Going to 1st visit at fertility doc

azyoginiazyogini Posts: 13
in LGBTQ+ Couples
Hi there,

I'm really new to this. My partner and I are going for our first new patient consultation with a fertility doc on 4/22. My primary ob/gyn felt she could do in-office IUI for me, but my partner feels weird about having the shipment come to our house. I do too.

We feel with a clinic at least we'd have a one-stop shop, so to speak. It's a bit more expensive - about $100 or so. But perhaps that is worth our peace of mind. I can't imagine driving around with it!

Do you have any suggestions for questions I should ask the doctor? My periods are regular (I've been tracking them since July 2008), and I'm healthy at 33 YO. I am wary of taking fertility drugs because my body has never been exposed to any sperm, so I feel I have no real way of knowing how it will react to a well-timed try.

Any suggestions or thoughts? I feel a bit lost and am not sure what to do or think.

Comments

  • kimi723kimi723 Posts: 231
    Azyogini~

    Congratulations on your new journey!

    Most doctors will suggest some early testing (hystosalpinogram) just to make sure there aren't any issues you are not aware of (fallopian tube blockage, etc).

    Also, most doctors will allow you to do natural cycles, before moving to any of the fertility meds.

    While I completely understand you wanting to start slow, don't wait too long before moving to the next step if what you are doing is not working. Too often it takes MUCH longer than you anticipate.

    Best of luck to you!
    Kimberly
  • thesnowawaythesnowaway Posts: 31
    Hi Azyogini,
    Welcome aboard. Just wanted to echo the sentiments above. My partner and I started in November of last year. She (carrier) is relatively young (30 when we started), very healthy, VERY regular cycles, and like you, never exposed to sperm so we assumed we would have no problem.

    First IUI was natural (no fertility meds or anything else). After that first tortuous TWW, and after reading others' stories and learning that it isn't as easy or as fast as we had thought, we decided that we didn't waste time so started w/ Clomid and Ovidrel. We're both 31 now, and I plan to carry next. Knowing what I know now, I know that we need to get this show on the road if I'm going to be able to carry next.

    Anyway, during one of the monitoring IUIs, we discovered a polyp (there was nothing to indicate that there would have been one) and took a month off for surgery. We're in our fourth TWW now, and if it doesn't work, she'll have an hsg. I wish we would have had that done before we even started, and spent all this time and money.

    I don't want to scare you; some people do get pg on their first try, even in mid-30s or later, and I certainly hope that's the case for you!

    As for questions, I would ask the Dr how many unmedicated tried s/he typically gives before moving on to something else. Also, you'll want to know if your clinic is open on Saturdays and Sundays (we've found ourselves at ours on a lot of Sunday mornings, so thankfully they're open).

    As far as shipping, I don't think we would've minded having it shipped to our house, but our fertility clinic has someone who receives and stores all the shipments, so we found it just as well to have it shipped there. But you should do whatever makes you most comfortable.

    Good luck! I've found these boards to be incredibly helpful, just to learn the specifics about the process - and it's far more complicated than I ever thought. A last note, it's great that you're tracking cycles; you should probably also start checking for your surge, to have an idea of when you ovulate, and to make sure your luteal phase is long enough.

    Cheers,
    Cindy
  • virgo91079virgo91079 Posts: 49
    Welcome to the wonderful world of WTF does that mean?! My partner and I are also new to this process...we went to our fertility doctor and she gave us a "to do list" with a price list right next to the "to do's". We went to our first consultation about 3 months before we actually wanted to start...and so far I think that has really given us a good amount of time to get the list done and save up for costs. I had to obtain a regular doctor and get my yearly yuck done 1st. Then I got an HSG done (there is a post on the board about this if you want to know more about it). We have just picked our donor and this month I need to get my blood work done and a phone consult. We are planning our first IUI in May so I'm assuming I call the fertility doctor on my firt cycle day and she will tell us what to do next.
    Sorry I kind of took off on our life but I have noticed that it really helps to read about others experiences and advice..
    We also have a facebook group called CCB Friends that is pretty awesome!
    Any chance you are in Dallas? There is a group of us that get together every once in while for added support...
    Okay, feel free to holla at me if you feel completely lost because most likely, I am too.
  • azyoginiazyogini Posts: 13
    Hi there,

    Thanks so much for your responses.

    Sorry, Virgo, but I'm not in Texas. :) But I'm lost as all heck, so I'd love to keep in touch with you about it.

    I forgot to mention that my primary ob/gyn had originally suggested we do the HSG test just to be sure everything is on the up and up. My insurance covers it at 100% along with also covering our first new patient visit with the fertility doc. This guy we are going to used to be the big wig at Mayo Clinic, so I'm hopefully the man knows his stuff. One would think. He has gotten great reviews locally and comes highly recommended. So, I'm going to ask him about the HSG right out of the gate and push for that to be done.

    The good news on the money front is that we have been saving for this for literally years, so we have a good chunk of change in the bank and hopefully should be able to pay for this all in cash.

    My doctor also ran some of the tests and blood work awhile ago, but perhaps they will make me repeat them. It's fine because my insurance will cover it, so that's positive. I just hope they don't ask like typical insurance jerks and start protesting. But, I have a lot of cash saved so hopefully we can avoid as many out-of-pocket costs as possible but I guess if we do need to pay for it - we will be able to.

    My insurance doesn't cover the IUIs or anything AFTER the "diagnosis of infertility." I find that all quite amusing because I FEEL very fertile. This lesbian body just hasn't ever seen any sperm, so...LOL

    The suggestion about tracking with the BBT (is that right thing to call it - I'm still new to all of the terms around here) is probably a good one. Perhaps I'll run over to the drugstore and pick one up today. It sounds like it can't hurt to do that.

    I tried to find your group on FB, but I couldn't. I would love to join, but I'm not sure I want the group all over my page and to have everybody all up in my business about this. I have some work folks on my FB page. I wonder if there's a way to mark it with privacy settings?

    Thanks again, ladies.
  • azyoginiazyogini Posts: 13
    Found the FB group and reviewed the privacy settings. Looks like you great ladies already figured out what I was thinking about the privacy aspect. ;) Thanks!
  • momx2momx2 Posts: 134
    Just wanted to say good luck.
    Our RE did not have either of us jump on with meds. Dp did three natural cycles b4 meds and I did one...had to use clomid then Femara because issues came up.I just wanted to share that with you so you did not feel you would have to use meds.We have two sets of friends who used our doc and have had both kids w/no meds. We are on our 2nd IVF but we are not the norm...the stats were not on our side...SO FAR anyway!
    I hope you have first timer's luck
    Good luck!
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