When is enough enough?

bookfool

There is no answer for when to stop trying, but I'm wondering if other women out there want to share their stories. I'm (just turned) 40 and took a while to find the person with whom I wanted to start a family. Once we got together we fast-tracked the baby stuff because of my "advanced" age. We tried for 5 months with a known donor, and have recently tried 3 IUIs with no success.

As we continued down the road of my non-pregnancies, my partner, who is 5 years younger, and I made the decision that we could both try simultaneously. We want our family, and the longer it was taking me, the harder it was going to be for her to pregnant if we stuck with the initial plan (she would wait until I delivered to start trying).

My doctor wants me to keep going with Clomid and IUIs for 6 cycles. I feel like the odds are against me. We've talked about IVF with my eggs, IVF with my partner's eggs. (Should mention that we're both teachers in a state with no IVF insurance support.) Is it too soon to talk about IVF? We just want our family, and I worry that the with each time I fart around with IUI I'm just that much further away from a baby.

Where are you all with this?

Mmes. Dann

Hey, have you read the Maia book on lesbian conception? Have you tried holistic aspects of fertility in combination? There's some great information about when enough is enough, and how to take care of yourself through ttc. I don't think it's ever too early (or late) to start having any conversations about this - and I think you should keep focused on the loving family that will come of all of it!
My wife and I are just getting started, so I'm not in the same place as you two emotionally, but I have faith in the future of your family! Sending you prayers and baby dust!

austingurl

My story is also a little different, but I wanted to share some words of encouragement. I am 36. I had 4 unsuccessful IUIs. On the fifth, I pushed my doctor to let me try injectibles. I had been using femara and the trigger shot. My doctor agreed to a plan for femara days 3-7, injectibles (Menopur) days 8-10, and a trigger shot. It worked and I got pregnant. I was so excited!! Then at 8 weeks, I had a miscarriage. I decided to try 1 more IUI because my insurance would pay for IVF after 6 months of proven infertility. I never thought the IUI would work 2 times a row, and I actually met with the IVF doctor during my 2WW because I was so convinced it would not work. We used the same plan of femara, injectibles, and trigger shot. We even did the IUI at the exact same number of hours after the trigger shot. And try 6 was the magic number for me. I am now 20 weeks pregnant with twins:) Like I said, I know my story is a little different, but don't lose hope. Sometimes it just takes 6 tries to find the magic formula. Don't be afraid to push your doctor either. Mine would have never suggested injectibles if I hadn't brought it up. I explained I wanted to be very aggressive because I had set a limit of 6 tries, and my doctor supported my decision. So, do your research, do what you think it best for you, and push your doctor to go along with your plan if he/she feels it's safe for you and your medical history. Mine was very supportive and listened to my reasoning and what I wanted. Good luck!!! But I am proof sometimes it does take 6 tries.