Is it me or was everyone overwhelmed

whitfieldgirlwhitfieldgirl Posts: 22
in LGBTQ+ Couples
My partner and I want to start planning for our insemination in June 2010. I recently started to search donors and after an hour I became extremely overwhelmed. I dont know if it is my picky Virgo nature.I would like a donor then read there essay and become instantly not interested due to a word spelled incorrectly.We plan on having 1 child and I guess I just want the best possible choice for us.Due to the lack of African American donors are choices are VERY limited :(. I also have a hard time with the fact that most of the donors resemble (Tiki Barber) who by the way isnt that attractive to us.All I want to be is a mommy I wish it wasnt this hard. If anyone has any words of encouragement or success stories with an African American donor we would LOVE to hear it..Thanks for listening/reading.

:)

Comments

  • MistyandCarlaMistyandCarla Posts: 720
    I didn't use an AA donor, but just wanted to say we've all been there...but, as I sit here and hold our 4 month old daughter, I now realize that we stressed over nothing. I wouldn't care if he was a two headed monster at this point...once you get the baby that you've dreamed about, you forget all about your donors information!

    Good luck!
  • whitfieldgirlwhitfieldgirl Posts: 22
    Thanks so much
  • baby67890baby67890 Posts: 156
    The thing that you also have remember is that nobody is perfect and every has flows and skeletons in there closet so if there nothing medically concerning you can try to see past their pictures and missing words on the profile.
  • cnash1919cnash1919 Posts: 18
    I can understand what you are feeling my partner and I think its crazy to have to make a decision off of a piece of paper. But we are just making the best choices we can and knowing that no matter what we will love the child. Its not like it can happen by accident so you have to make decisions that you feel are best for your family. good luck
  • ualtiggerualtigger Posts: 589
    How I chose my donor (who I named Mark, by the way due to my partner's name): I looked at his profile, learned what I could about him and then asked myself a question: IF he was standing here in front of me, would I consider him? When the man that I was looking at from my donor list (I started with 13 guys of different ethnicities) became a resounding "YES!!"... then I knew that I had chosen the right man. And, interestingly enough, he's quite a bit like the man I have in my life... so I think I chose well.
  • jramos25jramos25 Posts: 46
    I read this comment and my partner and I can totally relate. You want to make the best decision but it is hard when you really don't "know" the person. You start being picky and then you wonder am I being too picky does it really matter if his favorite color is blue??? I agree with what someone said though..............once you are holding your baby in your arms none of it will matter as long as they are healthy and surrounded by love.
  • whitfieldgirlwhitfieldgirl Posts: 22
    Thank you all soooo much for your words and thoughts 'ualtigger' you are soooo right I couldnt have said it better and we finally have a resounding YES. We havent named our donor yet but I will have to think of something :)

    Best wishes and lots of love to everyone!!! I will keep u all updated when the big day finally arrives
  • itsjustmeitsjustme Posts: 8
    hi. this is my first post ever...I had my first IUI today so I'm sitting at home relaxing and being positive. I read a bunch,took about a month away from it out of frustration, and started up again. My only advice in picking, because yes, it is OVERWHELMING, is to start with the personal message. My only specifics were "open, tall, and educated" so I must have read a thousand, always with the thought that my child would read it one day and that message might be important to him or her. Once I found one that was truly inspiring and not run of the mill for my tastes, that donor became my immediate "yes man". GOOD LUCK!!! DEEP BREATHS!!! YOU'LL FIND ONE!!! :)

    ~K
  • CSSCSS Posts: 161
    CA Cryobank has a much larger selection of AA donors than most sperm banks---14 on last count (incl. mixed race). Having looked around for a bank with more than one or two AA donors, I was pretty impressed.

    I just had my 1st and 2nd (back to back) IUIs with donor #11695. He was physically very similar to my husband (I know this is the same-sex couples section, but I like the discussions over here), including celebrity look-a-like facial characteristics, and he seemed like a reasonably intelligent and very decent guy. What more can you ask for?

    Best of luck!

    --CSS
  • stephanie86stephanie86 Posts: 1
    im very overwhelmed!! my partner and i want to start trying to have a baby in june or july 2010.
    but after searching through the sight i am a little confused. we just want to do this in the
    privacy of our own home were it is an intimate setting. what is the best option if we do not want to go to the doctor???
  • lucky_4_u_13@yahoo.comlucky_4_u_13@yahoo.com Posts: 22
    Stephanie, I know that you need to pick a donor who has ICI vials in order to do it at home. My partner and I are inseminating at home this weekend. If you narrow it down by ICI Premium and then go from there. We picked a donor that has some of our same interests and features. You just need to decide what the most important factors are.
  • ArkmomArkmom Posts: 92
    Stephanie,

    You will also want to find out whether your state allows sperm to be sipped to residence and if so, whether a docotor is required to sign off on the shipment. CCB can help you with this aspect, including the paperwork for the Doc to sign. Even if home shipment is not allowed in your state, you can have to vials shiped to your docter and pick them up at their office for home insemination.

    Good luck,

    Rebekah
  • az242az242 Posts: 21
    CSS, how did your IUIs go? I just had 1 w/ 11695. The post-wash count was lower than I would have liked but I agree that he sounded like a good, decent human being. Do you mind my asking your counts w/ him?
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