Still trying to figure it all out

Dboccuzzi1106Dboccuzzi1106 Posts: 1
in Single Mothers by Choice
Had my consult and all my tests and everything is good medically. I'm still struggling with going the donor route and being a single mom. I just turned 41 and never thought I would be here. Any words of wisdom to help out? I'm freaked out more about the finance than the work. Ugh, this is so hard.

Comments

  • melissaprestwoodmelissaprestwood Posts: 136
    The financial part stresses me out too, but I figure if I wait for the perfect time it will never happen. There is always something. So after 4 years of thinking about it and talking to my doctor I went through with it. I'm 34.

    As my dad always says "you will always be in debt to someone". At least if you do have to charge it, get a loan, etc it will be worth it. Can't put a price on a child.

    Good luck :)
  • BanditBandit Posts: 348
    Dboccuzzi good luck. Don't be stressed since you are 41. I just turned 43 and had my first child in Sept. He is wonderful.

    My story if you have not read it on the boards. I had a miscarriage at 40 and it took me 2 plus years to decided to go the donor route. It is a hard decision and I finally decided to go last year and bought donor sperm. In Jan I had my first IUI, which I know did not take. In Feb, I had back to back IUI's which did take. I took no medications no nothing. I just relaxed, went for acupuncture and tried hard to not stress about it.

    I did pee on a stick many times during that 2 ww. The first two times were negative, the third stick was faintly positive and I texted my sister in law and said HOLY SHIT BATMAN. That was all I sent to her, she knew. This was on day 27, on day 24 nothing on the stick. So I do not believe the sticks when they tell you they can determine 6 days before your period is due. Mine was faint on that day. I did have blood work drawn that day and then again on Monday.

    I had my son in Sept (7 weeks 2 days early). I had Severe Preclampsia and HELP. My BP is still out of wack but we are trying hard to get it under control. My son is home from the NICU and I have had tremendous support from people that I never thought I would get support from.

    My parents were in shock when I told them, but are not embarrassed about how I did it. I always told them if I did not get married I would do it on my own. Will it be hard, yep will it be stressful, (yeah) my mom has been here for 7 of the last 8 weeks but it has been helpful. She lives in FL. Some of my divorced friends say they have to fight with their ex's about certain things with the kids, I will never have to do that nor will you.

    Just remain positive, think positive thoughts and relax. It will happen. Remember I was older than you when it happened and I love my son to pieces, right now he nurses every 2 hours or so, but he is so worth it. I love him to pieces and he is a joy in my life.

    Hope this helps. Feel free to contact me offline as well.

    Good luck.
  • hope2bmomsoonhope2bmomsoon Posts: 39
    Dboccuzzi - I was also stressing if I was making the right decision. Worried about financially will it be ok, trying to pick the right donor for me, being a single mother, will it be okay but all I know is that I want a child more than anything and I know deep down that I am making the right decision. I am having my 2nd IUI (unmedicated tomorrow). I am so excited and hope it works out this time. I am 42 and hoping for the best. Good luck to you and go for what you want. It will all work out !!
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