Using a donor of a Different Race

Sohmakun

Hello everyone!

I'm a 27 year old African American single lesbian woman interested in using donor sperm. I'm not using California Cryobank because of the circumstances in my life. With the bank I'm using, nearly all of the donors are Caucasian and/or Asian. I only saw one African American donor and I'm not interested in using him because he doesn't have any IUI vitals available. The donors I am interested in has blond hair, blue eyes and German, English and Irish roots. Another donor is half Korean and half English and German.

Quite frankly, I'm nervous about my family's reaction to my children. My mother constantly says half jokingly "don't you ever have a White baby" and "If you have a light skinned baby, then I'm going to make sure your kids stay out in the sun so they can look like Black kids". The rest of my family is "fairly Black" with no interracial couples/families.

Is anyone out here is the same boat I am? I'm drawn to these donors because of their proven fertility records and high motile but my family has me doubting myself.

missbryan

Well sorry to hear that your family feels that way about white or light skinned people. Honestly you can have a baby with a black guy and the baby can still come out fair skinned. I think you should go with what YOU want and love the child unconditionally. The only concern would be bringing your child around your family and getting treated differently because of their race which is a decision you will have to make if you want to expose your child to that from their own family. My partner who is jamaican and I am Italian this will be my families first inter-racial child and my family and I are very close and I already warned my mother (who is italian) just because you are not blood related she better treat the child as if she were or she will not be able to see my child. Good Luck!

Gandysweet

I agree with missbryan, its your life and it will be your child so all that will matter is that you are comfortable with your choice. For instance me and my partner have chosen a filopino/spanish donor and we are both african american, both of medium skin tone but could care less because all we wanted was a donor that matched the personality of my partner (the one not carrying) and that he had a healthy history and he did therefore he was the perfect canadiate for us. I haven't worried about my family's reaction because its my life. They still have a hard time accepting that I am a lesbian but I can't change that. So i say go with your gut and goodluck!