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Scared of 2nd Miscarriage
Kinohio
Posts: 69
My partner and I are so blessed to be pregnant with 11443, but we are also terrified of another m/c. We had one in June (after 3 attempts) and this was our 5th attempt.
Has anyone else experienced multiple miscarriages or scared of another one??
Has anyone else experienced multiple miscarriages or scared of another one??
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First off, Congratz on the pregnancy! Sadly, my partner and have just suffered a miscarriage (our first). We lost the baby at 12 weeks and are devastated, as I'm sure you were after your m/c. We want to start trying asap and have already purchased more vials from the same donor. Did you use the same donor with your second attempt? Also, how soon did you start trying. We were told by our widwives to wait until we've had at least one period. I've heard that some women are more fertile after a m/c. Other doctors say to wait several cycles so the uterine lining can build back up. We had a natural m/c, so perhaps it's different with a d&c. Obviously, we -- as gay women -- have to plan a bit more carefully than heterosexual couples. How soon did you cycles return to normal after the m/c?
Sorry for the barrage of questions. But yes, we know that when we get pregnant again, we figure that entire first trimester will be frought with fear and anxiety. It never even occurred to me that I could miscarry. Now, pregancy will never be the same. How are you guys coping?
It would really be great to hear from others who've miscarried and have gone on to have successful outcomes. Please free to share stories of loss and healing, too. I think that lesbian families are unique and that there ought to be a place where we can offer support to one another.
Catherine & Laura
First of all, congratulations on your BFP! That's wonderful news.
I don't know first hand about m/c, but my friend had a m/c at 12 weeks and then went on to get a BFP two months later and didn't have any problems with that pregnancy. She now has a healthy 6 year old little boy. I know that it would be extremely hard not to worry and I'm not even going to tell you to try not too...just know that many others have gone on to deliver healthy babies after a m/c and try to find others with similar stories to give you hope.
I'll be praying for a healthy, full term pregnancy for you! :)
By the way, where are you in Ohio?
Misty and Carla
There are so many questions.. Catherine and Laura -- Did you have regular Betas done during your early pregnancy? If so, what were your early levels? I am so sorry to hear about your loss at 12 weeks. Did you hear a heartbeat? Our RE keeps telling us the percentage drastically drops after hearing the hb.
Now to your answers...We waited till' 2 regular cycles had passed (our RE would not do it any time before that) and it was the hardest 2 months of this entire process. Feeling as though we were helpless for 2 months was awful! Ours too was natural because it was VERY early in the pregnancy. The hcg levels dropped to "0" within 2 days of the m/c. Other than that.. our dealing with it was very difficult. The first 2 attempts after the m/c were the hardest. We then met with our RE and told them we need to move forward more aggressively. We started Clomid and just got the positive on our last month of Clomid. Emotionally very hard, and I'm not sure if time does help. Each month it got harder and harder but you keep trying because that is all you can do.
I hope my answers help and I can't wait to hear your answers.
I hope that you're feeling well today and that with each passing day, you feel more at peace and less worried. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Please be sure to let us know your Beta results.
Misty and Carla
8,013 25 days dpo. We continue to go up 66% every 48. Fears always get better when hearing the great numbers, but still scared.
The internet can be a double edged sword.
Looks like things are going amazingly! I hope you are able to enjoy this time and not focus too much on the all-consuming "What if's".
You are in our thoughts!
Kimberly
Sometimes there's just no way to know whether a pregnancy will be doomed. We were feeling really great about it -- especially because I had progressively worsening morning sickness from about week 7 all the way through the m/c. The only warning sign for me was that I started spotting a little brown discharge at week 10. The midwives said this was normal in 50% percent of pregnancies; the other half turn out to be miscarriages. The light spotting continued for another week and a half before we went in for a scan. That was the saddest day of my life. The image of my lifeless little baby on the screen will stay with me forever. It looked like a sleeping teddy bear. The u/s tech said its heart had likely stopped beating around the time the spotting had started. It took 2 weeks after that for me to miscarry naturally. I must admit it was so difficult to carry that baby inside of me knowing it was no longer alive. It finally happened on the day after Christmas. I ended up spending the night in the ER because I was losing way too much blood. I nearly had to have a transfusion. The body actually goes into labor. It was incredibly painful -- both physically and psychologically. I suppose I hadn't expected it to be quite so difficult. But in the end, I'm glad we let it happen that way.
10 days after the m/c, my betas were still around 500; but a week later, they had already dropped to about 50. I go in again tomorrow; hopefully, they will be down to 0.
I think youre RE is probably wise in suggesting you wait 2 cycles. It takes some time for the body to heal and for the lining to build back up. I'm still pretty anemic from all the blood loss, so I suppose that's another reason to wait. But it's so difficult! I can't imagine how you guys did it. I'm going crazy already! It must've been so exhilirating to finally get another BPF. Yet at the same time terrifying. I know I'll need lots of support the second time around.
Just know that you guys are right where you're supposed to be at this point in the pregnancy. The best thing you can do is to stay positive -- which is easier said than done after what you've been through. We'll be sending gobs of good vibes your way over the next several weeks and months.
Best of luck to you both!
Catherine & Laura
PS -- Did you say you used the same donor?
Thank you so much for sharing! It is so hard for me (my partner is much better) to stay positive after receiving the beta number of 8,013. I read your story, and many like it, and just can't imagine what happens when everything appears so good. Did you have high levels in the beginning of your pregnancy?
I commend you on your courage to be so honest. You will find the strength to get through. Keep your end goal in mind and that will drive you.
Yes, we did you use the same donor 11443. It was our third time using him and he is someone that both of us really liked! We thought about switching when it wasn't working, but he has too many characteristics that we both like.
We will have to keep in touch.. Our journey is at www.cravingofmotherhood.blogspot.com
Where are you located? As you can tell we are in Ohio.