I can't wait!

laurenstarlaurenstar Posts: 11
in LGBTQ+ Couples
Ok so I am in the very beginning stages of this whole process. My partner and I have been together for 4 years and we're ready to start a family. I would like to start sooner rather than later, but my partner wants to take another year or two so we can get our finances together and "be ready". I see her viewpoint, but in all honesty I don't think I'll be able to wait! I dream of babies. I think about becoming a mommy all the time. Some might call me baby obsessed (it doesn't help that everyone at my work has been popping kids out left and right!). My biological clock is ticking so loudly that it keeps me up at night. I am going to a doctor's appointment at the end of the month to open the discussion and get any tests done. I've always been a planner....

But my question to you all is how do I wait without going crazy?!?

BTW I'm almost 31.....

Any advice would be appreciated!

Comments

  • mzkacmzkac Posts: 36
    Hi laurenstar! I just turned 30 a few months ago, and I know how you feel. I have been with my partner for almost 4 yrs. And we have actually started the process(well preliminary stuff). I would suggest first speaking with your gyn and asking plenty of questions. I can send you a more detailed list if you want of what I did. We are now 6 mo-less to actually getting the sperm and starting "the final process". I do agree with your partner, but, I feel that no time no matter if you are straight or gay, is going to be the "perfect" time! Just set up a to do list and a set of goals on a time line.
    Hope that helps
  • laurenstarlaurenstar Posts: 11
    Mzkac- I would love the detailed list of questions! My email is misslaurenstar@yahoo.com.
    Good luck with the whole process! Tonight at dinner I saw some smiles from my partner when I was mentioning how I have been perusing the website looking at donors. I read her a few and she sounded excited! So yes while there is no exact right time, there is a time when hopefully we'll both be on the same page. Are you going to be carrying the baby?
  • TeiallyTeially Posts: 53
    Hello Ladies,

    I an definitely with you on the clock ticking so loud.

    We are both 30 and just got married in September. When we were engaged I was looking up donors, and we actually got excited about a few and now some of those donors are either no available or less desirable to us now.

    We just bought a house and are under construction but I am pushing the baby process right ahead. LOL. I realize that the time is now for us, and I think she agrees. Her main fear is feeling like we will go and look for someone and thy won't be available.

    However we are looking to do our first IUI in February.


    So I understand your parents concerns and this process is expensive but you may have to make some lifestyle changes.
  • mzkacmzkac Posts: 36
    @Teially congrats on you and your partner's new marriage and home building:o) It would be great to hear your path/timeline the past few months for any added advice I am sure for Ms.Lauren and myself. Have you gotten any of the added features for the donors(keirsey report, audio, etc?)
  • 2moms2monkeys2moms2monkeys Posts: 99
    Laurenstart - my DP and I just had our first little guy nearly 8 months ago and are planning on trying for number 2 at the end of the year. My partner also wanted to wait until we had the house and were "ready." It seemed to take forever and honestly you are never really ready. We actually regret not starting sooner (partner was 37 when she was finally ready enough to do it)so I say go for it!
  • mzkacmzkac Posts: 36
    Hi squirt1117-Just curious :o) did you have to go to a RE? My Gyn is going to do my insemination in his office IUI.
  • 2moms2monkeys2moms2monkeys Posts: 99
    Yes, DP's obgyn gave us the name of a RE who we used. Worked on the second try. :)
  • TeiallyTeially Posts: 53
    Mzkac - Thanks. We are trying to get everything together for our little one.

    Well my time line is like this.

    Nov- We went to fertility doc for an consultation and I immediately connected with him. I knew of 3 people who used another doctor and all were pregnant and 2 out of 3 had twins using IVF ONLY. I didn't want to do IVF first I wanted to give IUI a chance, I was 30, never been pregnant before or never even tried.

    After the consultation he took blood and did an ultrasound but the tool goes inside to check on your tubes. ( I wasn't prepared but I was on the 3rd day of my monthly and I guess that is a great day for testing :( Then I left with a to-do list of other tests to take.

    Then my next monthly I took the HSG and this monthly I am suppose to take the water sonogram. I am going to kick and complain and hope that works in dodging this test.

    Today I am hoping to buy an ovulation kit and then when I am ovulating we can do our first IUI.
    My doc said to start we need 2 vials.

    But I am suppose to meet with him to discuss my results that I assumed were fine ans then IUI time and still no chosen donor.

    Thanks
  • laurenstarlaurenstar Posts: 11
    Hi Ladies,
    Thanks so much for the responses. It's so nice to hear that there are people here in the same boat as myself. I am looking forward to having my first appointment with my ob/gyn to discuss fertility, etc.... It's at the end of this month and I really don't know what to expect because I have Kaiser insurance (for all you non-Californians it's an insurance/hospital system that has a lot of red tape and you need referrals for everything!). I am hoping I can get all the fertility tests (if I need them...I have no idea!) done within the next few months. Like I mentioned before I am a planner!

    My partner is still in school and will be graduating this June. I would love to get started this summer (I'm a teacher and it would be more convenient for schedules), but I don't think it will happen until maybe next year at this time.

    The wait is still killing me though. We spent last night going through donors and we have found a few we really like. I'm tempted to buy up some vials for storage! But I have to be realistic since finances are tight right now and will be until my lady can start working fulltime again.

    So, I'll be perusing these boards and probably asking tons of questions. I'll also continue to save my favorites in my profile.

    -Lauren

    p.s. Has anyone used the fancy fertility monitors?
  • Mashuginah27Mashuginah27 Posts: 53
    I would first like to say Good Luck! for when you do begin the journey.
    My partner and I have been together for 5 years and have recently decided to start a family, I am 27 yrs old and she is 32. She will be carrying so that made the decision alittle easier to make due to her age. Im not saying she is "old" ladies by no means we would just like to be young when our child matures.
    Also, there is no "right time" just a "better time".

    I think you bot will get there. Its easy to say no when you have the decision to make. Im sure being a teacher it gives you the itch more. I was very unsure due to my age but the excitement we were both having kind of sealed the deal for me.
    Good luck and make sure you take all the preliminary precautions as far as insurance and doctor's appts as that is where we found out most of our information, more than "googling it".

    Good luck again!
    http://conception-inception.blogspot.com/
  • TeiallyTeially Posts: 53
    Hello LaurenStar

    My wife and I bought a fertility monitor last night at Duane Reade. It was the first response, one month.. for 49.99.

    I will start it on the last night of my period. So excited it seems so close...
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