Raising a biracial baby on your own- 'teach' them about father's race/ethnicity?

SingaSongSingaSong Posts: 5
in Single Mothers by Choice
Wondering if anyone has thoughts on how to give their kids information about their 'donor' side, especially if they are biracial. I am AA and chose an Asian donor. I chose an open donor to give the (future) child the choice to know about the donor, but I also feel that I would want the child to have the option to 'know' that they are 1/2 Chinese as they are growing up; to explore that part of themselves.

Has anyone thought about this? What is/was your decision?

Comments

  • tffotffo Posts: 94
    My child is biracial. I'm AA and my donor is white. I was not too concerned about this because my mother is biracial and my family is pretty diverse. I was surprised though, that my son came out not looking black at all! That was not one of the things I had mentally prepared for so I just want to point out that that is a possibility. I personally would want my child to know and experience their Chinese heritage. Also, like most biracial kids, they will probably be asked what they are frequently, so I would want them to know the answer. When I was considering an Asian donor I fully intended to expose my child to the culture, and possibly even take trip there. The donor I went with shares my mother's German heritage, but also is Irish, so I would love to take my son there one day to see another part of himself and his history. I intend to tell him all of his ancestry that I know about, and help him celebrate all parts of himself.
  • SingaSongSingaSong Posts: 5
    Thank you for your thoughts. When will you start to let your son know more about their other half? Have you already? Some of my friends suggested I research some names that might reflect their Chinese half (as a middle name or something), but I don't want to be "weird" about it. I'm not even super sure I'm pregnant yet (in 2 week wait), but obviously I am keeping my mind (too) busy...
  • tffotffo Posts: 94
    My son will be 1 in a couple weeks so I'm not quite there with discussing how he came to be, but I am looking at books for kids about being donor conceived and I intend to start reading them to him so that he always has some sort of understanding about where he comes from. I guess as soon as he's able to understand I will let him know. I'm sure he will have questions about why we don't look alike and I will definitely explain it to him then.

    As for the middle name idea, I think that's really cool. And I wouldn't worry about being "weird". This is your child, you do what feels right for you, not for anyone else. I think, just because your child doesn't have a father doesn't mean they don't have a heritage. They should be able to experience or enjoy it just like anyone else. Good luck with your cycle. I hope you get good news soon!
  • DINA FAITH IN GODDINA FAITH IN GOD Posts: 4

    I’m AA my donor is Iran is that considered bi Bi- Racial

  • babysproutbabysprout Posts: 17

    I've been thinking the same questions.

  • sewonsewforthsewonsewforth Posts: 1
    edited July 1, 2019 3:22PM

    Yes, anytime the mother and father are of different ethnic origins, the child is considered bi-racial. It doesn't matter which two (or more) ethnicities.

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