Telling your Boss

texarkolinatexarkolina Posts: 2
in Single Mothers by Choice
I am single and in the "trying" stage, but I am concerned about the reaction that I will get at work. For single moms or moms to be...When did you tell your boss that you were pregnant? Did anyone tell their boss that they were trying? How did you explain "unscheduled" doctor's appointments?

Comments

  • mandmmandm Posts: 2
    Told my boss when I was safely in 2nd trimester that I was pregnant. Personally, I would not share that you are trying UNLESS you and your boss are outside friends. Perhaps you can make exuses that you need to leave early at time because you are having some medical issues. Good luck
  • blond2435blond2435 Posts: 4
    I told my Boss who is the best. I thought about not telling him right away but he overheard me talking and well the jig was up so to speak. He was pretty cool about it. I have told a few close co-workers both for support and I can't keep exciting news to myself. I have been happily surprised everyone I have told is outwardly supportive and they even inquire how things are going. It does make leaving for appoints that much easier. Good luck. Be happy with your decision and others will be happy for you and if not you don't need them.
  • hannahahannaha Posts: 71
    Blond2435,
    Great to know your positive attitude. You must be very friendly and open at work. I'll have IUI next week. I only tell my bro, my mom, and my doctor. I like to keep things inside my small world, because i'll be 40 on this Oct. I prefer to keep my heartful effort inside me, b/c i'm more introvert personality.
  • baileysmombaileysmom Posts: 6
    I did not tell anyone at work that I was trying to conceive.


    I started showing early on and by the time I made it to tell my boss he laughed and said he already knew. Apparently someone shared the news frist.

    I have a flexible job so the doctor's appointments were newver a problem. I alsways tried to schedule an appointment in the early am or last appointment of the day, that way I did not miss too much time from work.
  • hannahahannaha Posts: 71
    Me too, I'm working at home a lot b/c it takes 1 hour and a half to drive to work. I have a wonderful boss, but all of my colleagues have family and many kids. So i don't feel comfortable to share my private wish, eventhough they are very nice and open. Glad to find some companion here, so i don't feel so lonely and different when try to conceive a baby.
  • hannahahannaha Posts: 71
    Me too, I'm working at home a lot b/c it takes 1 hour and a half to drive to work. I have a wonderful boss, but all of my colleagues have family and many kids. So i don't feel comfortable to share my private wish, eventhough they are very nice and open. Glad to find some companion here, so i don't feel so lonely and different when try to conceive a baby.
  • diversecity71diversecity71 Posts: 5
    I'm new to this but I've been exploring the option 3 years now. I was divorced and decided when I'm ready if I'm not dating a man that I could see as the father of my children that I will choose to do it single. So here I am. All my co-workers know, I've told my family and friends. Everyone has been great. Really I thought the older people would groan and I live in a town that has a high rate of grannies running around. All my granny neighbors and friends in town are buzzing about it. Those women ask so many questions and are signing up for babysitting duties. I expected shock and I am a christian and so far even those in my christian circle have been fully supportive. You'll be suprised at the reaction. I think people are more shocked when a teeny bopper or irresponsible girl gets knocked up by some random guy. Making a plan and deciding to become a mother is a beautiful thing regardless of relation status.
  • chrisjean66chrisjean66 Posts: 1
    Shortly after deciding to be a single mom, I had a meeting with my boss and supervisor to discuss it. I needed to know if my job would be flexible enough to allow for me to leave for inseminations on short notice. They were very supportive and excited with me. I realize that I am extremely lucky to have such a strong support group at work. I have never had to worry about missing work and they have certainly handled all my different moods very well. Good luck!
  • hadounihadouni Posts: 9
    I told my boss before I started actively ttc, but was committed to going for it. They've been pretty supportive. We had a little hiccup recently when they started thinking about exactly how much was going to have to be done while I'm on maternity leave, but overall it's been fine.
  • karenmankarenman Posts: 39
    It's funny to see all of these. I'm 38, just finalized my divorce, and am SO open - I've told at least 10 people at work that I'm going to try with a donor. I'm sure it will get back to my boss. I went to HR the other day to try to find alternative health insurance that would cover in vitro (no luck). I don't know what the laws are, but was thinking we should formally tell work on the earlier side so they can't let us go.
  • dschaffelddschaffeld Posts: 31
    Hi Everyone. Im very new to this - I have my first doctor appointment on the 23rd and have a question on the boss thing. I dont know if Im a 'fertility issue'. I know I am a 'cant find the right guy issue'. How much time off from work will I need? How many appointments? Im a high school teacher and it is VERY HARD to take off school. Any thoughts are welcomed. Thanks.
  • samsmomsamsmom Posts: 47
    Welcome Dschaffeld! I didn't tell my boss until I was 11 weeks pregnant because the jig was definitely up! He noticed I was going to the dr alot but thought it was the change of life!

    Anyway, number of appointments will vary depending on your situation, but there is the IUI appointment, luckily I surged on a Friday and was inseminated on a Saturday. After I missed my period and go the BFP, I had to go in for 2 blood test to confirm my HCG and prog levels were increasing- 2 Fridays-I went in as early as possible as not to miss work or cause suspicion. 6.5 week ultrasound, then the monthly doctors appointments until month 7, bi-weekly appointments, then weekly. There is the 18-20 week ultrasound and any other test they want you to take.

    My boss has been great and as long as I keep up with work he doesn't say anything. He checks on me regularly and I keep him posted.

    Baby Blessings!
  • AimeeMacAimeeMac Posts: 14
    I am currently trying and so far have gotten lucky with weekend and early morning appts. The place I go to opens at 6:45 am so that people can come in before work. They also will make lunch time appointments. So far I have only had to miss a lot for the initial consultation.

    If I am lucky enough to get pregnant - I don't plan on letting anyone at work know until I am safely in the second trimester. With doing it on my own - I don't want to take any chances.

    I am glad to see that I am not the only one wondering how to handle this. Glad to hear that everyone that has let people know has had positive reactions :)

    Best of luck to you all!
  • katygkatyg Posts: 2
    I am about to have my first IUI attempt this coming week. I ended up deciding to tell my boss and supervisor because of the number of times I had to come in late after early morning tests.

    I am a teacher in an elementary school so anytime I'm going to be late we have to arrange for someone to cover my class. When I realized that this week I could end up being late 4 days, depending on when I ovulate, I knew it was better to lay it out there so that it would be easier to arrange cover for my students. My head of school and principal were both fabulous - far more supportive than I could have even imagined, so I feel like a huge load has been removed and I can focus more on TTC.

    My RE opens at 7 and starts testing at 7.30am so if I get there as one of the first few people I can be done and at work by 8.15 but that is still 15 minutes after the kids come into the classroom so I need someone to cover from 8 until I get there. It turns out my principal and his wife conceived their kids through IVF so he is completely understanding about the number of times I need to go for bloodwork as well as this week being possibly 1 day but possibly 4.

    Good luck to everyone!
    Katy
  • smaciegraciesmaciegracie Posts: 296
    I told my boss around ten weeks only because she started getting annoyed with my requests for time off and was acting like she would deny them. However, I lost that baby and will be trying again. I won't tell my boss or co-workers when I start trying again or when I get pregnant. I feel like my boss started treated me different after she found out...calling me in the office about stupid things and be overly anxious to see if I had made any mistakes. I think she was stressed a little because there was one other lady due the same week I was (July) and one due in (March). I'll be keeping my mouth shut next time.
  • suisui Posts: 51
    SOrry Smacie that you lost the baby, that is why I will not say anything till I show or definitely after 12 weeks. It's a personal decision. Since I am doing this solo without a partner, it's a lot to deal with on your own let along everyone knowing, the workplace is tricky and you have to be careful what you share. In today's job economy, you need to be careful. I do not feel obligated to share anything. I am entitled to family leave with a note. Hope everyone is doing well.

    Good luck Smacie!!
  • egarnseyegarnsey Posts: 1
    I am in the trying stage. I'm an Episcopal priest in a big church and a single woman, so I have told my boss and a few close friends, as well as one other colleague at work--mostly to get a feel for what I should prepare for in people's reactions. My job is so public. I'm on display every week, every day; I won't be able to hide it, and this is such an unconventional approach to motherhood--especially within my professional context. People expect me to be By The Book, and so I'm taking my chances that people will be happy and supportive. So far it has been very positive to share my plans and hopes with my boss, because in my case, I couldn't do it--and plan to keep my job--without his support. He's excited and hopeful with me, which has been an amazing load off my chest (that I didn't realize I had, until it was lifted!).
  • smaciegraciesmaciegracie Posts: 296
    Sui- I would definitely wait until you start showing. I lost my baby right at the 4th month and everybody at work knew (it's a big clinic with over 40 doctors). This next time I won't be sharing any info at all.

    Egarnsey- I'm so happy that you have the support from your church people. The church people I told were very critical and saying I wasn't in God's will etc. They had a field day when I lost my baby saying that since I did this on my own God took my baby...etc. I won't be telling any of them either.
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