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How do you find the strength to keep trying?

HopefulforbabyHopefulforbaby Posts: 8
in Single Mothers by Choice
I am 9dpiui on my 4th attempt and the wait is absolutely killing me. This is my second try with Clomid and Prometrium. I tested at home on what was probably too early my first three attempts and am doing my best to wait. Blood test is this coming Wednesday. Although my stupid period is due this Sunday…praying it stays away. I keep waiting for a sign to let me know I'm pregnant and nothing. I am doing my best to stay positive, but preparing myself in case it's a BFN again.

For those trying this alone… how do you find the strength to keep going? I know I'm only on my 4th attempt and I'm very blessed to have a family that is extremely supportive of my decision, but there are days I feel so alone and not sure how many more times I can go through this.

I know if it's a BFN, I will need to start the cycle again right away because of being on Clomid. I want a baby more than anything, but the heartache is wearing me down. Any thoughts? Suggestions? Hope?

Lots of baby dust to all… xo

Amber

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    tffotffo Posts: 94
    Amber, I know your pain, I tried 7 times, both iui and ivf, and switched clinics once before my new doctor insisted on doing a laparoscopy and discovered I had endometriosis. He removed it and an endometrioma on my ovary and the next month I did an iui and got pregnant a month before my 41st birthday. I'm now 14 weeks.

    One thing that really helped me was the ccb private Facebook group "ccb friends". There are so many women there going through the same thing and sharing what they've learned. I highly recommend joining if you haven't already.
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    Wally030306Wally030306 Posts: 156
    Amber,

    I too know exactly how you are feeling. This process is such an emotional rollercoaster. It takes a toll on a person in every way possible. This is something we all want so badly, that is why each BFN hurts the way that it does. Keep strong and trust in this process though. Don't give up hope....know that you will become a MOM! My wife and I are currently 7.5 weeks pregnant. We got pregnant on our 4th cycle. When we got our BFP, we actually got it from HPT. We had never taken HPT before, we always just waited for BETA. But the beginning of July, 12dpiui, I told my wife I think we should test. Not because I truly thought we were pregnant, but because I just wanted to have a little extra time to prepare for the next cycle, if heaven forbid there was to be one. Low and behold, when we tested, there were 2 pink lines staring back at us! I had resigned to the fact this may never happen for us, or at least not in the near future. How wrong I was though. Also, it just goes to show you...I had had no 'symptoms' nor did I feel any different during my TWW when we got our BFP vs. all the other BFN cycles.

    TFFO is so right...connecting to people who are going through similar situations always helps. While I never joined the CCB Friends Facebook group, I always turned to these boards to keep in touch with others sharing my same journey. It is comforting to know that others know exactly what you are going through.

    If you have any questions, I am an open book....ask away! I would love to help you in any way possible!

    @ TFFO-CONGRATS on your pregnancy! How very exciting!! Hoping all is great with you and baby! You should be able to find the sex out soon right?! Are you going to try?! Any thoughts/gut feeling on what you are having?!

    BABY DUST!
    Courtney
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    HopefulforbabyHopefulforbaby Posts: 8
    Thank you both for your responses. It's wonderful to hear success stories. It gives me hope.

    I just requested to join the FB group. I have found as each attempt comes and goes, the more I get frustrated with hearing "maybe it's not the right time" or "it will happen eventually". Those are not things I want to hear. I know my family and friends are trying their best to be supportive, but most truly don't understand.

    Congrats to you both :)

    Happy thoughts and baby dust!!

    Amber
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    tffotffo Posts: 94
    Thanks Courtney, because of my previous losses and my age I had the Maternit21 test done at 10 weeks. I'm having a boy. I'm very excited!

    Amber, I look forward to seeing you at ccb friends!
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    HopefulforbabyHopefulforbaby Posts: 8
    I'm pregnant!!! Was getting positive HPT Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. Had the blood test done yesterday afternoon and found out this morning… HCG 357 and progesterone 27.3. I'm nervous, but so excited!! Had to share. :)

    Amber
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    tffotffo Posts: 94
    Congratulations! Those are great numbers! I hope the good news keeps coming!
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    Wally030306Wally030306 Posts: 156
    AMBER,

    CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! Omg...lucky 4th cycle!!!! I am so excited for you!! See...just goes to show you, never give up! How are you feeling? Any symptoms? If you want to e-mail me to stay in touch, my email is wally030306@yahoo.com.

    I cannot wait to hear your updates! Sending sticky baby dust your way!

    @TFFO-Congrats on your lil boy!! Secretly we are hoping for a lil boy, too. But of course, healthy is all that matters...we will be blessed either way! How are you feeling?

    BABY DUST TO ALL!
    Courtney
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    babyzero4babyzero4 Posts: 1
    new to the group. ive tried 2x. I am trying again soon, only this time ill be doing 2 inseminations per ovulation cycle. last time I only did 1 insemination per ovulation cycle and had no success. I also switched donor just in case. any advice from you lucky preggo ladies?
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