young and need advice
waiting!
Posts: 5
I have been on this site just browsing for two years , I understand that the majority of single by choice are in thirties or forties , I am twenty two and have know I wanted a big family since I was a little girl. I am in the marine corps and two years ago they took out both filopian tubes do to two 6 lb benign tumors. I was devastated. I had baby fever and all I wanted was the ability back. Now two years later I am doing labs to get me on a list for invitro. I have heard many stories about women feeling as if they waited too long. My sister has had three ,started when she was 15 and now she is 25 and doing great. The list for invitro is a year and half ,then two months for everything and then 9 months so in total a little more than two years. I am not with anyone and I hear all the time that I will find someone but its not that I mind waiting on a man but I don't ever want regrets and almost every marriage I see debt end up favorably. I am not a man hater but a very independent woman. Like I said I am in the marines,so I have it all covered but 3 grand and sperm, I don't know why I hear so negative advice from people toward me planning but a single 18-21 year old can tell us she is pregnant with no plan and everyone smiles and congratulated and hear I sit with a baby fund I started when I was 16 and doubled once I had surgery and an roth I max out each year and sound proof plan but I get skeptic looks. I am very frustrated. Can someone please chime in. I want two to three kids and if I have to get back on the list each time that is years of waiting so what is wrong with me making a decision saying my children and our future is more important than waiting on a man that could or could not be there.
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Comments
I have known I wanted kids forever, and wish I had started earlier. Yes, you're young. But young people have kids all the time. You seem like you're financially secure, and have a definite reason for needing IVF. I say go for it, and good luck!
First of all, thank you for being in the Marine Corps and protecting our country.
I am only writing this next part because you are asking for our thoughts. In my opinion, I would wait a few years...save money, explore the world, try out different experiences, date, etc... You will still be a young mom if you start in your later 20s. From my own life experience, I learned so much b/w 20-30. (and even more b/w 30-39!!) :-)
That being said, Smaciegracie makes a good point too about bumps in the road.
Good luck, whatever you do!
-Karen
Might be difficult being in the Marine's but I'm sure you can handle it!
My dad was a Marine for 20 years - so I'm kinda partial to them!!!
Good luck and baby dust your way!
First, I'm active duty AF so I know what you're dealing with there. Second, I was never in any hurry to have kids when I was younger. I was told, and thought, the same thing everyone else is telling you... you're young, you'll meet "the one", you have time, live your life, etc. The only thing about all that I really agree with is the part about living your life - it's a lot easier to do by yourself than w/a child in tow.
That being said, DON'T wait on "the one". If "the one" comes along & doesn't want to have anything to be with you because you have a kid, then he's obviously not "the one". If this is what you want to do, do it. The only one who has to live with your decision is you.
I've sacraficed a lot over the past 16 years because of my AF responsibilities & I'm at the point where I'm going to be selfish & make the AF work around me for a change. DON'T wait if you know this is the right decison for you.