Faith

jaimec

I am definitely not trying to start any controversy, but I am wondering how many people on here rely on faith (of any kind) or if people are past that and just relying on science?

austingurl

I definitely rely on faith as well. I believe everything happens for a reason and when it is meant to happen. There is a bigger plan at work.

shonarb73

Oooooh, good question! A few years ago I would have definitely said it's all science, but now Im starting to understand the whole mind-body-spirit connection. Our spiritual health (not necessarily connected to religion) definitely influences our physical health. That's why things like meditation, biofeedback, prayer, reiki, acupuncture helps to heal the body. So, yeah, I'm relying on faith to help science out a bit.

eeh876

I have faith, for sure. I wouldn't call myself a organized religion sort of person, but I think I am a spiritual one, and I believe in a higher power. And I agree with shonarb73; I am trying to stay positive and strong (and spiritually centered) through all of this.

jaimec

I was raised Catholic and though I still have my beliefs I disagree with a lot of what the Catholic Church teaches. I don't attend church regularly but I do consider myself spiritual, faithful, religious or whatever you want to call it. I was just wondering if anyone was starting to feel disillusioned with the whole "keep the faith" when it comes to this process.

singleprofessional

Great Topic!!! Don't be disillusioned, be strong and believe!! Stress, worry and anxiety will weaken your mind/body connection. I've researched and being a westernized healthcare professional do believe in Alternative/Holistic treatments combined w/ Western Science.... acupuncture/mediation/yoga and medicine can play apart in the energy from your brain/heart and uterus. I also believe in being realistic but having Faith @ the same time. I pray and ask for support from the few family/friends I've shared my path with and ask for sprinkles of baby dust/prayers that God will guide my life in the path he wants me to take. I know he knows I would make a wonderful mother, if not naturally or w/ Western Science assistance than by adoption. But if I didn't @ least try this route I would always live w/ regret. No thank you, better to say I tried fully w/ all my heart and soul than live w/ remorse and what ifs..... I try to attend a church service and I swear through the message of the day, God is speaking to me. In fact, this past Sunday the message I will share w/ you gives me peace... " I can do everything through Him who gives me strength" Philippians 4:13
Allow God to carry your burdens and fears and he will give you his strength and love!!!!

jaimec

I am trying very hard to let go of my stress and worry and give it over to God. I wish it were as easy as it sounsd to just unburden myself.I have been so down and depressed over this for months that I think I just need to give myself a kick in the butt and get back into life. I am going to resume my evening walks although I lost my walking partnr, my dog, 2 weeks ago. I think I am going to try yoga this week. Maybe that will help clear my head and get me ready for the next round.

shonarb73

Jaimec, yay for you! You'll love yoga. Try a class that makes you work up a sweat like ashtanga or "flow" yoga as it helps to rid your body of toxins. I would really love to try bikram (aka "hot") yoga but i live in a somewhat rural area and the yoga options are limited. It's amazing how much better your body moves after just a few weeks of regular practice. I've been slacking the past few months, so thanks for reminding me of how good it makes me feel! Going tomorrow for sure!

shonarb73

Oh, and singleprofessional, what kind of western health practitioner are you? I'm a PA who really hates drugs! lol. I'm making an exception for clomid and hcg trigger. I've become a bit disillusioned by the western approach and sometimes dream about retraining as an acupuncturist or Ayurvedic practitioner or herbalist. In a perfect world...

jaimec

shonarb73 - I'm just going to start out with yoga in my living room with a dvd for now...until I feel comfortable enough to go somewhere. Because of 2 back to back thyroid surgeries (my doctor was insane) last year, I have put on some weight and would love to get rid of some of that and feel healthy again!

amy@laduska.com

Haven't posted in a while, but started lurking today.

I do rely on faith much more than my education would say is necessary. I live in and have been raised Southern Baptist in the heart of the Bible belt. My choice to become a single mom in 2008 brought more joy than I could ever imagine, but also caused some pain due to the rejection from many around me whom I considered to be close friends. I have been asked, even recently, "Don't you think that if God wanted you to be a mom, he would've put a man to be a father to that child in your life?" I don't have the answers, but I will never regret having my DS by donor 11182.

A single friend who adopted internationally was asked to leave her large (2000+ per service in 4-services every Sunday), protestant church because she 'devalued' the role of a father in her daughter's life by choosing to become a single mom. I haven't had to face that; my church has been nothing but supportive.

I am in the process of TTC #2 (or 3 or 4) through IUI at the age of 41 using the same donor. I've gone through one failed IUI this time around after having a tube removed on 11/30/11. I'm waiting for AF because I had a cyst on my left ovary due to the injectible (Follistem).

I am in continual prayer about my journey to conceive again, but don't think that God would've placed this desire on my heart if it wasn't meant to happen.

shonarb73

Amy, that's terrible about your friend! I have a real problem with religious institutions that insist the man-woman-child(ren) formula is the only acceptable type of family. For many years I considered myself an atheist, but now that I'm starting to become a little more "spiritual" I have decided not to rule it out just yet. I love the sense of community that comes with being involved in a church and would really like my future child(ren) to have that experience. I'm especially drawn to a couple of more controversial churches that seem to place a bigger emphasis on family and serving others, but sadly these are also the churches that flat out state in their literature that they do not support single mothers by choice. I'm sure if I joined them after having a baby I would be welcomed and my decision would be "forgiven" but I refuse to apologize for the manner in which I become a parent. Why is my desire to love, care for and guide a child less valid than a woman who just happens to be married? And what does that tell my child if I'm supposed to be apologetic or ashamed of the way I brought him/her into the world. Is the child supposed to be ashamed of the fact that his/her mother wanted him/her so much she was willing to go to great lengths to make it happen? I still want to find that sense of belonging and community and service to others that one can find in a church, but I'll keep searching until I find somewhere less judgmental and smug. Whew! Sorry, I hot a little fired up about that one!

austingurl

Oh my gosh Amy. That is horrible about your friend! She adopted a child that had no parents. Would they rather her leave a child with no parent than to give that child one loving parent? That is just sad in my opinion. Aren't they devaluing the role of God the Father in that child's life by saying your friend should not have her when it's obviously God's plan for that child's life to be with your friend?

I sat in the room before my IUI yesterday praying to God that it would work. I believe every child is a gift and a child of God. If God blesses me with a child, no one better question how much I value that child or if I did the right thing. I went to Catholic schools. I can quote the Bible right back at anyone...lol.

jaimec

Amy - I love that last line in your post "I don't think God would've placed this desire on my heart if it wasn't meant to happen"....so true!!!

vdaffron

Wow, this is a great, great topic. I was raised Southern Baptist and Presbyterian and was also a practicing Methodist for a while. More recently I rely more on a belief in love and a guiding intelligence because it brings me more peace. My family thinks I'm lost and possibly even 'evil,' but I know that's not the truth. I am a very compassionate woman who does not want to be in an unhealthy relationship. I know based on past history that this is most likely what will result if I am in a relationship with a man. I still have hope that one day a man in my life will accept me for me and understand why I've done the things I've done and made the decisions I've made, but I will be totally ok too if it never happens. My joy comes from within in knowing that I have the courage to go down a path many would scorn at or never have the courage to attempt. I know women in this southern town I live in will judge me, but I am going to have to be ok with that too... I'm sure it will hurt from time to time, but one thing I have learned is that love is the answer to everything. Love yourself, love your children, love those who misunderstand you. If they say hurtful things, respond with respect in return. But don't disrespect the courageous woman you are. I am not preaching, only sharing some of the thoughts I have personally that help me along this journey. As I have been debating taking this step for so long - and am aware of the fact that others don't necessarily support me in in - but have finally gotten the courage to proceed, when I am in doubt, when any negative thought about what I am about to do (inseminate with a donor), I pray 'God give me the strength to do what I know I need to do.' And it has helped. I literally block out the negative thought with that prayer. Hope this helps someone. And if it doesn't, it's helped me, so thank you for reading and allowing me to be myself here. I love you all!

amy@laduska.com

vdaffron - I understand waht you mean by the "women in this southern town I live in will judge me" - aren't we the worst! I'm now teaching a "What Baptists Believe" class at my home church and it's amazing how many thing Baptists are supposed to believe that don't make it into our day-to-day lives. The whole, not judging - aka, each person's sole and soul accountability to God, not anyone else - seems to be lost these days! I moved to the 'big city' of Birmingham and tried various churches. In the mega churches, the singles programs are another form of a meat market and in the smaller churches, where there wasn't a singles program, the women all act as if you wanted their husbands. I even left an age-appropriate Bible study one Sunday morning because I overheard two of the women talking about the single woman who wanted their husbands! I stopped them and corrected them with the following: "I only want MY husband! If I took one of yours', why would I think he would ever really be mine! If he would cheat on you, he would cheat on me!" and left!