ICI at home - any tips?

Hi. I am getting ready to do an ICI in July. I am a straight, single woman, age 40, and have a regular 28 day cycle, for the most part. I am having my good girlfriend - who heads a nursing dept at a local university - do it for me. I would love a start to finish success story of this route. I should start my period on Saturday and will use this upcoming cycle to chart my temp. My hope is to try to conceive during the following cycle, in July. According to my 'ovulation calculation' on my iPhone app I'm supposed to ovulate July 12th.

Here are my main questions:
How to unfreeze the semen?
Best time during my cycle to inseminate (pre and post ovulation)?
Best way to do it?
Is pre-seed helpful?
Is it good to have an orgasm beforehand to open the cervix?
How many vials should I get for one cycle?
Has anyone used an 'instead softcup' (instead of a conception cap) to keep the sperm in?

Sorry if I seem intense! I'm just so new to all of this and want to increase my chances of doing it at home as much as possible this first go round. Thanks!
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