Is there any hope for me?

BabyJazz

I am 38 years old. I always knew I wanted kids. I didnt put my career ahead of having kids. I just kept holding out to meet the right man to have kids with. It was not easy, but I finally let go of that idea...only it may be too late for me. I got the results of my basal follicle count, FSH, Clomid Challenge, and AMH today. I went in with a long list of questions about my chances of still possibly conceiving the natural way, IUI, how many cycles with or without drugs, sperm banks, costs, local support groups (getting in touch with other single moms in the making), etc... NEVER, EVER did I expect to hear that even with in vitro, the chances of me having a child with my own eggs is less than 5%. I thought I had gotten over the absolute hardest part of this journey by letting go of the husband first idea and becoming comfortable with my decision financially. This has hit me like a ton of bricks. I am all for the use of an egg donor and adoption. I just never thought those would be my best options. It also took a while to be okay with the idea of not knowing the father. The idea of looking at that child and seeing me helped. Now, that's pretty much being taken away from me. Have some of you been told this but beat the odds anyway? My doctor said he would do whatever I want him to do...Several cycles of IUI, In Vitro with my own eggs (if any can be extracted). In so many words, he said anything is possible, but he was being real wtih me. My total BAFC was around 7. My FSH and Clomid Challenge were 17.3 and 6.3. My AMH was 0.2. He says the AMH pretty much confirms the high FSH. This is so very hard. Everyone assumed I would be fine. Me, being such the picture of health. I can blame no one. If I blame anyone, I can only blame myself. Still, I would love to go out and WHACK just about every ex-boyfriend I wasted precious time with. Someone out there...give me hope. Tell me your outlook was as bleak as mine but that you still had a successful pregnancy with your own eggs.

smaciegracie

Wow, I can't say that my situation was the same, but it did take me seven cyles of IUI to get pregnant. I hope you get a bfp with your own eggs. Be blessed and always pray. God likes to take situations that seem impossible to man and turn them around. It's not over until God say's it's over. He's able, girl. When I felt hopeless God always stregthened my faith. In March of this year I went to Idaho all the way from Oklahoma to support my sister and her church in there Pastor's Apprection weekend. At that time nobody in my family knew of my struggle to get pregnant or that I was trying. The pastor's sermon was from 1st Samuel Chapter 1, it talks about the story of Hannah who longed for a son. The pastor illustrated the story so well that I was trying my hardest not to cry. At the end of the sermon he called me up to the front and he said, "Sister, I know you're jusy visiting,but you had some things on your mind when you came up here." He said, "God said just like Hannah you can praise him in advance because it's already done." That was my confirmation that God had seen every tear and heard every cry and that would give me what I asked of him. I started my IUI's back in October, and when that one failed I was angry and confused. BUT God sent someone to encourage me that night. That Sunday I was still angry and sad, but they sang a song : He's Able. This song encouraged me, I played when it when the negative thoughts came, I keeped it on my mind. When I did my next IUI which happened to be my 7th (number of completion) and my birthday, two weeks later I recieved my promise. I'd like to share this song with you and I hope the message encourages you. HE'S ABLE!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIAGWndg2Fw

TeddyTails

Hi BabyJazz,

Wow, your story sounds just like me. I have had all the worthless boyfriends that I wasted my time on, etc. And I am now in the same situation you are. I just turned 38 last month and had the high FSH and similar numbers that you have. However, my RE did not give up on me. She put me on BCP and come to find out I had a cyst which was throwing the #'s off (go figure). My FSH went from 16 to 8, now in the acceptable range.

Today is the last day of my active BCP and I go in on the 19th for blood and ultrasound. I decided to go with IVF even though I could do IUI. But, IVF gives me a higher % of getting pregnant. I will be doing a medicated cycle (not too excited about the injectibles), but if it works, well then it is all worth it.

Don't give up just cause you received some bad #'s. I received bad #'s too, but my RE has a lot of ideas. It may just be you need a different protocol.

I normally post on the IVF Take 2 link since there are a few of us who are going through the same thing.

I hope this helps, I know when I first received my #'s I thought it was all over for me too. But there is some hope out there.

Good Luck in your Journey.
Deb

tmccollum

BabyJazz, come visit the pregnant despite high fsh group. http://www.network54.com/Forum/264844/

That is where you will see all the success stories. Here is the ttc board for the high fsh gals. http://www.network54.com/Forum/209394/

I have made so many great friends there. I have not yet succeeded, but am hanging in there. I had an ectopic around this time last year. That was on an IUI cycle. I did do one IVF that didn't work. I can't afford another, so am doing IUI's on the months where I have eggs on the good tube side. I'm an over 40 though.....it seems like a lot of the high fsh'ers under 40 do succeed and about 1/4 of the ones over 40. Good luck and come join us! Here is the over 40 high fsh board where I tend to post. http://www.network54.com/Forum/53068/

xoxo

stargazer7

BabyJazz...just wanted to speak a word of encouragment to you. I am 42 and just starting this process. I have my first appointment with the RE in 2 weeks so I will know more then. I read someone's blog that said don't blame yourself for why you're here (or waited this late) we all have legitimate reasons...life happens. that helped me so much to ease up on me:) In my case I went back to school, but I'm here now, and that's what counts :]

ualtigger...I ordered the book you recommended. It sounds like a good one. I have been taking evening primrose oil and a product called Fert-Ovulate. A friend recommended it. Somethings going on I think....anyway I sure feel alot better....been sleeping much better. I've changed my diet too, which I think has helped also & started exercising {{shock}}...lol. (it hasn't been as difficult as it was in the past, I think because I have a totally different motivation ...a little one:)


Blessings to you all, all day long(*.*)

BabyJazz

Thanks everyone for the words of encouragement. And thanks tmc for the weblinks. I will definitely check them out. Actually, message boards simiilar to these have helped me stay positive. I ran across another site that had a catergory for women with high FSH that went on to become pregnant. I will definitely keep trying (or should I say start trying!). I have an appt. with a second RE this week. Foolishly I sent the first RE's notes to him and his staff called me to say he reviewed the notes and was in agreement. He did not say he would not work with me. The first one didn't either. He was just so cold and short. I did not get a very good feel for the first RE. Plus, he's part of the one shop in town and out of my insurance network. The one I'll see this week is close to home and in network. He also worked with a family memeber of mine with IVF, but he probably has not made the connection yet.

TeddyTails

Hi BabyJazz,

I hope this new RE works for you. My insurance company actually helped me find the RE I am seeing, and she has helped me tremendously! I officially became a pin cushion last night and I am now on my way!

I too had a high FSH reading, but if you find the right RE, they CAN help you. My RE has worked with me and my FSH has stayed an 8 every time I have had my blood tested since(I was 16 when I first started). I have been following the BCP's and tested with and without taking them. The BCP actually regulated my system and all is looking good right now.

I am now on Lupron and Gonal-F, and I go back on the 23rd for more blood work.

I hope your new RE is able to help you, if not, keep looking. There is a way.

Deb

tmccollum

Here is another link for you. It is a great site started by one of the ladies on the high fsh boards. She polled us all several times and compiled a list of high fsh RE's from around the country and some international. Not sure where you are located, but it is worth a look.

http://highfshinfo.com/?page_id=62

xo

ualtigger

Don't give up girlfriend... don't give up. I had issues with my first RE which is why I left them. Do you know what my new nurse said at my RE's before she even met me? We need to get you started so we can get you pregnant... my other RE was NEVER that positive... EVER. She reflected the practice with that statement. They are willing to do WHATEVER is possible for me to have my children... including IVF if I need it.

And get that book!! "Making Babies" by Dr. Sami S. David ( a RE in in N.Y. and the FIRST RE to do IVF in N.Y.) and Jill Blakeway (she is a Chinese Medicine Practioner). Also get "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler. A lot of good information is here... and I've read a lot to help ME help MYSELF... and to help my DOCTOR help me as well.

akeller

Just to add to the list of encouraging thoughts...I am 41 years old and had good numbers but wasn't given an answer of why three cycles of IUI were unsuccessful. Then my husband and I went to visit a friend on vacation and her husband, who is a youth pastor, prayed with us and asked God to grant the blessing that he had promised us. A month later we tried our fourth IUI and I'm now twelve weeks pregnant! I don't know what faith you associate with, but I do know that in my darkest hours (I also miscarried shortly after our third try) God has never left my side. My prayer for you is that he would put people in your life to guide and help you, and that you would continue to use both the medical and spiritual resources you have so that you can claim the promise that is waiting for you.
Don't ever lose hope...

sui

There's hope, I'm 43, will be 44 in 2 mos and single and pursuing a baby! We are all in different situations, single, with or without partners but all want a baby. I find out my results on Wed, had my 1st IUI.

smaciegracie

Well, I lost my baby ( a boy @ the month of pregnancy) but will be trying again. I believe things will be better next time. I will get a baby! Keep fighting no matter what they say.

MistyandCarla

BabyJazz...just checking in on you...

akeller...Congrats! I also done lots of praying before getting a bfp...it's the only thing that got me through all of the stress.

sui...Looks like you'll have results today! I'm praying for you...I hope you post with great news!

smaciegracie...I don't frequent the boards as much these days...little Reece keeps me from it, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss and I'm glad to hear that you're not giving up on your dream of becoming a Mommy. I pray God comforts you during this difficult time and that your next IUI is successful!

If any of you just need a friend, you can always contact me by email at lovefitness04 @ hotmail dot com or find me on facebook under Misty Richmond. Just put CCB in the subject line so I don't delete you as junk mail. :)

sui

There is hope, I got my BFP on Wed, I'm pregnant after the 1st IUI round!!! Keep the faith and thinking positive! Baby dust and positive vibes to everyone!!