how to pick the right donor as a single mom

goethedancesgoethedances Posts: 3
in Single Mothers by Choice
Hi there.

I was wondering if some of you could possibly share how you made your decisions. When you picked the donor, were you looking for someone you might be attracted to as a partner, who complimented you, who was exactly like you, or maybe even the exact opposite, a different ethnic background...?

I would be a single mother.

Thank you!

Comments

  • abbyjennaabbyjenna Posts: 126
    Hi goethedances!

    I just picked my donor, and now I'm waiting till I see the doc tomorrow (my first appointment) to find out if I should make the purchase.

    I'm going to be a single mom, too. I looked first for someone tall, with hair and eyes similar to me. I figure if there's no dad in the picture, I want the kid to have a shot of looking like me instead of entirely like a total stranger, but with the opportunity to be tall (I'm 5'4"). So like me, the donor I picked has thick brown hair, blue eyes, and fair skin.

    At first I searched for a Jewish donor (I'm Jewish) and then realized that I was being silly - I'm the one raising the kid! It will be whatever religion I am.

    I hope that helps! Lots of luck to you!

    Abby
  • goethedancesgoethedances Posts: 3
    Thank you Abby. That helps. It is a little overwhelming, and weird, but my best option. I wish you all the best and you are absolutely right: you are the one raising the kid. Good luck.
  • leandraj44leandraj44 Posts: 16
    Hey Goethedances
    I did it a little differently than most people I think, I picked 10 donors that I liked for various reasons, coloring, looks, personality, and then I put together packets with all of the free info that they give and passed it out to various family members and friends and let them vote. Then I took the top 4 bought all of their information put together more packages and 8 of my closest female relatives and I had a round table discussion after dinner one night. It was an amazing experience and had the added benefit of having so many people that feel excited and vested in my pregnancy, which I think is really important as a single mom.
    Oh and the donor everyone ended up picking was my favorite from the start=)
    Best of luck and lots of Baby Dust

    Leandra
  • nbound72nbound72 Posts: 153
    I picked a donor who I loved, and now will be choosing another one because I just learned my donor has low mobility. Found this out after 1 failed IVF cycle. The doctor suggested a new donor for my next IVF. I never wanted to select the most popular guy. I guess they are popular for a reason.

    Check with the bank to see how many reported "births" not pregnancies your donor has. I will be doing this for my next purchase.

    Hope you find this helpful. :)
  • tnctnc Posts: 85
    I started my search based on eye color and skin tone to be similar to my own. I would have like him tall but ended up with a donor average height. I had a hard time with that so I went with matching my blood type and CMV negative like me. I also made sure that the health history was clean. I also like his baby picture. My parents and one of my friends also looked at the information. I hope this helps.
  • librahimlibrahim Posts: 8
    I really want my kid to be smart so good grades and test scores were pretty important to me. I looked at everything to see if I felt some kind of connection to something the donor said or wrote. Some donors seemed like guys I would like to know and others seemed like they were there only for the money. I didn't go for donor's like that.
  • librahimlibrahim Posts: 8
    I really want my kid to be smart so good grades and test scores were pretty important to me. I looked at everything to see if I felt some kind of connection to something the donor said or wrote. Some donors seemed like guys I would like to know and others seemed like they were there only for the money. I didn't go for donor's like that.
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