to say.

    you're right though, we are here for each other no matter where we are in this journey. i read all the names and even though i don't know any of you i feel like i do- almost like a graduating class, those of at the same point. we will continue to move forward and graduate to motherhood. hope that doesn't sound corny- i am trying to make an analogy and don't feel like i am being successful :) but i hope you know what i mean.

    you are in my prayers!
  • nbound72nbound72 Posts: 153
    I got it. I think corny is good at a time like this. :) Thanks for the support.
  • JaimeMJaimeM Posts: 9
    Susan... I am so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you.
  • misskrismisskris Posts: 44
    I am so sorry for your loss. THank you for your honesty. It must be devestating for you but you will get over this. Spontaneous genetic mutations happen right at conception-no one can be blamed. The odds of having a healthy baby are still in our favor as 97% of all babies conceived to us older gals are completely healthy.

    I believe you had IVF? I apologize if I am wrong. If anyone here gets IVF done, they are able to test all embryos for chromosomal abnormalties prior to transfer-it is very cool and my RE does not charge alot for this. I plan on getting this done if i do IVF.

    I think you did the right thing hun. Give yourself time to heal and try again.
  • nbound72nbound72 Posts: 153
    MissKris - Thank you for your response. I love that I can log on here and always find the support from women who are trying for the same goal. I tried IVF with another donor and he was "lazy". I did IUI with another donor and it worked on the 1st try. I will be using him again as he has many beautful, healthy children. Sibling registry made it possible to connect with them. Today was my first day back at work and it really did help make the time go by. I'm taking the time to mourn the loss of my sweet baby girl. I knew I made the right decision to become a single mom the minute I found out I was pregnant. That feeling is what keeps me going and I can't wait for that same wonderful feeling with my second.

    It is very interesting that they can test the embryos for chromosome abnormalities. I highly suggest it if the doctor can do it. My next pregnancy I'm going to look into CVS which is a test they do early in the pregnancy that tests for the same things as the amnio.

    Wishing you all the best!

    Susan
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