Just wanted to introduce myself

nataliemh

Hi, everyone,
I am brand new to this and wanted to reach out for some support and advice, but I honestly don't know where to begin with my questions! I'm 32 and single, and I have always wanted to be a mom, but I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was in college. I thought any kind of fertility treatments would be out of the question for me because I am a social worker and live on under $35,000 a year and I was imagining costs in the tens of thousands, so I had actually registered to take foster parenting classes this July. As July was getting closer, I started to feel ambivalent and began to question if foster-to-adopt was really the right path for me to take. Then, at my last appointment with my RE, he asked if I had thought about trying to have a baby. He said that with clomid, he thinks I have a really good chance of conceiving with a donor within the next couple years, but, as he said, when I'm 40 it probably won't be a possibility anymore. I shared my concerns about money and he told me that the cost is along the lines of $300-$500 per try, which makes this more of a realistic possibility for me. He gave me some literature and scheduled another appointment for next month. After talking to my parents and my best friend, who were all completely supportive, I decided that I at least have to give this a shot or I will regret it for the rest of my life. If it doesn't work, I can go back to my adoption plan and won't have to spend the rest of my life wondering what if. I feel that the doctor bringing up the subject when he did was an answer to my prayers for guidance on my path to having a child. And I think I can make it work financially, although this is still a big concern for me.

Anyway, I'm sorry to be so long-winded. Anyone in the same boat financially, or with PCOS? Any general advice for starting out on this journey? I would appreciate any guidance you may have to offer.

Thanks,
Natalie

latham22

Hey natalie! I am an addictions counselor working in a state agency, so I can relate to the financial concerns and frustrations. I started saving a while back because I knew that the cost was going to be an issue. Luckily, my insurance covers everything except the sperm. So, with the exception of the sperm costs (vial and shipping costs), we are going to have about 250 dollars out of pocket per month. BUT, the sperm costs anywhere from $465-685 depending on if you use ICI or IUI/anonymous or open donor. If you use IUI, it is pre-washed vs ICI that would have to be washed by your RE. ICI vials are less expensive, but there is a cost to wash the sperm that insurance does not cover, so you will want to figure out which is the best way to go. Also, where I am located, shipping costs per month are $185. So...you will want to get a total cost from your RE per month as well as calculate what you will be paying for sperm and shipping to get your total per month. What worked for us was to take out a personal loan at the credit union to purchase the sperm (we bought 12 vials planning for at least 2 children and got 3 years free storage). We used the loan to pay CCB and set up the payments to have the loan paid off the month before we planned to have first IUI. That way we did not have that extra cost per month of buying the vial, just the shipping. That may be something that could help you...depending on how much of a hurry you are in.

With all that said, I would definitely go for it if your RE feels that it is possible and you can work it out financially! Hopefully you will have some help with insurance (fingers crossed for that). I know this process is overwhelming, especially in the beginning. My advice would be to read as much as possible on these boards and just on the internet in general. CCB has a facebook page and there is a CCB Friends facebook page that is not affiliated with CCB, but it is very helpful. Ok now I am the one being long-winded lol. If you want info on the CCB friends page, email me at klatham22@gmail.com. I think you have to have an invite to get on the page. Good luck with everything!!

nataliemh

Thank you so much for the information and advice! I am very hopeful that this will work out. Not sure where I stand with my insurance - I work (and therefore get my insurance through) a company in a mandated coverage state, but live in a neighboring state that does not have mandated coverage, so I will have to look into the particulars of my policy. But I know docs can be a little "creative" with billing when they need to be to get some procedures and tests covered. I have also done a little research on medical assistance loans, and that might be something I look into. I'm a little concerned about getting approved, because my credit history is not great, but I did buy a house a little over a year ago, and have a car loan that I've never made a late payment on, so I'm hoping that will help. I would assume my RE's office has some sort of financial counselor who can help me with this? If nothing else, I bet my parents would co-sign on a personal loan - they want a grandbaby, and they know I wouldn't risk their credit!

Again, I appreciate the info! I will definitely email you about the facebook group - what info would I need to send you?

latham22

You may want to look into Care Credit and see what options are there. I have seen some posts on here about people using that...just FYI

arae8

Hey Natalie! I'm am also 32 and have been diagnosed with PCOS. I was just inseminated for the third time today with donor #11922. My opinion is go ahead with the process. I also was worried about the financial aspect as I own a child care center, but really are you ever gonna have enough money? You can't wait until there is money because there is never enough! Surprisingly, it hasn't been as expensive as I thought it was going to be. Sure the sperm isn't covered by insurance, but a lot of the other stuff is. If you have a lot of support from your parents and friends that is all you really need. In preparation for making my decision to start this process I read lots of books and a lot of message boards. I also got a lot of advice from friends and family. My friends and family even helped in the donor selection. In the end there was no question whether or not to start the process. Anyway, if you need someone to talk to about the process you can find me on facebook or e-mail me at arae8@yahoo.com


Good Luck!
Addie Roberts

nataliemh

Thank you! I will definitely drop you a line. I hear you on there being no question about starting the process. When my RE called me with my test results, he asked how I was feeling about everything we had talked about, and I told him that my decision was pretty much made before I got to my car. I did find out my insurance doesn't cover any infertility treatments (although it does cover treatments for the underlying cause) but I think I can figure out a way to make it work :-)