IUI#4 feels like a failure, though I havent tested yet

KrisAz

It has been such a lousy Monday, I've beeen grouchy and don't want to get up again and go to work if my period comes. Because if it does, it's always worst due to progesterone. I am at the end of my fertility rope and will not attempt an IVF with my own eggs again, and paying for these treatments is putting a strain on me. I was on Chlomid and Follistim, responded well, 3 big follies and a small one and my estrogen was pretty high, the RE could tell when he did the insemination. I balked at the numbers my donor had (12.5 mil)which I knnow is acceptable but I got my last two BFP's from 'super sonic' sperm and this donor didn't have it. I dont know, my eggs are older. That Pregnyl shot was evil too, didnt even use all of it and it made me so crampy, moody, sore tatas. I don't think it is all out of my syetem so I won't test right now as it will give a false pos. And I have had non stop cramps for the past week which is what i usually get when conception has occurred but these are starting to get worst, and I can't help but feel AF is coming. So if I get any sleep tonite i need to pack the feminine goods in case this happens at work, which will suck but oh well. I think I am on to California Conceptions Donor Embryo after this.

jaimec

Kris - hang in there! I know how you feel, I have had 8 negative IUI's (1 positive that ended at 12 weeks) and have moved to IVF.
Has your doctor said there is something wrong with your eggs or are you speculating? I was on Clomid for 1 cycle but got major cysts so moved on to injectables after that. The medication and/or dose I used for IUI's wasn't bad but the higher doses/more meds for IVF definitely make me moody!!!
Let us know how your day went.

KrisAz

I have a new RE, and this is my first IUI with him. He was surprised that two of my three IUI's have had BFPs, but my age and elevated FSH is still an issue. 39 yr old eggs are not easy to fertilize and he thinks my losses are strictly due to egg quality. I have not felt this miserable physically I dont think. My period was due today or tomorrow, varies slightly. I tested early this morning and BFN, but his office says I tested a little too early. And progesterone can delay my period too and its also contributing to the yuckiness I feel.I will go in for bloodwork Thurs or Fri if period is not here.It still feels like my period wants to come. The last BFP I got, I made it to 7 wks, I did not test positive until I missed my period for two, 3 days and my beta numbers were slow to double. I also had non-stop pregnancy cramping the entire time and I was sort of expecting it to end badly after I got my first ultrasound. But I still think this is a BFN. I will not attempt IVF with my own eggs again.. I attempted it last year and it was converted to an IUI and I think I was over-suppressed by the Lupron-I should have had a much better response and I ended up getting the BFP but that was the last m/c. I was on so much FSH injections it was unreal.. I ended up buying a ton of stuff just from private sellers, and the Lupron, the Cetrotide, it was grueling. This time around, I did Chlomid and Follistim which seemed to work pretty well so it is hit and miss with me. My old RE did not want me on Chlomid for some reason,It seems us older gals do better with a combo of Clomid and injectables. I am running out of money and getting frustrated that i didn't do this 5 yrs ago, I would probably be a mother by now. I am sorry you lost yours at 12 weeks.. wow, they say once you make it past the 10 week mark, most women are ok. And I have been terribly moody the past few days, mainly because I don't know for sure the outcome of this and I'm just tired in general. My sister is wanting to know also, but she knows my history and I'm already Debbie Downer. If this is a BFN, I'm going to lose the few pounds Ive gained this past month, start working out again and just decide what to do from here. Blahhhhh. Thanks for listening and letting me vent.

jaimec

It was on my 5th IUI that I got pregnant. I actually tested a couple of days early and got the BFP. I had no complications, no cramping, spotting or anything. I had an appt with my regular ob/gyn and everything looked great. Six days later was my NT ultrasound and there was no longer a heartbeat. Total shock to say the least. I requested pathology be done after my D&C and they did find that my little guy had Downs Syndrome. I think that makes it harder, because I knew it wouldn't have mattered to me. Obviously Downs doesn't always result in miscarriage, but my docs are assuming that is what happened in my case, because they can't find any other reason. My due date was last month and that was soooo hard, as I'm sure you understand.
I am 35 and glad I started when I did even though it was a hard decision.
I have put on so much weight! Not sure if it's the stress, the meds or some combination of it all.
Vent away!! I know it's hard to stay positive, but I always hear that pre-menstrual symptoms are a lot like early pregnancy symptoms so my fingers are still crossed for you!