Trouble with my decision...HELP!!!!

bellafiorelabellafiorela Posts: 16
in Selecting a Sperm Donor
As seen in the topic I posted prior to this, my husband and I can't decide between donors 11241 and 5575. One of them is almost too perfect---except for the staff impression---the staff usually comments on their attractiveness when they have nice facial features...no comment was made on his impression.

I feel bad that it has come down to looks, but I couldn't sleep last night....this donor is a major OVER-achiever, could he be beefing up his resume??? No offense, but my husband is very handsome and we always thought we would make beautiful babies---so looks seem to be weighing in for our choices.

11241 is more normal. I'm just nervous about his family's height. Again...HEIGHT...how do you make a decision when it comes down to that.

I'm so torn right now. Any advice to my madness would be appreciated!!!! Have a Happy Easter as well to all.

Comments

  • hannahahannaha Posts: 71
    Hi Bellfiorela,
    In my opinion, beauty is on the eyes of beholder.
    When choosing the donors with very good staff impression, but when buying the baby pictures, I don't feel the connection to baby, then I don't choose them.

    However, my most favorite does not have baby pics and come from very good well educated family, with very good staff impression. But now, I have to change to other donor after 2 IUI failure.

    So no matter how well we choose the donor, the outcomes of every IUIs and the cost will drive our decision to choose which one again and again later. For me, It is sad to switch donor, but sometimes, we have to do what we don't want to do.
    Happy Easter.
  • leiatleiat Posts: 29
    I love grey eyes and blond hair. When I saw 11592 and his credentials (Phd)and a family history three generations of grey eyes and blond hair.
    I immediately deleted my other favorite and ended my search. He is very educated and the other 50% would be ME.

    Don't rely too much on staff impressions or attractiveness scale.

    I dont trust staff impressions, I called last week and they said my donor was 7 on a scale of 5 to 8. I called the next day and he was a 6. aagrr.
    His baby pic is enough and I am pleased with his long profile.

    If you cant decide on either of those two. Choose 02467 (have his baby pic and he is so cute)
  • ualtiggerualtigger Posts: 589
    leiat:

    Let us know how things turn out for you, okay? When do you intend to get started... or have you already?

    Hannaha:

    I'm sorry to hear that things didn't go well... I have such high hopes for you and all of us on this journey... YOU WILL SUCCEED... we all will if we keep trying.
  • leiatleiat Posts: 29
    Started on March 30th with Ovidrel Trigger shot ( called CCB to overnight my DS to NYC)

    IUI on March 31 ( 34 hours after trigger)

    Ovulated on April 01 after 3pm (stretchy CM for 13 hours then it disappeared and changed texture)

    April 10, 10dpo BFN with Clear Blue digital ( good, to make sure the ovidrel was out of my system)

    Today 11dpo BFN with First Repsponse. This is ok, it is way too early to test (if i implanted late).

    Will do the blood test on 14dpo for the real results. My first IUI lol
  • ualtiggerualtigger Posts: 589
    Hoping for that BFP for you!! Just getting started since I had my first RE appt on the 7th. AF is due on the 28th so I hope to get the blood work done the 29th or 30th.
  • leiatleiat Posts: 29
    If you are using DS, make your selection but don't purchase vials too early. Unless you are shipping all your vials to your RE, CCB will charge you for storage after one month of free storage.

    I bought 5 vials too early February 22 and my IUI wasnt until March 31. I had to pay to store the other 4 vials after they had shipped 1 vial to my RE.

    Then again, uumm , it is probably OK to purchase and have it just in case the donor is no longer available.

    Good luck ualtigger, Hannaha, and bellafiorela.
  • ualtiggerualtigger Posts: 589
    I plan to purchase next week and ship to my RE's office... UIC here in Chicago... they gave me the paperwork and who to contact for storage so I don't have to worry that the vials won't make it here in time... and thanks for answering my question I posed to CCB... I have a month of free storage before I have to pay for it... thanks!
  • bellafiorelabellafiorela Posts: 16
    WOW---awesome responses from everyone. Thanks so much for the feedback.

    I most appreciate the comment about the connection to the picture...that just might be the answer. I don't think I have a connection to one of the pictures, but do to the other. If this is what makes a decision for us, then so be it. ITS SOOOO HARD!!!!! I know that once that baby is in my arms or in my husband's arms, none of this will matter....its just getting there.

    I wish everyone that responded and also to those that fall upon this all the luck and blessings!!!
  • ButterflyButterfly Posts: 47
    Its hard choosing between 2 donors you really like..I have a smiliar problem. I have already bought vials and have them in storage. I couldnt choose only ONE donor so I purchased vials of 2 diffrent donors but havent used them yet.

    What If I feel a connection to the baby pic but I dont feel such a connection to the long profile and essay? I actually have vials of donor 11241. I feel connection to his baby pic but dont feel an emotional connection from him based on his profiles.

    On the other hand, there is the other donor I have vials from which doesnt have a great baby pic(I dont feel particularly connected to the pic) but I find his essay and long profile completely interesting, I kinda feel an emotional connection to him, he is an open donor and has a higher attractive rating according to the CCB reps..advice?
  • ButterflyButterfly Posts: 47
    I might also add that this is such a problem for me cause my open donor is now retired meaning that I wont be able to get more vials from him. I had bought his last vials and he wont be releasing anymore..I might only have enough for one pregnancy..on the other hand donor 11241 has plenty more and he is active in the program but I dont feel that emotionally connected to him..I dont wanna have to choose for a third donor. I need to work with what I have..what can I do? advice? Thanks.
  • hannahahannaha Posts: 71
    Also remember the baby is the miracle of life which will choose us to implant in our body as well..:). The baby will have 50% of donor/his ancestors, and 50% of us/our ancestors.

    If I was you, Butterfly, I choose donor 11241 to make thing simpler.

    My favorite one which i have strong emotional connection, does not have pregnancy reports and have plenty available. However, while reading some email here, I just incident know about the other donor with his baby pic make me smile and feel happy. That feeling is what I've been longing to see in the baby pic. Two people I know here got pregnancy with him.

    So for the 3rd IUI, I choose this donor, but I don't eliminate the chance that I stick with one that I really connection emotional, no matter what his picture look likes....:). I haven't order anything yet until the end of this month.

    God Bless Us All in this journey.
  • hannahahannaha Posts: 71
    Butterfly,
    I forget one more point, if you already purchased the vials of both favoriate donors, then just use them all one by one. No decision need to make any more...:).

    Let the babies make the decision to implant inside our body..:). We are done with our duty for our own fate..:).
  • alivinalivin Posts: 143
    We are thinking of using 5575 as well. Any other donors who have had success with this donor?
  • alivinalivin Posts: 143
    We chose donor 5575, he had everything that we are looking for!! Please let us know what you decide, best of luck!
  • alivinalivin Posts: 143
    Just so you know the attractiveness rating for donor 5575 was an 8!! I called 2x to confirm and the representative told me that that number is determined by a panel of woman. It is a scale from 1-10 however mostly all of their donors are a 5-8. The scale can go up to 8.5 the male representative told me this, but that they have never given out an 8.5.
    We are super excited!!!
  • alivinalivin Posts: 143
    Just so you know as well the attractiveness scale is recorded in a book or something, so I'm not sure how it would change from representative to representative unless they were looking up the wrong person!!
  • leiatleiat Posts: 29
    As I mentioned in the third post from the top. I dont know what to think about their scale.

    I called recently and they told me my donor looked like Woody Harrelson. Now, to be honest, I won't date a guy who looks like Woody, but I had already purchased 5 vials.

    I am hoping my IUI that I did today does not take so I could switch to another donor.

    agrrr
  • ualtiggerualtigger Posts: 589
    Leiat:

    How're you doing, girl? Did you get the BFP?
  • leiatleiat Posts: 29
    In my mind, my first IUI the timing was perfect. I "O"ed a few hours after the IUI but it didnt take.

    I had another IUI a week ago and today is 6days past IUI (6dpiui). Will go tomorrow on day 7 for a progesterone level test.

    The two week wait is on but I am too busy to be impatient. lol
  • ualtiggerualtigger Posts: 589
    Leiat:

    Got my fingers crossed for you, hon... I just placed my order today... hope to go in next week for my IUI.

    I know about being too busy to be impatient... the airline world is running me crazy!! :-)
  • ualtiggerualtigger Posts: 589
    Going for U/S tomorrow... doc is worried that I will ovulate over the weekend... when it would be too late to IUI on Monday. He has Ovidrel standing by in case I need it. My "man" :-) got here today so he's waiting in case we can IUI tomorrow instead.

    Here we go...
  • xochitl9xochitl9 Posts: 7
    leiat, at least he doesn't look like Carrot Top. We called about a different donor and they described him as having a unique look...like Carrot Top. YIKES!
  • leiatleiat Posts: 29
    Matter of fact, that IUI three weeks ago didnt work. I am schedule for another in two days with a different donor. The third time might be a charm.

    The minute I found out my donor was not attractive as an adult I switch to another.
  • alivinalivin Posts: 143
    Leiat which donor did u decide on? I wish you the best of luck this time around. Sending lots of baby dust your way!!
  • leiatleiat Posts: 29
    Decided on 11385..cause his profile said goodlooking. haha
  • ualtiggerualtigger Posts: 589
    leiat:
    How're you doing? I'm almost done with TWW.
  • alivinalivin Posts: 143
    Leiat I really do hope that the 3rd time is a charm!! How are you??
  • alivinalivin Posts: 143
    Bellafiorela did you ever decide on which donor you guys will be using??
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