Newbie from NJ
jerseygirl74
Posts: 3
I am 36, will be 37 this year. I've decided to go the donor insemination route, knowing time is running out and I can't wait around for Mr. Right anymore. My mother and sisters are very supportive.
I have no idea how my fertility is; I was on the pill until 2 years ago, and since then I have been celibate. I decided at that point I wouldn't sleep with anyone unless I could imagine him being a father, and well, that didn't happen. I have an upcoming annual OB-GYN appt., so I'm planning on bringing up my plans at the appointment. I'm not sure what will happen from there, but I definitely want to get the ball rolling. My periods are very regular so I don't know if that's a good sign or means nothing. I've never had any gynecological problems--knock on wood--so I'm hoping everything is ok. Reading all of these things online about how your fertility declines so much after 35; I hope I didn't wait too long.
I'm excited but scared about so many things: will I actually be able to get pregnant, how will I feel being pregnant, childbirth, finances, daycare, etc. I guess things all prospective parents worry about!
I was so glad to find this discussion board and read other peoples' stories. Makes me feel not so alone.
I have no idea how my fertility is; I was on the pill until 2 years ago, and since then I have been celibate. I decided at that point I wouldn't sleep with anyone unless I could imagine him being a father, and well, that didn't happen. I have an upcoming annual OB-GYN appt., so I'm planning on bringing up my plans at the appointment. I'm not sure what will happen from there, but I definitely want to get the ball rolling. My periods are very regular so I don't know if that's a good sign or means nothing. I've never had any gynecological problems--knock on wood--so I'm hoping everything is ok. Reading all of these things online about how your fertility declines so much after 35; I hope I didn't wait too long.
I'm excited but scared about so many things: will I actually be able to get pregnant, how will I feel being pregnant, childbirth, finances, daycare, etc. I guess things all prospective parents worry about!
I was so glad to find this discussion board and read other peoples' stories. Makes me feel not so alone.
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Comments
I began this past May/June. It was definitely a very difficult decision to begin this journey into single motherhood. This was never what I set out to do but I didn't want to wait too long and miss my chance at being a mom. The process is very different for everyone. This message board has been a wonderful support system for me. I am also surrounded by an amazing network of family, friends and co-workers but there's nothing like these other women who are right where I am. Try and be in the moment. There's a lot of waiting that comes with this process. For some it is quick and for others it's a little slower. Of course ask lots of questions when needed and it sounds like you are ready to go. Looking forward to hearing how things go.
Susan
Where are you in NJ? I'm in northern DE.
Just letting you guys know that we have a fairly new facebook group for singles TTC (or single moms). If you're interested, shoot me an email (abbyjenna@gmail.com) and I'll hook you up. It's a secret group so no one will know you're on it. Everyone is extremely supportive and it's nice because we're all in similar situations. There are people in various stages of fertility and mommyhood.
I'm from NJ as well. North Jersey, small town called Roseland. I have a 3 month old baby boy I conceived using a donor. His name is Dean. I was in the same boat, 40 with no man in sight so I decided to do it alone. My mom and 2 sisters as well as my entire family/friends have been so supportive. It's the best decision I have ever made. I went thru 6 IUI's and 1 IVF cycle and finally got pregnant. I was 41 when I delivered. I went to the best fertility clinic, RMA (Reproductive Medicine Associates). They have a West Orange and Morristown office and are opened 365 days a year so you can never miss a chance to get pregnant. I highly recommend them. The only reason I did 6 IUI's was because my insurance wouldn't cover IVF until I did 6 IUI's first. Then they paid a good chunk of the expense.
I can understand your feeling about pregnancy, childbirth, finances, daycare, using a donor. I can only tell you from my experience that I had all the same concerns but once I held my sweet baby boy in my arms all the worries about those things went away. You find a way to work things out, especially if you have a good support system behind you. The main issue I struggled with was how will I explain to my baby that he has no father because I do plan on telling him he was donor conceived. I've found a couple of books to help explain and reading them has made me feel so much better. I also have 2 older nephews in their 20's who plan on being that father figure to Dean. Feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions.
Best of Luck to you and all who are trying.
Vickie
I started this process last year and must say, it has been a learning experience. I am so happy that I made this decision and think you will find a great group of supportive women here. :-) The majority of us are walking in the same shoes you are!! Here's to us all having a little ones very soon!
Congrats Vickie on your little boy. I have my father, my grandfather, and a wonderful cousin who I hope will be the father figures in my child's life. It's been hard to let go of the idea of having the family I always imagined--although I never cared about getting married--but I'm not very traditional and think families can come in all shapes & sizes. And I actually think dating will be easier after I go through this process, as I will be more relaxed instead of worrying "will he be a good dad?"
I look forward to continuing to read everyone's stories and update on my progress. Abby I will message you about the FB page! Thank you :)