:(

DNROSSDNROSS Posts: 43
in LGBTQ+ Couples
Hello Ladies

On my last try which was in November my results ended up in a miscarriage and every since then i have been constantly sad and crying most of the time, some days are better than others... It even scares me to think about trying again. I really dont know how to overcome this... Any one has any advice they can give me?

Comments

  • 4usbaby4usbaby Posts: 38
    I am SO sorry for your loss, I have not experienced what you are going through personally but my wife and I decided that we would consider adoption (which is route we were going to try initially). We have friends that have adopted and truly love their child and are considering adopting more, so don't rule it out totally. Sending you healing, supportive energy!!
  • austingurl123austingurl123 Posts: 35
    Dnross, a miscarriage is so hard. I was a mess after mine last May. Everyone kept asking me if I was going to try again, and I kept saying I didn't know. The truth was I didn't know. I wanted to try so bad but was so scared. I ended up trying my very first cycle after the miscarriage. I didn't tell anyone though. I got pregnant that cycle. My thought was that waiting wasn't going to make it any easier, and I wasn't ready to give up. I admit I broke down crying the first time I went back to my dr for tests. I also requested a dif exam room than the one I was in when no heartbeat was detected. My dr and staff are amazing. They hugged me as I cried and asked if I was sure I was ready. They talked me through it. I don't regret trying again. My preg wasn't easy. I was preg with twins, went into labor at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix, lost my son, and spent 4 months in Nicu with my daughter. And I still say trying again was the right choice for me. Only you can decide for you. I am sorry for your loss.
    Oh, and one reason I jumped right back in was because my dr said the first 3 months after a D&C are the most fertile. I know other drs feel differently about that but his theory is the uterus and tubes are good and clean. There must be something to it, I got preg with twins the first month. Lol
  • DNROSSDNROSS Posts: 43
    HELLO 4usbaby... My wife and i have considered it and will do it down the line, we really would like to carry. thank you for the support

    Hello austingurl123 seeing your name made me think of the Cinderella movie... i did want to go and try back but i was not ready at all i knew if i went back i would have gotten pregnant again because i did hear that as well about the D&C but all i kept thinking what if i go and it happens again that was the only thing on my mind... i mean some days are better than others i am ok and then others i am just a mess.. I am trying to prepare myself because my wife and i would like to try again next month (which will be the first time after the miscarriage) but i am just sooooooooo scared i need to go in with positive thoughts... I will do the same i wont tell anyone once we go again it will stay between her and I every one else knowing just make things that much harder :(... Congrats on you baby girl :)
    thank you for your support
  • austingurl123austingurl123 Posts: 35
    The first few sonograms were really scary. My miscarriage was at 8 weeks, so those tests scared the heck out of me. I thought I was on easy street after 12 weeks. Little did I know the worse was ahead of me. It's not easy. Honestly, it's scary as hell. But you survived a miscarriage, so you are a stronger person now. And if you were not ready to give up trying, then you just gotta bite the bullet and go for it. LOL. That was my attitude anyway. The sooner I got going, the sooner it would be over. And it may sound bad, but I hated being pregnant. It was so stressful, and I was so tired. Every cramp or change in my body scared me because I thought something was wrong. It was actually an uneventful pregancy until week 23, but I hated it. I complained constantly.
    Only you know if you are ready to try again, but I went in with the attitude of I survived miscarriage once and I can do it again if needed. And like I said, the sooner I got preg, the sooner it would all be over. LOL. I know...that is just a great attitude, but it worked for me.
  • austingurl123austingurl123 Posts: 35
    Oh, and my baby born at 23 weeks weighed 1lb 3oz. She is now 10lbs 3oz and is 5 months old. If she had been born on her due date, she would be 7 weeks. She smiles, rolls over, and keeps me up every night. Trying again was the scariest and best decision I ever made. Heck, I am already thinking of trying again next March for the next one. Once you hold your baby, it's worth all the fear, moments of sheer terror, tiredness, and everything. Don't let fear keep you from your dream of having a baby.
  • DNROSSDNROSS Posts: 43
    5 months after my miscarriage i went and got a tattoo and it says FAITH every time i look at it i kiss it i have FAITH... I know it will happen to us we just have to wait our turn. Spoke with my wife yesterday and we decided we will go next month... You see how you were through your pregnancy i feel like i am going to be like that just because i had the miscarriage everything will just be an alarm to me and i dont want to go through my prgenancy like that i actually want to be happy and at ease and not stress :( but how will i not be able to right!!! Godbless your baby girl :) I will do my very best in over coming my fear, talking helps me alot i am able to let how i feel out with someone one who understands and it helps alot... i thank you for taking your time to read and speak with me
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